ca3726

It's been a couple of months since I've been on SR and I was doing pretty good. Not. Completely sober but I had cut down a lot and started working out. I was feeling good. Then Monday happened. It was my birthday And I went to a friends house to drink. I knew it was a bad idea. Several people from work were there and I drank way too much, blacked out and had to be driven home. I don't remember much. The next morning I drank more to ease the hangover and anxiety I was feeling. I went to work where everyone was talking about how much I had drank the night before. I got really sick and developed a migraine and had to get a friend to bring me home. I couldn't sleep at all last night and had to call in to work again today with a migraine. I love my job and my kids and my life so much that I don't know why I'm doing this to myself. I'm scared that everyone is figuring out that I have a serious problem. I don't know who to trust with this or what to do. But I know I am now willing to do anything to never drink again. Any advice? I'm feeling very lost.

Sapling

A bottom is when you stop digging....I'd stop today...Going to an AA meeting and committing myself to working that program worked for me...That's what I was willing to do.

sugarbear1

Alcoholics Anonymous (A. A.) Meetings in New Mexico

Never alone anymore!

ReadyAndAble

Hi, ca3726.

I'm sorry to hear about that. One thing I discovered is that cutting back didn't work—it just made me more miserable, trying to control it, and of course often failing and waking up to those waves of regret.

I found there was no middle ground. No way to be "less addicted." I was either drinking or I wasn't—the amount and frequency didn't matter. I had to make a clean break, once and for all.

Trust yourself. Look around SR and elsewhere—there are a variety of options. AA, SMART, LifeRing—many ways to go. I relied mainly on SR to quit at first, then adopted a technique called AVRT to cement my recovery. We have discussions about that in the Secular Connections forum of SR. There are many options, and you will meet advocates of them all here—the key is to find the right one for you.

That's the most important thing—you're half way there already.

Not at all. Looks to me like you're headed in the right direction—just keep moving forward and don't let any doubts get in your way. You can end the cycle, and you'll be really glad you did.

SeekSobriety

Write a note to yourself on why you want to stop
Drinking. Keep a copy of the note with you and refer often to it as a reminder to stop drinking. What saved me was taking that 1st step of attending A AA meeting and introducing myself to others, and taking advice from someone there who had the sobriety and kind of life that I wanted to have. We are not alone! People there know exacty what it is like and what it takes to get sober and turn things around.

This may be our only chance we have to get sober, think of this as a moment of clarity. You can find a local AA meetig by goole searching AA and your city name. There are even phone meetings and on line meetings if you have no in person meetings nearby.

There are other recovery groups available as well but I have found AA to be the most accessible for me.

"It works if you work it"

SoberForMySon

You might want to look into the various programs. AA is one, but if that isn't for you, there's others. Keep posting here. Join our class of September for tons and tons of support!!!! We will embrace you and encourage you day and night.

JohnnyOneDay

CA,
I agree with Sapling and sugarbear. I hit my physical, emotional, and spiritual bottom in July, and went to a counselor who immediately sent me to AA, said "... 90 meetings in 90 days...".
Well, today I'm on 43 days sober. Been to average of 1 meeting/day (some days 0, some days 2.) I could not do this on my own... I know that for sure!! It works if you work it! I was scared when I first went to AA, not knowing what to expect, but very quickly I felt welcomed and loved.

You can do this!!!

Sapling

That's committing yourself to it...Nice job on 43 days sober!

ca3726

Thank you all for your advice. I want to try AA again. I've been a few times but it didn't stick. And I just made an appt with a Dr. I'm going to ask her about getting rid of this migraine but I'm also going to be honest about my drinking. That is something I've never done so I'm very nervous. I did tell a counselor once about a year ago and she was supportive bur it didn't really help. I have to commit to sobriety completely before something really bad happens.

SoberForMySon

Good job ca!!! Hope to see you in our September thread. We happen to be an awesome group and you'd only add more fun! Lots of us have kids too, so we know about that part of it. Hang in there. Better times are waiting.

Sapling

It's OK to nervous...But be totally honest...They can't help you if you're not....You'll feel a hell of a lot better when you do. See if you can get to a meeting and don't drink today....Keep it simple. Don't overthink it....It's probably where the headache is coming from...Glad you're here ca!!

ca3726

I'm going to be honest. I need help. Everyone around me either thinks my drinking isn't a big deal, or they don't know because I hide it. My sister who is my best friend in the world thinks I should be able to control it and drink normally, but I can't. My kids hate it when I drink. I know I can do this. I just need a little help. You guys have already made me feel better. Thanks!

heath480

Sorry you are struggling Ca,hope you can get to an AA meeting as soon as possible.

Wishing you well.

Sapling

That's all that counts...I was the same way...And I'll tell you something...When I went to AA...For the first time in my life....I said that...And I got more help than I thought was possible.

lucylestrange

All I can add is some more support....I'm only a week in, but I cannot express how much better I feel. Physically, mentally, emotionally....hang in there, it gets better!!!!

Sapling

I have to go to a meeting right now myself ca...Maybe I can help someone like you...Hang in there...And don't drink today!

sobrietygrl4

Hitting bottom is when things get worse faster than you can lower your standards. Everyone's bottom can hit at a different time. You don't have to get any lower than this. SR is wonderful - I can honestly say that this has been my greatest resource and I have been sober for over a week for the first time in about four years (and the only reason I was sober then was because I was pregnant).

You can do this!

Dee74

Welcome back ca

some great advice here - I know it's scary but remember you can stop the slide.
We get out of our recovery what we put into it.

The more effort you put in to staying sober the safer you'll be, and hopefully feel, too

D

Hevyn

Proud of you, ca - for owning up to what's going on and wanting to fix it. You'll avoid so much misery and chaos by kicking that stuff out of your life. It doesn't sound like it's the least bit fun for you anymore. It's become dangerous and unpredictable.

We know you can get sober and have a great life, free from all that drama. Keep talking to us.

michelle01

Reach out for some help, emergency help/intervention if need be. That's what I had to resort to at times because I couldn't seem to trust my own actions and I was frankly scared. It does get easier to manage these episodes after awhile and to discern what triggers them off.