my dad is a heroin addict
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 23
my dad is a heroin addict
I've known my dad has had a drug problem for about 4 years now. I've known, and I've never told anybody.
He's borrowed money from me, saying it was for house bills, and not to tell my mom. At times, he had suspicous behaviour, and others, he was 100% normal.
That's the thing- we were a normal family. I'm just 19 years old. I have sisters, my parents are married, we're all heading/in univeristy, we have a nice house...
then things changed.
My mom and sister caught on to my dads addiction. Looking back, I can't believe I never mentioned it to them. My dad and I have always had this amazing relationship- I could tell him anything, and I trusted him more than anyone I knew. Which is why when my mom decided we needed an intervention, I was so scared. How could I accuse my dad of something so harsh? Doing drugs? the man who told ME never ever use drugs? (I have never, for refrence).
It was a long night, and took a lot of talking, and a LOT of crying- but he admitted he had a problem. He never said what he was addicted to, but he said he'd quit.
And he did.
The first night I heard him go through the first part of detox.
It was hell.
He screamed, he shouted, he was sick, he screamed some more...all through the night. We eventually brought him to a detox center once we found out that he was injecting heroin. He was gone for a week, and came back, clean. Although his mind wasn't in the right place. He was angry, and thought we as a family, were "up" to something.
While this was happening, we came close to losing our home- that I've lived in for 10 years. He was fired from his job because they found out about his problem. My mom decided to sell the house and live on her own.
Everything I know, has just fallen apart.
My dad went to a rehab center a few hours away, for about a month. He's back, clean, and ready to start a new life.
I don't have anyone to talk to. NONE of my friends know. I feel like I can't explain to them that a drug addiction is disease. Nobody WANTS to be addicted to heroin. It takes over your brain. I feel like they wouldn't judge, and they'd understand...but what if they don't? What if they look at my dad from now on with shame in their eyes? I've forgiven him, I think. It's just tough when there's nobody to talk to.
He's borrowed money from me, saying it was for house bills, and not to tell my mom. At times, he had suspicous behaviour, and others, he was 100% normal.
That's the thing- we were a normal family. I'm just 19 years old. I have sisters, my parents are married, we're all heading/in univeristy, we have a nice house...
then things changed.
My mom and sister caught on to my dads addiction. Looking back, I can't believe I never mentioned it to them. My dad and I have always had this amazing relationship- I could tell him anything, and I trusted him more than anyone I knew. Which is why when my mom decided we needed an intervention, I was so scared. How could I accuse my dad of something so harsh? Doing drugs? the man who told ME never ever use drugs? (I have never, for refrence).
It was a long night, and took a lot of talking, and a LOT of crying- but he admitted he had a problem. He never said what he was addicted to, but he said he'd quit.
And he did.
The first night I heard him go through the first part of detox.
It was hell.
He screamed, he shouted, he was sick, he screamed some more...all through the night. We eventually brought him to a detox center once we found out that he was injecting heroin. He was gone for a week, and came back, clean. Although his mind wasn't in the right place. He was angry, and thought we as a family, were "up" to something.
While this was happening, we came close to losing our home- that I've lived in for 10 years. He was fired from his job because they found out about his problem. My mom decided to sell the house and live on her own.
Everything I know, has just fallen apart.
My dad went to a rehab center a few hours away, for about a month. He's back, clean, and ready to start a new life.
I don't have anyone to talk to. NONE of my friends know. I feel like I can't explain to them that a drug addiction is disease. Nobody WANTS to be addicted to heroin. It takes over your brain. I feel like they wouldn't judge, and they'd understand...but what if they don't? What if they look at my dad from now on with shame in their eyes? I've forgiven him, I think. It's just tough when there's nobody to talk to.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,437
Hi illigia. My Dad was an alcoholic all his life, I don't have any experience personally with drugs. I'm sorry this is happening to you, I know you feel alone but you aren't. There are many people here and you can find a group for support, at Alanon. I hope you decide to reach out and try a support group, you will be surprised at how 'not alone' you will be.
You were just a child when you found out about your father's habit and you were not responsible to fix him. It sounds like you love your father (way ahead of me there) and this will be hard but you can do it, and you can be happy no matter what your father does or doesn't do. Do some reading, educate yourself on the addiction and stages of recovery but most of all take care of yourself. If you think you can rescue him (which you really can't) you do have to take care of yourself first. Someone said recently here, that it's like you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can help others put theirs on. Learn and pray. Good luck.
You were just a child when you found out about your father's habit and you were not responsible to fix him. It sounds like you love your father (way ahead of me there) and this will be hard but you can do it, and you can be happy no matter what your father does or doesn't do. Do some reading, educate yourself on the addiction and stages of recovery but most of all take care of yourself. If you think you can rescue him (which you really can't) you do have to take care of yourself first. Someone said recently here, that it's like you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can help others put theirs on. Learn and pray. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 110
Hello Illiga,
If you are at university, there's probably a support group, and even one on one therapy included in your campus fee. There was when I went to university. And keep reading here, there's probably well over a thousand years worth of collective experience on this site.
Do you live with your father? If so, be prepared for manipulation, and keep an eye on your valuables. He may try to make you feel guilty that you don't trust him, etc. This is normal as he goes through recovery. Other family members may also react in ways that will surprise you. Be strong. If a person has never lived under the same roof as an addict, they'll never really get where you're coming from.
And... with heroin there's a very high chance that he'll relapse. So don't get your hopes up too much.
My sister is a heroin addict who I cut off contact with about a year and a half ago. She just had a baby last week. My family thinks I'm evil because I haven't resumed contact with her. We also kept my sister's addiction a big secret, so my actions seem really bizarre to our friends and extended family. But I can't control what other people feel, I have to do what's best for me. I could never have gotten through this time without the support on this website.
I know the feeling of being alone, even if you know other people have this same problem. But it's good that you are here.
If you are at university, there's probably a support group, and even one on one therapy included in your campus fee. There was when I went to university. And keep reading here, there's probably well over a thousand years worth of collective experience on this site.
Do you live with your father? If so, be prepared for manipulation, and keep an eye on your valuables. He may try to make you feel guilty that you don't trust him, etc. This is normal as he goes through recovery. Other family members may also react in ways that will surprise you. Be strong. If a person has never lived under the same roof as an addict, they'll never really get where you're coming from.
And... with heroin there's a very high chance that he'll relapse. So don't get your hopes up too much.
My sister is a heroin addict who I cut off contact with about a year and a half ago. She just had a baby last week. My family thinks I'm evil because I haven't resumed contact with her. We also kept my sister's addiction a big secret, so my actions seem really bizarre to our friends and extended family. But I can't control what other people feel, I have to do what's best for me. I could never have gotten through this time without the support on this website.
I know the feeling of being alone, even if you know other people have this same problem. But it's good that you are here.
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