MyTimeNow

*sigh* I'm not sure what happened at the end of August and carried on into the beginning of September but it stops now. I'd pretty much gone back to the old ways - drinking every other day. It's ridiculous, I've regained the weight that I lost, I've regained the crappy skin that i'd lost... lethargic, moody, unproductive, generally feeling rubbish... yep regained it all!

I made a half hearted attempt to come back last week, but it was all wrong, there was still drink in the house and I didn't even try and fight the worst few days of withdrawal, just caved in to feel 'better'

Done with it now and ready to get back on track. There have been so many positive changes in my life since I joined at the end of June - I'm going to regain those and move forwards with them.

It's so hard to get back into the swing of things after falling off for a few weeks, but it needs doing and it starts today!

Dee74

Welcome back MTN - good to see you.
I'm looking forward to following your progress again

My advice is dismiss all the mental obstacles and don't put off your future...make a plan...start it today...and follow it through....

you can do this

D

Sapling

What is your plan to make it work this time?....What was your plan last time?

MyTimeNow

Thanks Dee I'll be back in class later!

I honestly don't know at the moment. My plan for the right now is just to get through the next few days, get back on track feeling healthier and then revisit what I was doing before, where it went wrong and then walk the walk instead of just talking the talk. Yay that sounds cheesy, can't beat a bit of cheese on a Sunday morning

Sapling

Give it all you got MyTimeNow....I haven't heard one person go back to drinking and say "Wow....It was better this time."....I think I'll keep waiting.

Healthyfood

MyTimeNow

I think you are ready now to stay sober for good. Every relapse is a harsh reminder of what we are dealing with here. A very short pleasure follows a long term depression.

Sugarfix

I always drank by early evening to 'take the edge off the hangover' and promised that after 'taking the edge off it' I wouldnt drink. It sometimes worked.. and I would quit for a few days but go back on it.

For me, the hangovers are extremely bad, with anxiety, jitters.. restlessness... one night I was so bad with the withdrawals I had restless leg.. and was lying still in what felt like a coma with just my thoughts racing!

I still carried on drinking no matter what!!

You sound a bit similar to me in that respect.

Weight gain is awful too, I have puffy skin.. though last time I quit drinking and smoking I treated myself to lots of lovely skin products and really got into making my skin nice with Cliniques 3 step programme... after 2 weeks my skin was glowing.

Once you see changes in your body and feel healthier it makes it worthwhile

Maybe you could do similar x

MyTimeNow

This made me chuckle - too true! I'm also yet to see the post that says hey I'm back after a 3/4 week bender and I feel amazing! Looking great, I've got so much done, my life has never been better... yeah...

Why is it that your mind can overlook the simplest of things such as that?

MyTimeNow

Very true Healthyfood thanks I don't even think I experienced the short pleasure. If I did it was very short lived! I find myself bored now drinking, staring at the computer waiting for something to happen... It never did. Not sure what I was expecting really LOL

MyTimeNow

Thanks Sugarfix Yes I'll definitely be looking to treat myself again, even stopped taking vitamins in the last few weeks, eating rubbish too. Sigh.

I'll get back on it. To think this time 2 months ago I was up at 6am giggling to myself flailing around the room to a Zumba vid. I definitely miss feeling that good. It will come back soon I know it. Will get through the horrible first few days and next Sunday morning be flailing once again Might have to make that my new mantra - flail, not fail!!

Sugarfix

Well now you don't have to miss it You're sober

Treats are the way forward.. my treats are Cheesecake and Cheese sandwiches right now but that will change haha!

I am a size 8-10 usually - size 14/16 now because I have been drinking 11months non stop! That's a long time when I type it! Before that I was off it for 7 months... an 11 month binge!

We can do it

Sapling

We have a guy down here that goes to a meeting I go to sometimes...It's not my homegroup....But he's been going to this meeting for like 15 years and he always sits in the same chair right by the door.,They ask him why he always sits in the same chair....And he says he's waiting for someone to come through and say it was better this time....Then he's going to go back to drinking...LOL....He's still waiting.

justhadenough

Welcome back

I'll see you in the Sep class,as you know I'm struggling too.xx

MyTimeNow

Welcome back too

Here's to a successful comeback for both of us I'm sure we'll get there together! xx

I'll post in Sept in the morning, busy day here, been to my mum's for dinner and had bought daughter a new bike so have been out practising with that. I'm not sure whether there was more pedaling or pushing going on!

Day 1 done, about ready for my bed now. Catch up tomorrow with everybody

Jimuk

Hi MTN, remember me. Its great to see you back, join the September group if you want to when you feel ready. Its a great group!

I went AWOL for a couple months but back up to day 15 now. I know you can do this MTN.

MyTimeNow

Of course I remember you Jim! Glad to see you're back on track and doing great Feeling too tired to think or function at the moment, so definitely off to bed and I shall catch up with you in the morning in class

RevivingOphelia

I've been off and on since the Spring. I think it's great that you are back and we are not giving up. I'm with you.

Live2Run25

Welcome back. You can do this! =)

MyTimeNow

Thank you Ophelia We can do this!!

Thanks L2R, yes I can


So it's 8.45am I'm just having (another) cuppa before I head out to do the shopping. One of the most positive things that has happened since joining SR at the end of June is that I realised ... and this is probably going to sound awful... that I COULD be up in the morning and getting on with the day early, rather than up... do a whole lot of nothing and start the day about midday. So on the basis of that, I changed my DDs nursery sessions to 3 mornings a week rather than afternoons, so she starts at 8am. I love the being up and out, walking to the nursery in the cool sunshine feeling raring to go, getting so much done and then going to collect her...

BUT!!! I got into the trap of 'rewarding' myself for it in the evenings when I knew we didn't have to be up early the next day. So kind of pointless really! She's only been back just over a week so nipping that habit in the bud NOW and making a timetable for the week to make sure we are up and out doing something every morning.

I really need to get back to work and have something for myself, if only for more self esteem - that's never going to happen if can't get going in the mornings.

Of course the other positive is that after 6 years in this house, we now have a shower! Back in July with booze money saved, I not only bought everything I needed, but I installed it myself, couldn't be up and out at 8 without that lol

Annnnnnnd straight back into waffling mode...

Morning campers Day 2 and feeling positive again.

instant

Welcome back!! it's great you made it.

Never leave and you will never have to come back.

Feeling better was always a dangerous place for me