What dreams may come
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
What dreams may come
One of the things I am doing for the first time in my life is dream.
When I was a kid my parents never instilled in me a sense of hope for what I could do or see or be in life. I was this thing that was there but not nurtured. I had no concept of who I was.
Life then was purely about survival. The day in and day out of being a child of alcoholic parents left me little time to think about anything other than how I could avoid getting beat or yelled at.
My education was minimal because no one took interest in what I did. I would do the minimums to get by. Thoughts of college were never there. In fact my step father told me to forget about it. I was not going.
He said the same about a drivers license. He forbid me to get one. I didn't get mine at 16 like everyone else I knew. I got mine at 18 when I found the strength to defy him.
So for me nothing about the future was a consideration. No dreams. I lived this way until now.
My road to recovery almost demands that I learn to dream. It affords me the luxury to know I can do and see new things and become the person i was meant to be. Since now I won't be drunk or high I can move forward with life. And on life's terms.
More simply put, being sober gives me hope.
Dreams to me are not things like "I dream of being out of debt" or "I try to imagine myself being rich". I still don't have the opportunity to think about the external. How does one go from survival to living? Not gracefully. This post is part of that evolution.
It is an evolution. Becoming a drunk addict was the easy part. Becoming the man I am and hope to continue to be is... Well... The fun part.
I don't look back with sadness. I look back with joy. If I never had what was behind me I would also not have what's in front.
But this moment... The breath I have now.... It's the only one I can feel. And dreams are made of these moments. Not then. Not tomorrow. But simply now.
Dreams do come true. I am proof.
When I was a kid my parents never instilled in me a sense of hope for what I could do or see or be in life. I was this thing that was there but not nurtured. I had no concept of who I was.
Life then was purely about survival. The day in and day out of being a child of alcoholic parents left me little time to think about anything other than how I could avoid getting beat or yelled at.
My education was minimal because no one took interest in what I did. I would do the minimums to get by. Thoughts of college were never there. In fact my step father told me to forget about it. I was not going.
He said the same about a drivers license. He forbid me to get one. I didn't get mine at 16 like everyone else I knew. I got mine at 18 when I found the strength to defy him.
So for me nothing about the future was a consideration. No dreams. I lived this way until now.
My road to recovery almost demands that I learn to dream. It affords me the luxury to know I can do and see new things and become the person i was meant to be. Since now I won't be drunk or high I can move forward with life. And on life's terms.
More simply put, being sober gives me hope.
Dreams to me are not things like "I dream of being out of debt" or "I try to imagine myself being rich". I still don't have the opportunity to think about the external. How does one go from survival to living? Not gracefully. This post is part of that evolution.
It is an evolution. Becoming a drunk addict was the easy part. Becoming the man I am and hope to continue to be is... Well... The fun part.
I don't look back with sadness. I look back with joy. If I never had what was behind me I would also not have what's in front.
But this moment... The breath I have now.... It's the only one I can feel. And dreams are made of these moments. Not then. Not tomorrow. But simply now.
Dreams do come true. I am proof.
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 604
Ken, it sucks to have the childhood sucked right out of you due to other peoples' addictions. Every child should be able to dream and feel like they can come true. You were robbed! It's wonderful you can have a positive attitude and learn from the past and look forward to the future.
Take a big pack of Post Its and write down any dreams you might have and stick them everywhere for inspiration. Even crazy outlandish dreams just for fun.
They will make you smile and give you something to shoot for.
It would also be cool to go out and do some kid stuff that is fun, things you might have missed out on growing up. Give yourself a happy childhood now
Take a big pack of Post Its and write down any dreams you might have and stick them everywhere for inspiration. Even crazy outlandish dreams just for fun.
They will make you smile and give you something to shoot for.
It would also be cool to go out and do some kid stuff that is fun, things you might have missed out on growing up. Give yourself a happy childhood now
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Thank you NFW. I will do that. But have to say an middle aged man on the swings is a little creepy. Maybe I pass on going to the playground! Lol.
I get what you are saying and I appreciate the sentiment.
Ken.
I get what you are saying and I appreciate the sentiment.
Ken.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Surrey, UK
Posts: 522
Originally Posted by Weasel1966 
Thank you NFW. I will do that. But have to say an middle aged man on the swings is a little creepy. Maybe I pass on going to the playground! Lol.
I get what you are saying and I appreciate the sentiment.
Ken.
I get what you are saying and I appreciate the sentiment.
Ken.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: South
Posts: 226
Originally Posted by Weasel1966
It's amazing how I could have felt so little and so much at the same time.
It's cathartic and motivating... Sobriety.
Thanks.
It's cathartic and motivating... Sobriety.
Thanks.
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