Whiteirony

Some of you may know that my RAH is in the hospital with pneumonia right now. His Dr said yesterday that he was ok from a lung standpoint but that there were other issues regarding his thyroid that came up. We've been trying to find a reason for his interstitial lung disease and the thyroid may be the answer. An endocrinologist will be seeing him today...so I'm really excited that we may have discovered the cause for his medical problems over the past year.

I went to see him this morning and thought he would be in good spirits knowing we may have an answer but instead I walk in with our 2 year old to find him half stoned and barely able to keep his eyes open. Turns out he's been getting morphine, oxycodone, ativan and sleeping pills. His history has been narcotic abuse along with alcohol. He's been sober since April. I don't get it!! He's supposed to be coming home today and thought he would be taking more of an initiative to get out but instead he sits there with nothing to say.

On a side note, I'm an RN and he's on the same floor that I work on so all of my coworkers have been taking care of him.

It seems to be so complicated yet so simple. If I knew I had addictive tendencies towards narcotics, I would tell the Dr not to order them so I wouldn't be tempted to take them. After about an hour, I looked at him and said I couldn't stand to see him like this and that it was too hard. It brought me back to how he was at home just 5 months ago when he was shooting up heroin (half opened eyes, constricted pupils and mumbled speech).

I feel like he deserves to have someone who can be a little more supportive, which I want to be, but when I see him like that, I get angry and don't care anymore. When will he STOP playing the victim role????

seek

I am sorry for your pain, but furious at the hospital and doctors in NOT ASKING for his addictive history before prescribing medications. I think it's a crime that doctors are not held more accountable in the willy-nilly use of addictive drugs for everything under the sun.

m1k3

Wow, tough question. The answer is pretty much when he's ready to. I found that when I started to work on myself and my recovery and my sanity that is when I started to get better and quit worrying about why my wife isn't doing the things I think she should be doing. One of the biggest things I learned here is the 3 c's.

I didn't cause it.
I can't control it.
I can't cure it.

Once I accepted that I put down her problems, they weren't mine to work on anyway, and felt a huge sense of relief, like a giant weight had been removed from my shoulders. I don't need to understand why she does what she does for my happiness. As they say in the rooms, happiness is an inside job.

If you are not going to Alanon I strongly recommend it. For me it was a life saver. I have moved from a very dark place to somewhere much better. It's not all sunshine and puppies but it is so much better than where I was.

Your friend,

BlueSkies1

It was his responsibility to tell the doctor that he can't take narcotics. Not the doctor's responsbility. He alone has to guard his own recovery, and he has fallen off the wagon.

I sympathize with you as I know this has created you pain. He took what could have been a good trip to the hospital to find out what is causing his issues, and turned it into a legally perscribed relapse...ugh.

That being known, Mlk is right...distance yourself from the things you have no power over. Take that weight off your shoulders. I know it is so difficult smetimes!