Gabriel

Hello everyone,

I have been on this site since around September/October of last year but mostly post in my blog. I am trying to reach out this year to those of you in this remarkable community.

I feel that I am still new to sobriety since I was clean for two months and then fell of the wagon. My question is, how do those of you, who have more than two months of sobriety under your belt, maintain the energy you need?

Most times, when I relapse (as I did last Thursday), I start again with a lot of vigor but after two weeks, it seems to just disappear. Any and all suggestions are greatly appreciated. I currently go to meetings for alcoholism but when I get 'weak' or have a lack of energy, I find that remaining sober gets very hard when I need that same stamina to fights cravings that appear out of nowhere and are very extreme.

Thanks for everything! ~G.

MightyMung

The mistakes i've made are:

- Not renewing my vow to sobriety daily
- Deciding one day I can control my drinking (arrogance/complacency)
- Deliberately putting myself in situations where drinking is the only option (self-deception)

I can't really talk about my "success" yet, since i've only got two days under my belt (this time). However, these are the things I need to address, so I just thought i'd share them in case you could find any helpful parallels. I feel that if I can manage to tackle these issues, i'll be well on my way to sobriety.

Hope this helps, and good luck!

Gabriel

This does help because I have not renewed my vow to remain sober on a daily basis and also, I have been hit by arrogance thinking I could have alcohol in my home. I do not now nor can I. Two days is great! You're on your way to a better life and I'm here to join you. You have brought up some great points that I will think about tonight.

Best wishes,
~G.

hypochondriac

Hi Gabriel

Maintaining energy I need is a funny one for me because I am still very lethargic and lack motivation. But as far as my sobriety goes, as time has passed I have actually had to add layers to my support. In a way I have had to work harder as time has passed, most noticeably after 3 months. When I am feeling run down and tempted to drink I find that doing something, anything positive towards my sobriety really helps, even if I feel like I don't need it anymore!

bbthumper

I am assuming the meetings you attend are AA? Sorry if I'm wrong about that.
Anyways, the magic in AA happens when you get active. Both in the fellowship and most importantly the steps. I have found that as long as I work the program, the steps, not only do I not lack stamina, but I need not use it to fight urges to drink. The program, the steps, gets you free of that. Do you have a sponsor with whom you can work the steps?

Gabriel

Hi Hypo and BB, thanks for your comments.

Hypo, you used the word lethargic and that's how I feel after staying away from the bottle. It is the appropriate word for me. Oddly enough, I had a lot more motivation when I drank and seemed unstoppable. Now I am having to live life differently and I think your suggestion about doing something positive will aid me in the near future.

BB, I should have put AA in there. I am just now starting to go. During the middle of July, I checked myself into an outpatient program and I know you are right...I need a sponsor to work the steps. My brain feels as if it needs to grab a hold of everything immediately when in fact, I need to take my time. I cannot change 15 years of drinking over night and now that I have admitted to myself and to others that I am powerless, becoming actively involved is taking on a new meaning for me. It's more than just showing up and spouting a few words and I pray to be able to do as you and work the program to the fullest.

Finally, I am finding that reading helps me to do something productive and get my mind off of drinking. Any good books of recovery that anyone can mention would be helpful.

Thanks everyone!

sugarbear1

I read that alcohol is a depressant and for those who don't suffer from alcoholism, alcohol makes a person tired. For us who drink regularly, alcohol tends to act as a stimulant for us. I know this first hand.

I was very tired in early sobriety, for me that was almost 9 months of time. I had the ability to nap, though, which helped me to heal. I have over 15 months now and my energy level has balanced out more, although I still enjoy my naps, when I can get them.

Our bodies have been seriously taken over by alcohol. We have to give our bodies and brains time to heal.

Be gentle on yourself. When you have that vigor, try to taper it a bit. Conserve your energy. Keep as balanced as you can (that is really hard for me to do).

I worked the steps of AA, they saved me from myself. Daily routines needed to be kept, little things at first, then I kept adding more to my life. It was okay not to have a sparkling home for a little while. Learning how to keep an even, to stay in the moment, to move forward with my commitment to staying stopped, it was all new and it's a process of change.

You can stay stopped, too! One little baby step at a time.

With love & hugs,

freshstart57

AVRT shows you how to accept that the urges of your addiction will happen, but in a way that you know you will never act on them. They come and go, but there is no battle or struggle required. White knuckles and things that require willpower have always been my downfall, I never could hold out for very long, but I have been sober with AVRT for 13 months now. I recommend it.

sugarbear1

there's a forum on books on the bottom (scroll down from the newcomers forum)

xa-speakers.org to listen to speaker tapes helped me to fall asleep and stop the noise in my head

I wish you a fabulous sober journey!

Gabriel

Hello hello,

well I beat my urges to drink today and it's thanks to the positive reinforcement I have received here.

Freshstart, I just looked up AVRT (Addictive Voice) and found a crash course here: Rational Recovery | The Crash Course On AVRT
Is this your recommendation of where to begin. I also saw AVRT mentioned earlier, in another posting.

Sugarbear, I have been trying to create more balance in my life since it has either gone way left field or way right field...never centered. One of the most important things I can do for myself is ignore the "should have", "could have" thoughts. The past is just that and today was another good day. I will take those baby steps you mentioned rather than beating myself up and also look at the list of books and speakers.

Thanks! ~G.

Dee74

Hi Gabriel

I'm not a good finisher either...about the only thing I ever kept up with was playing guitar and that's a pretty good analogy for recovery....

No one is born with stamina - we have to work at it.

I started off practising all day everyday, every moment I could, all fired up...but soon the motivation gets a little less...life intrudes, your fingers hurt...

a lot of people fall by the wayside at this point - I really wanted - I *needed* to play guitar.

I made myself practice, everyday - I didn't let myself slacken...I lost myself in the music I was making, so it seemed like less of a chore...and every siccess I had spurred me on a little more.

I think recovery's a lot like that...if you want to change your life, if you want to sing a different song, you need to put in the effort.

You'll get out of your recovery exactly what you put in.

Logging in here daily is a great way to keep you focused

D

Gabriel

I really love your analogy. I want to and most importantly, need to change my life so therefore, effort just has to come into play. Yes, I have started a lot of things and by this point I have an oven with about 100 back burners =) Slowly, as Sugarbear said, I will add more 'details' into my life but I think one of the problems I have had with stamina is trying to do too much at once. I admire your determination for wanting to play the guitar and will use this analogy somewhere down my path to sobriety.

I know I can do this, it's just getting the information I need so that when I do feel like quitting, I can arm myself with some great resources. Otherwise, sobriety is not going to knock on my door or now-a-days, send me an email or facebook request to get clean.

~G.

duane1

The advice and wisdom of this board helped me to identify my Alcoholic Voice. Once I identified it and saw it for what it was worth, quitting became much more manageable.
I used practicing/playing the guitar and running/exercise to get rid of the uneasiness and restlessness. Both were great for reducing stress, giving me self esteem and a feeling of accomplishment.

Dee74

Don't overthink the task either

Not wanting to twang my own strings, lol but I actually ended up a professional muso...I was born with cerebral palsy.

I really believe we can do anything if we set our mind to it

At the basics, all we need to do is not drink.
It may not be easy - but it is pretty simple.

To make it easier you can do other things tho...make changes in your life - think about where you're going and what you're doing...I found it good to have a healthy respect for my addiction - running off to a beer festival or something is probably something best avoided

think about ways, ahead of time, to deal with those situations that 'trigger' you - strategise and have 'escape plans'....and find and use as much support as you can...

This technique was useful for me with cravings
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

you can do this Gabriel

D

blueshades

Gabriel, I loved Dee's analogy too. It makes me want to dust off that guitar and start playing again. Best wishes to you, friend. You can do this!

bbthumper

You're right. It doesnt happen overnight, but it doesnt have to take long either. I was freed from the obsession to drink within weeks of starting the steps. THe sooner you start the better.
Tons of good recovery literature out there. My only suggestion to a newcomer is the Big Book. That's personal opinion though.
Best wishes.

freshstart57

The Rational Recovery website is indeed a good place to start, Gabriel. I can also point you to Sober Recovery's Secular Connections forum where there is a lot of discussion of alternatives to 12 Step recovery, including AVRT, SMART, SOS and others. Just like the other SR forums, you will receive a lot of support and any questions you have get quick answers. There is a long running thread with over 2500 posts from people just like you who are interested in AVRT. Here is a post from the Secular Connections forum that you might find useful. AVRT Explained.

Any means you choose to get and stay sober will require your desire and commitment, just like mastering the guitar. You won't regret your decision. Best to you, Gabriel.

Gabriel

BlueShades, what's stopping you from getting that guitar back out and playing it?

Dee, I looked at the article of urge surging. FreshStart mentioned AVRT and your article, Dee, seems to make a good connection in realizing the urges, where they are affecting me (mind, body, spirit) and how they are waves that will eventually pass. I am guilty of having had some terrible cravings and just sitting on my hands, praying that they would go away. Urge surfing also reminds me of a book I am reading called, "The Zen of Recovery", by Mel Ash. He mentions how mindfulness plays a very key role in knowing where cravings come from and how to accept them and move forward. So, thank you for sharing those articles. They will keep me busy!

BB, I have the Big Book and will definitely dig into it. I need to start working these steps because you're right, this doesn't have to take forever.

FreshStart, thanks for the new links. All in all, everyone has given me something to move forward and strengthen my will power to quit this. I woke up this morning reaffirming my dedication to remain sober and know that I will have to continue on my routine to make this work.

Wishing all of you the best! ~G.

YVRguy

FWIW , I start my day with writing in my journal , yes actual pen and paper. I get what's on my mind out on the paper and it always includes a daily goal of staying sober. That seems to help me not only keep sobriety in mind but also to have the dialogue in my head out so I can see it.

Whatever method(s) you choose to gain sobriety, it will take work. I like aspects of many of them and use any and all information I can. Since I did not arrive here overnight , its not going to be solved overnight and its not some rosy perfect world at the end but perhaps one where I am less confused , less afraid, less lonely and more at peace in. Sure as heck my life with alcohol is anything but peace but living with fear , confusion , loneliness , despair and more.

I try and stick to some sort of schedule as well with other things just to make things simple right now as I don't have much clean time in yet. KISS is my motto right now and that way I don't get overwhelmed with a pile of stuff. That would threaten the number one goal , staying sober.

The usual things for me to get clean time is to ensure I eat properly , rest as my body tells me , get out and do something simple ( go to a meeting e.g. for me), avoid people/place/things I know are trouble and the like. I know my body is worn out from the last binges but will recover in a few weeks. The mind, thinking and the way of life has to really change to sustain my sobriety.

Gabriel

I understand the feelings you have mentioned of fear, confusion, loneliness and despair. I'm slowly realizing that it takes a lot of work and stamina to make sobriety work for me and I was glossing over that. I do write in a journal but at night in order to ease my racing thoughts. I think I will try to write in it during the morning, which means getting up early, and throughout the day/night. Great point! Once the alcohol has worn off, life isn't so peachy but it sure is a lot better than being worried about things I may have done and cannot remember...peace, that's what I want!