unrelenting

i've been drinking almost every day for the past four years. and i had gotten into taking pills and dxm on a regular basis for about a year. i just began going to an outpatient treatment center because my friends finally sat me down and said that where i was with all of this was a problem and that it was time to face that i have addiction problems. i agree with them; i know i need help. it is just so much harder than i thought...telling myself as a teenager that, "oh, i can stop at any time." yeah, right. it is so difficult...tomorrow, i will have been a month sober, though. i'm really proud of myself, but it's still very hard to get through every day without drinking. my family isn't really in my life, but my closest friends are so supportive and mean well...i joined this forum, though, because as much as they try, they still have a hard time understanding where i'm coming from with a lot of things. i just wanted to find a place where i could chat with people who understood where i am in my life currently with these issues...and everyone here seems very supportive and helpful. so yeah...i'm just really scared. afraid of what i may or may not do every day, not sure what will set me off or make me upset and start drinking again...but that's normal, right? i also wrote a few blog entries on here, explaining more in-the-moment feelings...i'm trying to keep track of how i feel in weak moments. but anyways...does anybody have any sort of advice for me? anybody who's gone through this before? i've been hospitalized and treated for bipolar disorder in the past. i'm still on medication and seeing doctors, and that's under control, but this is very different. i've never dealt with withdrawal or anything like this before. thanks.

Dee74

Welcome unrelenting

You'll find a lot of support here - and a few friends too...good to have you join us

D

jessd

Welcome. im glad your here

Sapling

Welcome to SR unrelenting...You say you have a month sober tomorrow?....That's wonderful and you should be through the worst of withdrawals...You won't feel normal...That's for sure but it will get better every day you don't use. I did inpatient rehab and actually left early for financial reasons and got right into AA....That's what they wanted me to do any way....I haven't looked back since and I haven't drank....Is that something you would be open too?....Ask them about it at your OP treatment. I found being around people that knew how to live without alcohol...That wanted to help me do that....Was the only way that would work for me....And it did. Glad you are here friend....You can have a new life. As far as being scared goes....The whole thing terrified me....As I admitted to myself I needed help...And started accepting help....The fear started to leave me....I was ready to listen.

MrsKing

Welcome to SR it's good to have you here. As you've noticed already, there is so much support here.

Don't be scared or afraid. Although a little fear is good to stop us going back, you don't want to terrify yourself over what you may or may not do. The future is not something we can predict (though we can decide to be sober despite what it may hold) and your past is done. Try not to burden your present with anxieties over the future. You don't have to be afraid of what you will do, because you can DECIDE what you will do. You are in control

unrelenting

yeah, i actually have a friend who goes to AA. i would be terrified to go myself, but it's helped her so much that i think going with her would make it a lot easier.

and i also just realized yesterday...two years ago on friday, i had a very serious suicide attempt...and really bad overdose. i was in a coma for weeks and actually died for about four minutes i guess? i actually wasn't really thinking about it at all until my friend reminded me about it. i guess that's a good thing though? i was so happy focusing on the fact that i've been sober for a month and what not, trying to be positive about that, that some of the negative memories i usually have sort of temporarily left my mind for a bit...

DeepBreath2012

Welcome and huge congrats on a month sober; that's a stupendous accomplishment. Finding SR has been a Godsend for me as I don't have any family at all and no friends that know the depths of my struggles. This community is a beautiful collection of strong and wise souls. When you feel weak, come on here and read and post. There is ALWAYS someone willing to offer support, which is pretty amazing. Welcome and stay strong!

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR Unrelenting

I'm glad you have supportive friends, that's ace. But you're right, it does help to have other people to talk to who are in the same boat. I really hope you check out AA, I can't think of a more supportive environment.

One of the best things I started doing was keeping a journal, specifically to keep a track of my moods. Just the act of writing things down seems to help though.

Glad you're here x

Sapling

I would definitely take advantage of that...I was terrified and I went by myself.....And it's helped me so much too.