Daisy1981

So here goes.....

Last Monday I decided would be the last time I would ever drink again (this happens quite regularly and fails regularly too). Anyway after seeing a man od at work i decided I deserved a drink, strange hey you would think a heroin od might put me off but no i needed alcohol. So I got some wine and 2 bottles later got some vodka. Well that was it I was on 1 and decided to go out on my own as my partner refused to come due to me being so wasted. From that point I have no memory and apparently came home an hour and half later and passed out.

Thats just one of many awful stories which all end with me regretting drinking, feeling awful and ful of terror and dread and vowing never to touch the evil alcohol again. Clearly I fail. I can see things getting bad around me, I'm so moody, I'm running less and less which I love and seriously need to stop.

I dont drink every day it's usually 2 to 3 times a week, thats has slowly increased from every Friday. I know I cannot drink normally trust me I have tried. Any help or advice would be much much appreciated :-/

DarkDays

Advice . Yes Stop right this second stay stopped and watch things improve.

THis forum helped me to stop poisoning myself with alcoHELL.

Good luck.

Daisy1981

I so want to do that, the carvings I get are so bad. Its like they are all consuming and I cant do anything else but think about drinking.

sugarbear1

Have you considered a rehab? Being away from the source for a while and being educated about alcoholism might help you.

Glad you found SR!

Dee74

Hi Daisy - welcome

I found being a part of a community like this really helped me with those cravings - I really appreciated having an alternative to having to go out and buy that bottle. I wasn't alone anymore.

When I tried, I found I could get through the cravings - it wasn't pleasant, but made it

You might find real life support is useful too. Would you be open to a recovery programme, or counselling?

Even seeing your Dr can be a good first step

Glad to have you with us

D

DarkDays

Pretty standard, I still get intense cravings every now and then...just see them for what they are cravings, yep cravings ! They wont harm you , just ride them out, do anything you have to..stare at a ceiling and be bored, just let them pass.

Theres plenty of stuff on these forums about cravings.

Good luck.

Daisy1981

Thanks for your replies

I dont think I need rehab or maybe I do? I have not drank since Friday and I'm ok at the min as I am working loads until Saturday so should be fine. It's the minute I have a day off or start work late that the cravings start. I do get them in the week however when I have work early I can manage to eat loads and go to bed early just dont seem to be able to that when I'm off.

Also honestly I know loads about alcohol and addictions that what I'm specialising in. Funny hey when I clearly have my own addiction :-/

hypochondriac

Well it can't hurt to have an addictions specialist hanging around here Welcome Daisy x

It sounds like getting sober would be good for your career then too?

Have you thought about getting support? x

Daisy1981

lol yes definetly be good for my career, I do hide things well though at the moment. Yeah I arranged to go to AA's 7 months ago but then backed out at the last minute. I live in such a small town I paniced. I do have the big book and I'm starting to read it.

My plan is so far to work a lot, when I'm off at the weekend run and go surfing. Hopefully this will tire me out. Learning about addictions is very different from experiencing them though as saying stop drinking is a lot easier than actually doing it as I'm sure you all know xx

instant

Sobriety is doable and a good way of life. Good luck

hypochondriac

Have you heard of AVRT (Rational Recovery) Daisy? I only ask because I see an addictions specialist and he hadn't heard of that one... Maybe you could facilitate some SMART meetings or something too? Help yourself while you're helping others Did you not want to go to AA because of your job? Do you think that it would be detrimental to you if people found out you were seeking help? x

Sapling

Take a look at this site...They talk about fear of AA. I got sober with AA and I was a hopeless drunk...I didn't think anything would work....It did. 14 months ago I had my last drink and currently have no desire for it. Living happily without alcohol....I needed support from people doing what I wanted...And to show me how they did it...Glad you are here Daisy...Good luck to you.

Your First AA Meeting<

MrsKing

Welcome to SR

Sounds a lot like me six months ago. I drank probably twice a month in the way you are describing, though I would have drank more if my husband didn't constantly tell me not to.

If you are finding that you cannot control how much you drink, if you drink even though you don't plan to, or if alcohol is causing major issues in your life then you probably would be better off being sober, and for that you've definitely come to right place. Ultimately, it falls on you to make that decision and put in the work, but we'll be here to support you if you need it.

Wishing you all the best x

freshstart57

You really can change this if you want to. After all, that alcohol isn't made appear in your house by some demon or devil, I think it's actually you that do it. This is good news, because this means then that you can choose not to do it instead. There will be no regrets from your choice to stop drinking. Believe in yourself and your ability, and do it!

BunnyJ

Hi Daisy!! From my experience there are lots of AA meeting around.. you may want to find one out of your town. I was in a small town and I didn't have any issues going to a meeting there.. but YMMV.

As for my advice.. and take it for what it's worth. Go see a Dr or councilor and see what they advise. You may have to go in-patient for detox/rehab.. or you may be able to do this out-patient. Let them help you decide.

Everybody is different and the treatment we need varies. As for AA... I say go to one meeting and see how it goes. You don't have to say anything ... all you have to do is be there and listen. Even if you leave early you made the effort and in my book that matters.

Good luck..
Jeff

Daisy1981

Thanks everyone for your advice I'll take it all on board. 5 days sober today and counting I'll check in after around the weekend when I know it's going to get hard x

Jimuk

Welcome Daisy, well done on 5 days. Hang in there ;-)

Jitterbugg

Hi Daisy,
I totally relate to you! I used get smashed at home...run out of booze...walk to the nearest bar alone and then wake up on the floor the next morning. My gf at the time probably had no idea I even left at all. Except, sometimes I would be bruised from either fighting or falling, so she suspected something. I could never really remember what i was doing.

Helbel

You can do it Daisy

MrsKing

My advice (having found weekends the tough part, too, at the beginning) is to fill your weekend with fun, sober activities that don't allow your mind to wander. Keeping busy doing things you enjoy is really important, I think.

You can do this! Good for you on those 5 days.