Love him to death
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: New london mo
Posts: 1
Love him to death
I am seaking help i am a girlfriend of an alcoholic of ten yrs we have two kids i ve tried everthing i can to help him but he is denial tring to fine ways to help myself deal with it without letting it tear my family apart i attented first al-anon last night which helped i know theres not much i can do but want to be at ease myself
Iceberg Ahead!
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Out at Sea
Posts: 1,177
Welcome here to SR, DanielleT! Keep coming back, reading and posting. Saw your blog posts too.
Love isn't enough. We need detachment with love, or compassion and taking care of ourselves instead of the A. You've probably been through this already, and seen that it doesn't work:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...st-us-did.html
Go to Al-Anon meetings, different groups too; as many as you can get in a week! Work the program and all its tools: meetings, sponsor, reading, contacts with other members between meetings, writing, meditation, etc
It Works, If We Work It!
Love isn't enough. We need detachment with love, or compassion and taking care of ourselves instead of the A. You've probably been through this already, and seen that it doesn't work:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...st-us-did.html
Go to Al-Anon meetings, different groups too; as many as you can get in a week! Work the program and all its tools: meetings, sponsor, reading, contacts with other members between meetings, writing, meditation, etc
It Works, If We Work It!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 378
Hi, I would start at the beginning which for me was reading the invaluable book by Melodie Beattie - "Codependent No More".
Great start! Alanon is a good place for you!
The one thing we don't want to do is to "love them to death". :-) Because what we actually need to do to help them is the hardest action we may ever take. The exact opposite of what we feel. We have to allow them to fall so that they can learn from their mistakes, to fully realize that addiction can and does kill. It's a journey . . .
Great start! Alanon is a good place for you!
The one thing we don't want to do is to "love them to death". :-) Because what we actually need to do to help them is the hardest action we may ever take. The exact opposite of what we feel. We have to allow them to fall so that they can learn from their mistakes, to fully realize that addiction can and does kill. It's a journey . . .
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Yes, you may love him to death...as...love cannot resolve addiction, love can kill.
Have you read Codependent No More? How about all the stickeys in the Family & Friends Forums...and...read others posts and keep posting yourself.
Have you read Codependent No More? How about all the stickeys in the Family & Friends Forums...and...read others posts and keep posting yourself.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome to the SR family!
I'm glad you are here, but sorry for the reason that brought you here. Please feel free to read and post as much as needed.
The sticky posts at the top of this main forum page contain some of our stories and loads of wisdom.
This is one of my favorite sticky posts. It contains steps that helped me while I was living with active alcoholism:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
I'm glad you are here, but sorry for the reason that brought you here. Please feel free to read and post as much as needed.
The sticky posts at the top of this main forum page contain some of our stories and loads of wisdom.
This is one of my favorite sticky posts. It contains steps that helped me while I was living with active alcoholism:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
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