zimmy

I'm 49 male, divorced. I liked to drink socially when younger. Quit drinking entirely for several years because I didn't want to be like my Dad. Drinking was never really a problem or priority until almost 3 years ago.

At that time, I got a divorce after being married 16 years. Started drinking to ease the pain. Beer mostly and some wine.

It's escalated since then. I now drink every day. At least 1 pint per day but more often it's 2 or 3 pints of 6.5% beer. I'll also smoke some weed with it.

I don't like how I feel the next day but by the time the early evening comes I'm ready to go again. I really look forward to drinking beer, smoking weed and just chilling out.

I work out every day though sometimes my workouts aren't that great because of the prior night's drinking.

I'm thinking I need to stop at some point. Just not now. But if not now then when?

Maybe I should just cut back. Have 2 or 3 sober days per week. Set limits. I don't believe in AA or counseling.

TheRestorative

"I don't like how I feel the next day but by the time the early evening comes I'm ready to go again."

I can totally relate to this. I'd wake up every morning and think to myself, "Never again. No. This sucks." But by the time the evening came, and my body had somewhat recovered, I'd be all for drinking again. Physically & mentally, I had forgotten the hangover and deceived myself into thinking it wouldn't happen again. It's crazy how our minds play tricks like that, however unintentional it might be.

I'd say that when the cravings come, try to remember the mornings where you feel terrible. Also, examine your state of mental health. Are you using alcohol to self-medicate problems you're not facing head on? There are lots of questions to ask yourself. I hope you find the answers.

~ Abby

zimmy

Thanks Abby. Are you sober now? What has made you want to quit in the past?

Klia

If drinking is making you feel bad often, then yes, it's a problem. But I do believe the word 'alcoholic' means different things based on the individual. I also believe that if you have to ask and you are experiencing problems, then you just might be.

silly

Have you been to counseling or attended AA meetings to know what there is to believe or not believe in them? I don't understand it when a person says they don't believe in counseling like it's a religion or something. I've never met a person that says this and has actually been to counseling even one time. Actually, you could say that Sober Recovery is counseling. peer-to-peer.

Regardless, it sounds like you have tried to cut back but "evening comes I'm ready to go again". What can you do differently today and forward to set limits you'll keep?
You have to want to stop drinking to actually stop. And as you've said, now is not the time.

Most of us won't be good at providing advice on how to cut back. We've tried, tried again and then tried 20-100 more times. Didn't work. One is one too many and one more is never enough.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. We're here for you if you need support!

least

I don't think that labels matter, what matters is whether or not alcohol is causing problems in your life. I gave it up for good almost three years ago and don't miss it one bit. My life is far better sober.


Welcome to the family!

bbthumper

Some folks are able to quit or cut back and control their drinking on their. If that's the case with you then that's great news. If you find that you aren't able to do that then AA or another recovery program may be a good idea.

doggonecarl

Welcome.

That's what I attempted the last 10 years of my drinking. Moderation. Rules. Control.

Worked, until it didn't any more.

When was the last time you were sober for a month? Two?

Try. You will either manage it, or you won't. Pay attention to the won't.

MIRecovery

My experience has been that people who do not have a problem do not ask if they have a problem

zimmy

If I really want to quit and feel that I can't do it on my own then I would seek outside help. My problem right now is that I don't want to quit entirely and if I did, I feel I could do it on my own. I realize I'm playing with fire right now and feel like I either need to get better control or it's going to get worse.

The problem I have with AA is the religion aspect and the attitude that alcoholism is a disease and people can't control it on their own. I happen to feel my alcohol consumption is a choice. It's probably a very unwise choice but a choice nonetheless.

I dated a PHD is Psychology once and she told me that most Psychologists are crazier than their patients. I've been to couple of counselors in the past and tend to agree. I found no help in talking about my life and getting advice from someone who I feel also doesn't have their life together.

zimmy

Thanks Doggone. I was sober for 1 month about 1 1/2 years ago. I did it just to make sure that I was still in control and thought I was drinking too much. Probably need another month now just to re-evaluate.

Southerner

The presence of the question points both to a situation and the potential corrective action. You just have to be at a point to accept that.

soberlicious

You're doing something that makes you feel like sh*t but you're not sure you really want to quit doing it?

Yes, you absolutely can do it on your own. People quit self destructive behaviors on their own all the time.
so...why don't you?
No need to answer that. Just think long and hard about the answers you hear in your head. Any answers that suggest that continued alcohol use is in any way beneficial to you or a good idea are all lies. It's that simple.
Best to you. I hope you find freedom.

Mark75

Well, LOL, it's pretty easy for alcoholics to choose to drink... yea, it sure is.

If you can choose to not drink, consistently and never drink more than you intended and have no serious consequences... then there is no reason for you to consider AA, so don't worry about it.

Your ideas about AA are a little off, I am AA and this idea of it being a disease is not set in stone and is of really no interest to AA... Yea, it is a spiritual program... absolutely.

Good luck with your plan, and if it works .... AWESOME!!.. if not, you have options.

MIRecovery

The problem with alcoholism it that it is progressive, meaning it only gets worse. If a person is an alcoholic quit for a day, a month, or a year and you pick up right where you left off. I have multiple periods of sobriety under my belt including 6 years. After 6 years of no booze I was back at a fifth a day in two months.

I think a better test is controlled drinking. Have 2 beers a day for a year. If you can maintain that then there is likely no problem and you can happily be a normal drinker but if you find once you drink you want to drink more uh-oh. Houston we have a problem

bbthumper

You may very well have choice and control. That's good news if you do. But if you find at any point that you have lost either of those, you may need to go against some of your preconceived ideas and get some outside help. Best wishes to you.

zimmy

Take it easy Soberlicious. Drinking alcohol has benefits and risks. Rewards and punishments. It's not just a 1 sided negative. If it were, nobody would start drinking.

I came here because I think I've been drinking too much and wanted the perspective of others. I realize those who have quit entirely and are going to AA meetings probably don't agree with a managed alcohol consumption goal or a middle ground. I'm seeking middle ground at this point.

zimmy

Thank you Recovery. What if I can maintain 2 beers per day for a year but WANT more? As long as I'm able to control myself, isn't that ok?

MIRecovery

This is just my opinion but if you want more eventually the desire is going to win. This is the rest of your life we are talking about. Do you constantly want be tormented by an itch you should not scratch? If you are anything like me 2 days or 2 years I am going to scratch that bad boy until it bleeds

zimmy

I here you. At this point, I'm thinking complete sobriety is a worse itch than managed consumption.