LaceUp

so...about a year ago I realized my drinking was out of control and I needed to stop. Since then I've had periods of sobriety. One week, six weeks, two months. Nothing longer.

Well I've read (here and numerous places) about what people call triggers to drink. Ranging from their crying baby, to a bachelor party they have to attend, or the holidays, or issues with their family...
is it just me but these are not my trigger to drink at all? I can pretty easily calm down from these things by sitting outside on my deck.

My major major downfall has been... once I get a certain amount of days/weeks, I start to think... clearly there is no alcohol problem, I obviously have no chemical dependence, and it's time to enjoy one drink when I go out to eat. It's like I completely forget about the two weeks I spent in bed in sheer misery while I was drying out. Also, I am able to have one drink the first time I drink. It takes about one or two weeks for me to slip back into my full alco mode, so I get that extra time for me to fool myself.

I'm just curious, because I'm reading about people who cope to deal with the stress etc, and I'm trying to look for that in me... I have to be honest I just don't think it applies. If anything I think my drinking really escalated when I got divorced and got my own job making good money, because I was on my own, with nobody to "tell me what to do".... nobody to see how I was spending my money or see me hung over.

I'm just curious if anyone else can relate to me. I've read so many stories (don't even start me about that Intervention show, it's a guilty pleasure) about people drinking to cope with trauma or stress....
I can never find any trigger for going back to alcohol other than some thought process in my mind that says, go for it, you're in the clear, it was a false alarm. You only thought you were an alcoholic but you're not.

Anyone else?

Sapling

They've been talking about this for awhile.

Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

bb pg 30

DayTrader

I dig your post. It mirrors my thoughts. I'll go a step further tho - there's only ONE trigger if you be alcoholic.

That trigger is "not drinking."

When I "didn't drink" long enough.....something would occur and I'd go back to drinking. It could have been good day at work, bad day at work, or maybe just he thought that i over reacted and should be safe to drink again.

Alcoholism is a tricky deal and it'll use aaaaaanything to get me back to my next drink.

Sooo, if "not drinking" is my trigger.....and I'm trying to live a life where I don't drink anymore......then I better find a PERMANENT solution to alcoholism - one that doesn't require me to be vigilant, always I guard, and always mindful if my drinking, one that doesn't require I be on the lookout for my alcoholism talking to me - because my experience has shown me that alcoholism will out smart me and circumvent all those great roadblocks I erect.

Luckily, there IS a permanent solution.

DBW

Everything was a trigger for me. Good day, bad day, bored, entertained. Party, traveling, 4am? Didn't matter it was reason enough. It's only day 2 for me, and i'm already negotiating with myself. "Maybe when Christmas comes around.". "Maybe when I have a real reason to celebrate.". But how can I properly identify those times when every day was a reason to celebrate? I think the biggest trigger you can have is when you're faced with that decision just keep telling yourself NO.

Sapling

I look at triggers as excuses....That's all they really are. Something you put in your mind to leave the door open for you to drink....For me to drink is to die...I know it will kill me....No excuse for that.

MrsKing

I drank because I was happy, stressed, sad, bored, lonely, tired, angry, scared. Whatever reason I could think of, I'd use it as a reason to drink. I think much of the time when people say 'I drink because of ___' it's an excuse. I'm only saying that because I did it, too. I didn't drink because of ___, I drank because I wanted to drink and I wanted to be drunk. So, probably, all those people who you're comparing yourself to are probably just the same as you, they just have had something happen to them that they can use to justify their drinking. The way I look at it is that not everyone who has had past trauma drinks, so past trauma can't in itself be a definite reason for why people drink too much.

So many people get caught by the 'I can have one or two now' thoughts. I found that through deciding I will never drink again and believe that to be true without a doubt, those thoughts don't pester me. It's really rather liberating to say the 'never' word and believe it... all thoughts and fears about future drinking totally disappears.

Fallow

I never felt I had triggers either. Totally relate to your post.

Basically I just drank when I felt like it.

Sometimes I only felt like having 2 beers too.

Then other times I felt like getting bombed.

Its too dangerous to let my whims guide me anymore though.

doggonecarl

That's not a trigger. That's just the delusional thinking of a drinker.

Any thinking that seeks to derail your recovery is your addiction. There are events, situations, so-called triggers that often prompt the thoughts, but it all comes down to thinking you should drink.

Lost3000

Interesting topic, thanks for posting OP. I agree with the others. Although my first thought was, well, how long has this person been sober? Try stop drinking long enough and then tell me you don't have triggers. If the longest you've been sober is two months, I doubt you've given yourself long enough time to know what a trigger is. They aren't exactly in your face either. I'm a little over 8 months sober and for me, the urge to drink is very subtle. For me to recognize it, and confront it, takes a great amount of effort and thought.

In my first 2 months, I was still quite hazy. Now, I'm not a down and out bottom drunk either. I work a professional, full-time job. I have a husband, a house, a great salary. I never drank in the middle of the day, only after 5-ISH. But still, when I quit, I realized just how hazy my thinking is. It still is to some extent.

When I think of triggers, I think of things that bring on urges. For me, it's the old HALT acronym. Too hungry, angry, lonely, tired. The strongest trigger for me is hunger. I think that's a physiological reaction.

Someone in my AA mtgs talks a lot about how she suffers from superiority feelings. It's really held her back. She often thinks, oh, I'm not as bad as these people. And that leads her right back to a drink. It's not a trigger, she just prefers to think she's not one of us.

NoelleR

I don't do triggers, at least when that applies to alcohol/drugs; as someone earlier said, they're just excuses. The only trigger I know of is/was Roy Rogers' horse.

(o:
NoelleR

Dee74

Like others have said thinking that I'd overreacted and I actually didnt have a problem was very common for me too, LaceUp - I was in that cycle for a good ten, 15 years or more....

Like Carl said, I don't think that's a trigger per se - it sounds like the normal alcoholic delusional thinking to me?

D

sugarbear1

Only an alcoholic obsesses over whether to drink or not, no matter how long it's been between drinks. Non-alcoholics don't bother thinking about drinking or not.

onlythetruth

You may not have triggers, but many of us don't. I can't say I did. I just drank, that was how it was.

You do, though, have a pretty typical AV (addictive voice). What's that, you ask? That's the part of you saying that you aren't really an alcoholic, so it's okay to drink.

NoFireWater

I figure if you were worried you're an alcoholic, and you found your way to SR, and you felt like your drinking was out of control, then you're very similar to the rest of the people here. We all hear that inner voice convincing us that we're not that bad, we can drink moderately,etc. I know for me, that's not true. If I could moderate, I would have never have found this site, would never have needed to search to even know about it.

Alcoholism is progressive, and it's great if you catch it before it takes over your life completely. You might want to think about what makes you start to drink again if you're sober for months at a time. That might give you a clue as to your triggers. You also say you were in bed for two weeks drying out-that indicates some heavy use and physical dependency since you were going through withdrawals. You don't want to get to the stage where you're drinking during the day, hiding it from people, being hospitalized from the effects, etc.

I find it helpful to think about what gives me the urge to drink, because I can better "ride it out". For me, there were many things that brought out the
urge to drink, good day at work, windy and restless weather, bad day with taking care of my mom, days that ended in y...you get the picture.

It's great you're here, you're working on it, and trying to avoid your "full alco mode"

mirrorman

I have never had anything too terrible happen, work a good job, family that puts up with my drinking, so no eureka moment. But now I think about the money I have drank away - through my life I could have bought a friggin house - the emotional detachment , the love and Kodak moments I have denied my family and loved ones, some times at work where I lost my cool that were probably tied to my drinking and emotional state at some level....it all adds up to something pretty significant when I stop to think about it.

DisplacedGRITS

i still find myself occasionally letting that thought worm into my head. "when i hit a year sober, i should be able to start drinking on occasion. just a beer or two!" you have to start recognizing that as a huge warning sign. it means you need to stop what you're doing and work on your sobriety right then. do not delay. get over here and start reading threads about people's first day, first week, relapses. go back and read your threads where you relapsed and came back. remind yourself that there is no elusive "one or two beers." not for any significant period of time. you're an alcoholic. and that's ok. it's like you're lactose intolerant. sure you can physically drink alcohol but buddy, you're going to pay for it more than a normal person would. reflect on sobriety and on what it means. it's not just about not drinking. it's about a new lifestyle. a happier and healthier one. one where you can hold your head up high and have pride that you are not at the beck and call of alcohol. respect your warning signs. they happen for a reason. to keep you from blindly falling back into the drink. if you heed them, you can spare yourself a lot of misery and learn how to cope better with cravings.