fallingtogether

Its the halfway point of day 6. I'm posting because I am on edge. I'm trying to remain centered. Dh is putting up obstacle after obstacle. I'm wondering if we are even compatible anymore. We are growin so far apart. My drinking problem makes me selfish. It however, is my sobriety that is an inconvenience for him. For the past probably 6 months, he was free to do what he wanted as long as I had a bottle of wine to get me thru the afternoon/evening. He knew I would be at home with the kids doing whatever. But now that I am working on my sobriety, I am making plans, some with kids, some without and he is being out off. He's not encouraging at all. I think he woul rather me be at home working on my next drunk than out working on another sober day. It really sucks. Really really sucks. I just wanna say f u! You're not the only one who has an agenda you selfish sob!!!!!! Instead I'll post it on here and get ready for my commitment for the night. Thanks for reading!

Marjoram

It must be in the air. My hubby is not understanding the seriousness of all this, and that if he looked at himself, he would remember, that yes, he's an alcoholic, too. I'm having a rough day and not accomplishing jack. So, very frustrated with that as well. Have to get moving. Deep breath.

I wish you a peaceful night without wine. I'll do my best to stay away from the booze or the beer. Talk about just about feeling it at your fingertips.

I'm trying to get through Day 4.

Take care.

fallingtogether

Thanks babe! Best of luck to you too! I recognize the resentments..... I am also talking myself out of it because I do not want to feel like sh!t tomorrow. Nor do I want to start over at day 1. I'm scared I will give in later. I came home from football game to a 12 pack in the fridge, I just shook my head and kept quiet about it. My problem is alcohol, his problem is weed. What makes me angry the most is that when he drinks and gets drunk, he's hungover and in bed most of the day, when I drink too much I still get outta bed and tackle te day. I have no choice because first and foremost I am a mother. He is an only child, who is so selfish lately. Ughhhhhh let's do this major! Let's add another day of sobrriety!

Sapling

Both of you hang in there...This too shall pass....Just don't pick up and do the next right thing...Give yourselves a little distance...Take a walk...Do what you got to do.

Marjoram

Sounds good - I need to get back outside and feel the sun on my face. It will recharge me.

Doesn't matter if any of us are in a good or bad relationship, we have to do this for ourselves, first and foremost.

Such a beautiful day, and I've ruined most of it by being so mad. Tomorrow will be better, especially when I wake up to Day 5.

Sapling

Amen...I know it's not easy....But it is the truth. Nothing and nobody can get between you and your sobriety.

Marjoram

Thanks Sapling. This is always the toughest part of the day, right now. But, I believe I can do this. And the words put here, helps to make it happen.

Vall

Dear Chardonnay740,

I really feel for you (and Marjoram).

It's hard enough trying to look after yourself never mind having to get frustrated and worried about others...

Wishing you lots of strength. You both sound very focused though so I am not that worried about you :>

NoFireWater

Chardonnay and Marjoram, it's really hard to do this without support from people surrounding you, especially if you're both dealing with others with addictions. Weasel has talked about this too. No easy answers on how to deal with it.

You may have to just walk away from the offenders for a bit, recharge, do something that will alter your mood and help you cope. Watch something that will make you laugh. Read something that helps you to escape. You both were wise to come here and vent instead of picking up a drink Try to imagine how proud you'll feel if you resist, and how much more stressful it will be dealing with these same situations drunk. Hang in there!

sugarbear1

Feelings can change. Maybe think about what you are grateful for, do something nice for yourself. Only you can make you happier....

both of you can do this!!

keep moving forward!!

IndaMiricale

You got good support here. Member just for today..

Dee74

Regardless of whether or not you find the support you want elsewhere, guys, there's always support here.

Stick around

D

NewHouse2012

"It must be in the air. My hubby is not understanding the seriousness of all this, and that if he looked at himself, he would remember, that yes, he's an alcoholic, too. I'm having a rough day and not accomplishing jack. So, very frustrated with that as well. Have to get moving. Deep breath."



I could have written this exact thing myself. Yes, must be something in the air. Hard to negotiate with him a time just to go to a meeting so he can watch lil one, but it was no problem in the past to go get more beer or go to the bar. What the heck gives? AHHH just focusing on doing my thing today and not crossing paths too much with him. Sad.

Marjoram

This day absolutely is miserable. I'm crying...I'm a mess. For someone that tries to have it together...I'm failing horribly.

NewHouse2012

I am so sorry to hear this marjoram. We will have days like this, but it will get better, just trying to think this way helps me get through another day. Hugs to you.

Pondlady

Hoping you two ladies are doing ok this evening.....thinking of you both.

foodie1

Hugs to you Chard and Marjoram, sorry you're having a tough time. I'm just sitting here thinking of what my sponsor would say to this because I've struggled with it too, and I think she has said something like this to me: We can only control ourselves, and to set up expectations of others is to set ourselves up for disappointment. (Yes, even when it's your husband. Actually, I think especially when it's your husband) It's not fair and it's not nice, but you'll have to get past it for today so you can work your program (I always hate that part, why do I have to get past it if he's the one doing it???) Because recovery is about you. It's about changing you, and learning how to let go and turn things over to the god of your understanding, because you're not in charge. (My least favorite part. Of course I'm in charge!)

She's always right, though. It doesn't mean we're pushovers, which was my main worry. It means we realize our part in things, we let go of what we can't control and we have our limits and boundaries of what's acceptable in our lives and now we have the strength to enforce them.

Hang in there ladies!!