auden67

My dad came back from a weekend of visiting our old neighbors. He told me the wife, a really sweet and fiesty woman as I remember her, spent the majority of the weekend sitting in her garage, smoking and drinking by herself. I saw the same thing when I visited them a few years ago. She emerges at some point obviously drunk, and heads to bed early. She has a loving husband, a good job, two good older kids. No bottom rung here, but obviously missing out on much.

It made me really sad because I recognized the compulsive isolation. I recognized it in my mom before she quit drinking, and also in myself before I quit. I used to sit on my back steps and drink and smoke all night, sometimes from the moment I got home and watched videos on my phone. It was sometimes comfortable just to hide away from the world. My mom did it for years and years, ruining her marriage and damaging her relationship with her kids.

It's just another reminder how subtle but terrible the effects of addiction can be. The compulsion to lock yourself away. It doesn't have to be losing everything - it can just be keeping you from gaining more. Good lesson for those thinking the bottom hasn't fallen out.

Hugs and good thoughts to all the newbies, wanna-bes and old timers at SR!

SoberForMySon

So true. I hide my drinking, so naturally I isolate myself a lot. And that sucks!!!!!

MightyMung

I can definitely relate. I used to drink in my room when I couldn't find drinking buddies, justifying it by saying "i'm depressed and need a drink". Of course, I wasn't "depressed" - I had just failed to find drinking buddies and wanted another excuse to drink.

Obviously it is really sad to see, but everyone has to make their own decision to recover. Unfortunately too many people never feel the need to change, despite ruining the lives of others on their quest for oblivion. We all know how lonely it is before the light switches on and we attempt to change our ways; we can only hope that she sees the light one day and takes steps to make those positive changes.

hypochondriac

So true. I was practically agoraphobic before I quit drinking. I didn't feel safe unless I was drinking at home alone. Alone because I couldn't drink properly if I had visitors. I had to stop doing certain social things because I would suffer from panic attacks. And of course I couldn't drink like I wanted to when I was out because I was scared people would judge me. I had to isolate myself to maintain any semblance of normality. From the outside everything looked fine... I still managed to get to work and some of my more recent friends still think I was never really a drinker. I did a good job covering it all up.