kmnotreal

Hello,

New here. I had attended Al-Anon before. My husband is an alcoholic. 18 beers a day, chronic runs. I'm turning to alcohol and don't like it. I'm home today due to a bad evening, got angry at him and told him off, now I'm the one home and wondering if I need to leave. His physician wanted to send him to a detox center last summer. That was when he decided to get counseling, but the counseling didn't work. I don't know which tactic to take to keep our marriage, to get him healthy, and keep me healthy. Help!

Huey

If you're husband has recognition of his alcoholism, why won't he try AA or another structured program of recovery ?
Perhaps it'd be beneficial for you to seek further support at Al-Anon.

kmnotreal

This is a question I posed and the answer is ''just one more person I can't please". He is so successful in what he does professionally but no longer finds joy in that or most anything unless he's trashed. He doesn't realize people know he has a big problem and it could cost him his job as well as his family.

Happier

I'm sorry for your struggles. Have you checked out the "Friends and Family" forum yet?
I think you will find a lot of others that are going through have gone through very similar situations.
You are not alone. Hope you find the help and the peace that you seek.

Sapling

I've been there....And that's what it cost me. I had to lose everything to be ready to walk through the doors of AA. My advice to you would be this.....Take care of yourself. I had counceling also at my ex wifes request....It didn't work for me either....Nothing would have worked for me because I wasn't ready. And nobody was going to tell me any different....Sorry if this sounds harsh...But such was my life.

IndaMiricale

True for this alcoholic also, nobody and nothing was going to make me stop until I had enough of me..

I was one of those that lost everything I had for years also. Home, car,love, freedom, ect. But this clown had to finish his own act..

AA taught me how to live a life full of joy and happiness without alcohol..

You can only save you..

kmnotreal

What kills me is that it is changing my behavior. Last night after doing all the chores while he slept it off, I drank a bottle, a bottle of wine. I washed the dog, washed the car after going to the dump. Pulled the car in, left my purse locked in the trunk. Fixed dinner, he was drinking again and not hungry. I went off on him, then drank the bottle of wine. Irony here, he drove off to work and my keys were in the purse. I'm the one home due to the drink! I've been here before, first marriage ended due to abusive alcoholic! I'm embarassed. He didn't drink like this when we met. Starting to think I'm driving him to it. I've done the alanon and get he is responsible. He's such an incredible person when he's sober. Handsome, crazy smart, funny, and so good hearted.

dorito281211

If he IS an alcoholic you are NOT driving him to it-alcoholics drink cause they are alcoholics. I suggest AA for him and if you have a desire to stop drinking (the only thing required for AA membership) that you go to AA as well, especially if your drinking is bothering you. I am also a big fan of counseling, but FIRST he (and maybe you) NEED sobriety.

Keep at it, there are so many paths for success, remember: "we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, POWERFUL! Without help it is too much for us"