Dorris

Ok it's been decided me and my hubby are going for a meal tonight once we have dropped the children off at 6pm.

What I can I say to him which will hit home the reason I'm giving up alcohol with out turning it into an emotional dinner where I start crying. I want to say something that will not come across nasty but will stick in his mind.

I think I'm going to have to play the long waiting game with him, as I know he's not prepared to quit just yet.

I really am grateful for all your help and advice xxx

FredG

Love your signature line Dorris - What's it mean to you?
My prayers are with you

silly

I suggest keeping it as simple as possible. Focus on you and why YOU'RE giving up alcohol. He'll need to come around in his own time, you're right.

"I've decided to stop drinking. I think it's affecting my life negatively and I've become dependent on it. This is going to be really hard for me but I'm commited. I've found some great support online and ________ but your support will mean a lot to me as well. I'm not asking you to change, I'm asking that you encourage me in my goal of complete sobriety"
Then just wait for him to respond. I left that little 'fill in the blank' part because I don't remember if you're doing AA or any other support programs yet.

Dorris

Thanks Fred,

It's tells me to get on with it and by doing so I should feel better and every day it relates to something different

Today it means if I go to the pub and have a meal with my husband I will have the chance to explain how I feel.

Pondlady

I too would keep it simple. Your behavior here on out will send the biggest message to him. I'd also tell him you love him People can feel very threatened by change and their fear can make them nasty / angry. Positive thoughts for your sober date night

Dejvice

I would just stop....and not even discuss it.

Dorris

Thank you Silly and Kim, I done just as you said and kept it about my problem and to my surprise he was very understanding. He's not ready to quit beleives he can control his drinking and that being said as long as he supports me i'll support him and I'm sure in time he will have his final reason for not wanting to drink again, he has already questioned himself the last few days.

Thanks everyone xxx