Mracoa

Starting to work on myself. I've been struggling with this one a bit. I have lots of 'fun moments' in my life. Some of them are planned (Date night tonight, i'm looking forward to that). The spontaneous fun seems to be less frequent for me. I find I take things so serious, that I miss opportunities to just enjoy life as it's happening.

Does anyone have any tips on turning those fun 'moments' into longer periods of sustained fun?

Obstacles for me tend to be anxiety, obsessive negative thoughts and distractions (I tend to spend my 'fun time' using escapes from my life such as on line video games or movies).

I'm in IC working through that, and my co-dependency issues. Just wondering what tactics others are using to overcome this particular trait.

frances2011

What a great topic and question MrThekla. What is IC, if you don't mind me asking?

Like a lot of ACOAs, I'm super serious and on guard and hyper vigilant....all of which doesn't lend itself to fun.

*Scratches head*....well, one thing that helps is to be with people who are loving, trustworthy, and fun themselves.

Childlike activities where creativity is the point, rather than winning, are good. (I don't like competitive games, pretty much across the board. Just too triggering for me.)

Playing with actual children is VERY good.

Have FUN on your date night!

Mracoa

IC = individual counseling

Thanks for the response. Good advice on the children and childlike. I guess i still have issues there. My kids are teens now, and past that phase. I was in denial that my past had the impact it had, so I've missed out on a lot. Looking back, some things really stick out. My wife would sing songs with the kids, and I was always amazed at how many silly songs she knew. She was always amazed that I had never heard of most of them. I knew old macdonald and row row your boat. She could fill a few CD's with the songs she new. Such different childhoods.

DavidG

Keeping it simple... a deep breath, or a few quiet ones is a good starter- sent a bit of extra blood to the brain...

hope your evening tonight goes well...:>)

Chris1000101

I had a friend ask me what and when was the last time I did something spontaneously. They were at least nice about it starting off, “I know your unemployed. I know you don’t have a dime to your name thanks to the divorce. Etc. etc.” Then they asked when was the last time . . .

This is an example not a thread jack:
I enjoy thinking and I enjoy friendly controversy so my high from spontaneity is stirring the pot. There are several I like and one I did last week was on the lords prayer. It is said at the end of many meetings and so I ask if anyone ever thought about what they are saying when it is said. Think about the line, “and lead us not into temptation”. Then I asked, “Does this mean god has short comings or can sin, and we are asking him not to?” The fun part is the programs are spiritual. Therefore, how does one have a spiritual meeting and not get into religion. It makes for a good meeting.

DavidG

Yes, that gets back to Trad 10... The Lords Prayer is okay for some. [And okay for me as it happens. :>). ]

But for new members I sometimes leave out the first word in the Serenity Prayer and say "Please".

It is much more neutral and has exactly the same meaning for me...

...except it is much more direct and personal.

Thanks Chris

-David.

Chris1000101

Tradition 10 is a fun one too, one of our many oxymoron’s! To not make a decision is a decision. To not have an opinion is an opinion.

I had better behave before Mike gets after me. Sorry Mike I’ll find my dunce cap and return to my corner.

DavidG

I think I am okay with Mike... on my home online group I had to tread very carefully...[my own whacky perception]. But shore, not to scare off the natives in the first week...

DesertEyes

* lol * No worries

Me? I took juggling lessons. Great way to be spontaneous, have some fun and let the "inner child" out. Then I took lessons on how to _teach_ juggling. Even more fun.

I took classes in "puppeteering", that was a blast. One of my "bucket list" items is to figure out how to get a puppet to juggle

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I got into hi-tech stunt kites. The ones that can fly backwards as well as forwards.

What was important for me was to separate "child-ish" from "child-like". I had those two concepts tangled up from being raised by egregiously childish drunks.

Mike

Kialua

The older I get the more I like being with little kids –potty trained that is! LOL My friends and relatives are wearing thin and becoming much more work than they are worth at the moment. The connections are becoming less and less personal and more perfunctory than pleasurable. Being with people is draining.

As far as spontaneity goes it takes a lot for me to get up and go out and do something by myself. I can be on my computer day and night doing forum, art, photography and shopping if I'm not careful.