My Wish For A SR Community (Friends & Families of Alcoholics)
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Join Date: Sep 2011
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My Wish For A SR Community (Friends & Families of Alcoholics)
I have been positing regularly for a little while, but I don't really feel a part of the community. I desperately NEED a community, because I have no family support.
There are some awesome people on this forum AND I realized what is true for me is that I need to "see" the person . . .
I realize I can go to a profile and maybe there will be a picture (and probably not, due to the anonymity and the nature of what we are here for) . . .
The other thing I desperately desire in a community, is one that is focused on the good things . . . health, nature, beauty, inspiration . . .
I had this vision that the board was arranged so that you could get a feel for the person you are interacting with . . .that more of their essence could be present in the posts . . . pictures of them and their pets (again, I know that is probably not going to happen because of anonymity), their interests . . .the GOOD things in their lives . . .
Then, when we have to deal with the dramas and traumas, at least there is a fuller picture of the person - rather than this poor victim of an alcoholic . . .I detest being defined by the alcoholic and living in nothing but pain and sorrow . . .
So, I don't know what it is I am looking for . . .I guess, for me, I would love to really know people in this community and I don't know how to do that with the anonymity factor . . .
I just want to see a wider dimension of humanity - something more than "the problem" (even though that is why people come to the forum - to vent in frustration and pain) . . .
It would be good to have "Healing Rooms" maybe - where people talk about their healing journeys separate from "the alcoholic" . . .
The forum is overly problem focused - and I "get" why . . .it's just the nature of the 12 Step focus . . .I guess I am looking for something more holistic that encompasses a wider perspective than JUST the problem . . .
I am not complaining. Just saying what it is I am seeking for myself on my healing journey.
I'm not saying not to have places where people focus on problems, but it would be nice to just put the problems into a larger framework. I hope it is ok to suggest that.
As it is right now, I can't differentiate between actual human beings with rich lives . . .all I can imagine are these pathetic, broken people with terrible problems (and I realize that is one aspect of these journeys . . .but it is only one aspect . . .one, that might color everything for a time, but only one aspect . . ."This too shall pass.").
As I type this, I am overlooking my fall garden, leaves are falling, the sun is shining over a little seasonal creek that has hardly any water in it, but which will be raging in a few months.
My dog is asleep under my covers after eating his morning treat (he sneaks into his bed after eating his treat and takes a snooze, as if he NEEDS more sleep).
I lit candles and read from two inspirational books, said my morning prayers, and am getting started on my day, which my inner child is demanding be fun!
There are some awesome people on this forum AND I realized what is true for me is that I need to "see" the person . . .
I realize I can go to a profile and maybe there will be a picture (and probably not, due to the anonymity and the nature of what we are here for) . . .
The other thing I desperately desire in a community, is one that is focused on the good things . . . health, nature, beauty, inspiration . . .
I had this vision that the board was arranged so that you could get a feel for the person you are interacting with . . .that more of their essence could be present in the posts . . . pictures of them and their pets (again, I know that is probably not going to happen because of anonymity), their interests . . .the GOOD things in their lives . . .
Then, when we have to deal with the dramas and traumas, at least there is a fuller picture of the person - rather than this poor victim of an alcoholic . . .I detest being defined by the alcoholic and living in nothing but pain and sorrow . . .
So, I don't know what it is I am looking for . . .I guess, for me, I would love to really know people in this community and I don't know how to do that with the anonymity factor . . .
I just want to see a wider dimension of humanity - something more than "the problem" (even though that is why people come to the forum - to vent in frustration and pain) . . .
It would be good to have "Healing Rooms" maybe - where people talk about their healing journeys separate from "the alcoholic" . . .
The forum is overly problem focused - and I "get" why . . .it's just the nature of the 12 Step focus . . .I guess I am looking for something more holistic that encompasses a wider perspective than JUST the problem . . .
I am not complaining. Just saying what it is I am seeking for myself on my healing journey.
I'm not saying not to have places where people focus on problems, but it would be nice to just put the problems into a larger framework. I hope it is ok to suggest that.
As it is right now, I can't differentiate between actual human beings with rich lives . . .all I can imagine are these pathetic, broken people with terrible problems (and I realize that is one aspect of these journeys . . .but it is only one aspect . . .one, that might color everything for a time, but only one aspect . . ."This too shall pass.").
As I type this, I am overlooking my fall garden, leaves are falling, the sun is shining over a little seasonal creek that has hardly any water in it, but which will be raging in a few months.
My dog is asleep under my covers after eating his morning treat (he sneaks into his bed after eating his treat and takes a snooze, as if he NEEDS more sleep).
I lit candles and read from two inspirational books, said my morning prayers, and am getting started on my day, which my inner child is demanding be fun!
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,754
I'm sorry that all you see is pathetic broken people with horrible lives.
I don't see that at all. I see very rich, diverse, deeply compassionate people, with very rich , full hearts, and souls as deep as deep can be. I see people who are willing to be open and honest about the things that make them grow, spiritually, emotionally, mentally , and physically, no matter how much it hurts to share that pain. Just like all the wonderful joyful things in life that can be shared , the painful things need to be shared as well, it's what makes life full and rewarding.
I woke up this morning, had coffee, took my puppy to the dog park , watched to dogs play, had a few laughs with the wonderful people I have met there, came home, took a shower, did my morning meditation and am off to do some studying. Have a joyful day.
Katie
I don't see that at all. I see very rich, diverse, deeply compassionate people, with very rich , full hearts, and souls as deep as deep can be. I see people who are willing to be open and honest about the things that make them grow, spiritually, emotionally, mentally , and physically, no matter how much it hurts to share that pain. Just like all the wonderful joyful things in life that can be shared , the painful things need to be shared as well, it's what makes life full and rewarding.
I woke up this morning, had coffee, took my puppy to the dog park , watched to dogs play, had a few laughs with the wonderful people I have met there, came home, took a shower, did my morning meditation and am off to do some studying. Have a joyful day.
Katie
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: west coast
Posts: 1,068
Originally Posted by Katiekate 
I'm sorry that all you see is pathetic broken people with horrible lives.
I don't see that at all. I see very rich, diverse, deeply compassionate people, with very rich , full hearts, and souls as deep as deep can be. I see people who are willing to be open and honest about the things that make them grow, spiritually, emotionally, mentally , and physically, no matter how much it hurts to share that pain. Just like all the wonderful joyful things in life that can be shared , the painful things need to be shared as well, it's what makes life full and rewarding.
I woke up this morning, had coffee, took my puppy to the dog park , watched to dogs play, had a few laughs with the wonderful people I have met there, came home, took a shower, did my morning meditation and am off to do some studying. Have a joyful day.
Katie
I don't see that at all. I see very rich, diverse, deeply compassionate people, with very rich , full hearts, and souls as deep as deep can be. I see people who are willing to be open and honest about the things that make them grow, spiritually, emotionally, mentally , and physically, no matter how much it hurts to share that pain. Just like all the wonderful joyful things in life that can be shared , the painful things need to be shared as well, it's what makes life full and rewarding.
I woke up this morning, had coffee, took my puppy to the dog park , watched to dogs play, had a few laughs with the wonderful people I have met there, came home, took a shower, did my morning meditation and am off to do some studying. Have a joyful day.
Katie
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
I find that there are days when I crave being here, because people "get me" here.
I find that there are other days when the enormity of the problem of alcoholism in our society overwhelms me to the point of not wanting to come here. I become sad when almost every day, I can see several new people need this community.
What I've found is that the more time I spend here, the more I get to know the people behind the alcoholism. As with any relationship, it takes time. Some people share more than others. Some people, I relate to more than others.
I'm glad you've been able to put words to what you need, Seek. I think that's important. To me (I spend a lot of time on the Internet!), limited knowledge of the rest of people's lives isn't a problem -- but since it is to you, it's a good thing you've identified it and spoken that need. I'm sure there are other people here like you, who would like to know more.
I also know that that there anonymity thing is very important to people. Even the SR folks I've met in real life, we have very limited knowledge about each other.
And I think I understand what you mean when you say you only see people affected by alcoholism. You don't say we're "just that" -- you say you know every single person is so much more than that, and you wish we could know more about that side of each other.
I don't know what the solution is, because I think people share as much as they're comfortable with
Edited to add: Some more things about me? I'm working harder than I ever have in my life right now. I relax by cranking up the music in my headphones and lift heavy weights in the gym, or go for long walks in the woods or hikes in the mountains or bike rides on the trails. I wish I could have a dog, because I'd love to come home to someone who's always glad to see me whether or not I've had a crappy day and who always appreciates getting fed. I've got growing children and aging parents and live with a constant bad conscience because I don't feel that I'm ever doing enough for either. I've also concluded that I feel that way because I think both my children and my parents are incredible people who deserve everything, and that I need to accept that I cannot be everything.
And I love good food.
I find that there are other days when the enormity of the problem of alcoholism in our society overwhelms me to the point of not wanting to come here. I become sad when almost every day, I can see several new people need this community.
What I've found is that the more time I spend here, the more I get to know the people behind the alcoholism. As with any relationship, it takes time. Some people share more than others. Some people, I relate to more than others.
I'm glad you've been able to put words to what you need, Seek. I think that's important. To me (I spend a lot of time on the Internet!), limited knowledge of the rest of people's lives isn't a problem -- but since it is to you, it's a good thing you've identified it and spoken that need. I'm sure there are other people here like you, who would like to know more.
I also know that that there anonymity thing is very important to people. Even the SR folks I've met in real life, we have very limited knowledge about each other.
And I think I understand what you mean when you say you only see people affected by alcoholism. You don't say we're "just that" -- you say you know every single person is so much more than that, and you wish we could know more about that side of each other.
I don't know what the solution is, because I think people share as much as they're comfortable with
Edited to add: Some more things about me? I'm working harder than I ever have in my life right now. I relax by cranking up the music in my headphones and lift heavy weights in the gym, or go for long walks in the woods or hikes in the mountains or bike rides on the trails. I wish I could have a dog, because I'd love to come home to someone who's always glad to see me whether or not I've had a crappy day and who always appreciates getting fed. I've got growing children and aging parents and live with a constant bad conscience because I don't feel that I'm ever doing enough for either. I've also concluded that I feel that way because I think both my children and my parents are incredible people who deserve everything, and that I need to accept that I cannot be everything.
And I love good food.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: west coast
Posts: 1,068
Originally Posted by lillamy
I find that there are days when I crave being here, because people "get me" here.
I find that there are other days when the enormity of the problem of alcoholism in our society overwhelms me to the point of not wanting to come here. I become sad when almost every day, I can see several new people need this community.
What I've found is that the more time I spend here, the more I get to know the people behind the alcoholism. As with any relationship, it takes time. Some people share more than others. Some people, I relate to more than others.
I'm glad you've been able to put words to what you need, Seek. I think that's important. To me (I spend a lot of time on the Internet!), limited knowledge of the rest of people's lives isn't a problem -- but since it is to you, it's a good thing you've identified it and spoken that need. I'm sure there are other people here like you, who would like to know more.
I also know that that there anonymity thing is very important to people. Even the SR folks I've met in real life, we have very limited knowledge about each other.
And I think I understand what you mean when you say you only see people affected by alcoholism. You don't say we're "just that" -- you say you know every single person is so much more than that, and you wish we could know more about that side of each other.
I don't know what the solution is, because I think people share as much as they're comfortable with
Edited to add: Some more things about me? I'm working harder than I ever have in my life right now. I relax by cranking up the music in my headphones and lift heavy weights in the gym, or go for long walks in the woods or hikes in the mountains or bike rides on the trails. I wish I could have a dog, because I'd love to come home to someone who's always glad to see me whether or not I've had a crappy day and who always appreciates getting fed. I've got growing children and aging parents and live with a constant bad conscience because I don't feel that I'm ever doing enough for either. I've also concluded that I feel that way because I think both my children and my parents are incredible people who deserve everything, and that I need to accept that I cannot be everything.
And I love good food.
I find that there are other days when the enormity of the problem of alcoholism in our society overwhelms me to the point of not wanting to come here. I become sad when almost every day, I can see several new people need this community.
What I've found is that the more time I spend here, the more I get to know the people behind the alcoholism. As with any relationship, it takes time. Some people share more than others. Some people, I relate to more than others.
I'm glad you've been able to put words to what you need, Seek. I think that's important. To me (I spend a lot of time on the Internet!), limited knowledge of the rest of people's lives isn't a problem -- but since it is to you, it's a good thing you've identified it and spoken that need. I'm sure there are other people here like you, who would like to know more.
I also know that that there anonymity thing is very important to people. Even the SR folks I've met in real life, we have very limited knowledge about each other.
And I think I understand what you mean when you say you only see people affected by alcoholism. You don't say we're "just that" -- you say you know every single person is so much more than that, and you wish we could know more about that side of each other.
I don't know what the solution is, because I think people share as much as they're comfortable with
Edited to add: Some more things about me? I'm working harder than I ever have in my life right now. I relax by cranking up the music in my headphones and lift heavy weights in the gym, or go for long walks in the woods or hikes in the mountains or bike rides on the trails. I wish I could have a dog, because I'd love to come home to someone who's always glad to see me whether or not I've had a crappy day and who always appreciates getting fed. I've got growing children and aging parents and live with a constant bad conscience because I don't feel that I'm ever doing enough for either. I've also concluded that I feel that way because I think both my children and my parents are incredible people who deserve everything, and that I need to accept that I cannot be everything.
And I love good food.
It is really nurturing for me to get to know people . . .I love hearing about their lives.
And just a postscript about the use of the word "pathetic" in my original post . . .I have felt very defeated and traumatized by what I have experienced related to the alcoholic and I have felt myself becoming "pathetic" and that is not a place where I wish to stay. I am attempting to rewrite the story so that there is a good reason why I am going through this . . . I have a problem stepping into the role of "victim" and I want to find ways for myself to build a life that is free from that role.
Thank you for listening.
Dogs are the best. I don't know where I would be without my dog, because that is unconditional, pure love wrapped in some funny looking fur coat.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Hi Seek. I like the anonymity of the forum but have made some great friendships with folks here and yes, we know more about each other because of it. But its been 18+ months in the making, and requires a certain level of trust with sharing that stuff. Plus, its not stuff I tend to put out on the public side of this forum.
That said, I am 40, recently divorced from the RAH, which was painful and heartbreaking, but necessary. I have teenage girls (not his, he was their Step Dad), and two rowdy pitbulls who share my little house. I bought this house when I separated, much to the demise of my marriage. I am not sure why it was such an issue - its only a possession - but it caused some serious consternation. But I bought because #1 I could and #2 it was a great deal...been renovating the entire house and it looks great, plus instant equity! So financially, it was a wise thing to do.
I work full time in higher education and love my job (most days). I am also finishing a master's program - my second - that I decided to do because I get a tuition stipend for working at the local U.
I love to hike, camp, bike... pretty much all things outdoors, which is why I love Alaska. I am an avid reader, beginner vegetable gardener, and rock star Aunt to my nephews.
Lastly, I really enjoy life, in general. It's been a hard summer in many ways, but also a fantastic summer! I accomplished a lot, especially learning new things like plumbing and power tools. I feel confident in ways I didn't before. I made some hard decisions and acted on them, even when it really sucked to do so. Life really is good for me, and I am blessed.
That said, I am 40, recently divorced from the RAH, which was painful and heartbreaking, but necessary. I have teenage girls (not his, he was their Step Dad), and two rowdy pitbulls who share my little house. I bought this house when I separated, much to the demise of my marriage. I am not sure why it was such an issue - its only a possession - but it caused some serious consternation. But I bought because #1 I could and #2 it was a great deal...been renovating the entire house and it looks great, plus instant equity! So financially, it was a wise thing to do.
I work full time in higher education and love my job (most days). I am also finishing a master's program - my second - that I decided to do because I get a tuition stipend for working at the local U.
I love to hike, camp, bike... pretty much all things outdoors, which is why I love Alaska. I am an avid reader, beginner vegetable gardener, and rock star Aunt to my nephews.
Lastly, I really enjoy life, in general. It's been a hard summer in many ways, but also a fantastic summer! I accomplished a lot, especially learning new things like plumbing and power tools. I feel confident in ways I didn't before. I made some hard decisions and acted on them, even when it really sucked to do so. Life really is good for me, and I am blessed.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: west coast
Posts: 1,068
Originally Posted by Tuffgirl
Hi Seek. I like the anonymity of the forum but have made some great friendships with folks here and yes, we know more about each other because of it. But its been 18+ months in the making, and requires a certain level of trust with sharing that stuff. Plus, its not stuff I tend to put out on the public side of this forum.
That said, I am 40, recently divorced from the RAH, which was painful and heartbreaking, but necessary. I have teenage girls (not his, he was their Step Dad), and two rowdy pitbulls who share my little house. I bought this house when I separated, much to the demise of my marriage. I am not sure why it was such an issue - its only a possession - but it caused some serious consternation. But I bought because #1 I could and #2 it was a great deal...been renovating the entire house and it looks great, plus instant equity! So financially, it was a wise thing to do.
I work full time in higher education and love my job (most days). I am also finishing a master's program - my second - that I decided to do because I get a tuition stipend for working at the local U.
I love to hike, camp, bike... pretty much all things outdoors, which is why I love Alaska. I am an avid reader, beginner vegetable gardener, and rock star Aunt to my nephews.
Lastly, I really enjoy life, in general. It's been a hard summer in many ways, but also a fantastic summer! I accomplished a lot, especially learning new things like plumbing and power tools. I feel confident in ways I didn't before. I made some hard decisions and acted on them, even when it really sucked to do so. Life really is good for me, and I am blessed.
That said, I am 40, recently divorced from the RAH, which was painful and heartbreaking, but necessary. I have teenage girls (not his, he was their Step Dad), and two rowdy pitbulls who share my little house. I bought this house when I separated, much to the demise of my marriage. I am not sure why it was such an issue - its only a possession - but it caused some serious consternation. But I bought because #1 I could and #2 it was a great deal...been renovating the entire house and it looks great, plus instant equity! So financially, it was a wise thing to do.
I work full time in higher education and love my job (most days). I am also finishing a master's program - my second - that I decided to do because I get a tuition stipend for working at the local U.
I love to hike, camp, bike... pretty much all things outdoors, which is why I love Alaska. I am an avid reader, beginner vegetable gardener, and rock star Aunt to my nephews.
Lastly, I really enjoy life, in general. It's been a hard summer in many ways, but also a fantastic summer! I accomplished a lot, especially learning new things like plumbing and power tools. I feel confident in ways I didn't before. I made some hard decisions and acted on them, even when it really sucked to do so. Life really is good for me, and I am blessed.
I am also trying to finish up a higher degree and have one advanced degree. I have not been feeling inspired to focus on my studies - "the problem" has interfered with that, but I hope to get back on track there because I want to get this particular degree, come hell or high water, just as a goal I can check off my bucket list.
That you feel "life is good" and you are blessed, is amazing . . .I want to get to that place . . .I can see many aspects of the possibilities and I am working on healing some core wounds . . .I hope I am making progress and releasing what needs to be released. I have a spiritual belief that this "problem" is an opportunity for all family members to heal core wounds. Hope it is "true." Thank you for sharing part of your life. Now, if I can only remember who has said what, I might be able to really make headway into this community.
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
Hi Seek, my turn.
I am almost 59, separated from my AW and in the process of a divorce. I am a former member of the Marine Corps and have been involved off and on in Marital Arts most of my adult life. What would you expect from a former jarhead?
When I first joined this forum I was a total mess and in a very dark place. Now I have my own apartment, a cat (so there you dog lovers, we cat folk have a place here ) and in a very good place right now.
Thanks to this forum, Al-anon and my return to Buddhism. As for my profile, the lack of information is due more to my laziness rather than any need to remain anonymous.
I hope you can find the same sort of community that I have found here.
Your friend,
I am almost 59, separated from my AW and in the process of a divorce. I am a former member of the Marine Corps and have been involved off and on in Marital Arts most of my adult life. What would you expect from a former jarhead?
When I first joined this forum I was a total mess and in a very dark place. Now I have my own apartment, a cat (so there you dog lovers, we cat folk have a place here
) and in a very good place right now.Thanks to this forum, Al-anon and my return to Buddhism. As for my profile, the lack of information is due more to my laziness rather than any need to remain anonymous.
I hope you can find the same sort of community that I have found here.
Your friend,
Iceberg Ahead!
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Out at Sea
Posts: 1,177
I hear you seek! There are pros & cons to this. Sometimes we need this site or the program people so much. We want to connect and resonate!
Other times, the weight of all this is too much and we just want to isolate, be invisible & not feel like we have to be there for or because of someone. We've done too much of that already!
One can maintain anonymity on this site yet open up by becoming Friends after one is comfortable with that. The Privacy settings can be relaxed for Friends so there's more there to share.
Anyway, I love music! It's creation, lyrics and all. The backstory. The fusion. The energy and inspiration.
I like to cook, create, grill, play, enjoy the outdoors, read, swim, tinker with tech, write, and chat by the fire (or anywhere!). I like to hide pennies all over the beach and make a senior detector go bonkers!
Enjoy bow wow seek!
Other times, the weight of all this is too much and we just want to isolate, be invisible & not feel like we have to be there for or because of someone. We've done too much of that already!
One can maintain anonymity on this site yet open up by becoming Friends after one is comfortable with that. The Privacy settings can be relaxed for Friends so there's more there to share.
Anyway, I love music! It's creation, lyrics and all. The backstory. The fusion. The energy and inspiration.
I like to cook, create, grill, play, enjoy the outdoors, read, swim, tinker with tech, write, and chat by the fire (or anywhere!). I like to hide pennies all over the beach and make a senior detector go bonkers!
Enjoy bow wow seek!
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
. .I have felt very defeated and traumatized by what I have experienced related to the alcoholic and I have felt myself becoming "pathetic" and that is not a place where I wish to stay. I am attempting to rewrite the story so that there is a good reason why I am going through this . . . I have a problem stepping into the role of "victim" and I want to find ways for myself to build a life that is free from that role.
When I left my AXH, I was ANGRY. And the anger made me strong. I handled everything independently and I had no issues telling anyone where they could go and provide them with a road map if they annoyed me.
As my anger has cooled off, I've had to fight harder to not slip back into that role of "iusedtobetheabusedwifeofanalcoholic"... And I'm fighting it. Because I see in friends how letting ONE thing define your life limits you. Fences you in. Prevents you from fully living.
I have one friend who is a breast cancer survivor. She is an amazing source of information, volunteers at the hospital, drives new cancer patients to their first chemo treatments, takes their calls at 2 am when they're crying... she is an incredible woman. BUT being a breast cancer survivor defines her life. Any conversation I have with her ends up being about breast cancer. If I say I injured my knee, she can turn it into how her muscles hurt when she had to relearn how to move her arm after breast cancer surgery. She's not a victim, she's not a sad and lonely person, but she is letting this thing that was huge and frightening and very, very life-changing define EVERYTHING she does.
I love her dearly. But I don't want to become like her. I don't want every conversation to be about codependency or alcoholism or Al-Anon. Because however much being married to an alcoholic changed my life, IT DOES NOT DEFINE WHO I AM.
For a while, it did. I was fighting for my emotional life, and my energy was not enough to handle anything other than going to meetings and going through the motions of everyday life. But as with any injury, there came a time when I could look up and enjoy life again. Find new challenges. Try new things.
There are also other areas of life that are changed forever. Because recovery changed me forever. I've chosen to leave a lot of my old friends behind, because they have a relationship to alcohol that bothers me. We were a group of friends where "Oh My Goodness, this week has been so stressful we HAVE to get together and drink a (few) bottle(s) of wine on Friday!" was normal. And I don't judge them for that -- but it's not something I choose to have in my life anymore.
For me, making conscious choices for myself instead of trying to change people around me has been huge. I don't apologize for my choices; I don't have to warn people about the dangers of drinking; I choose not to be around people who drink most times.
But it reaches beyond drinking, too. I find that I'm brave enough to trust my own judgment again. I enjoy my own company again. I've made new friends. I do new things. So while being a survivor of an alcoholic marriage doesn't DEFINE me, it definitely has changed me. In many ways.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
There are many ways to connect on this forum than through the 'Friends and Family' forums. There is a chat room. The posts in Cafe Central are made by F&F and recovering addicts and typically have NOTHING to do with addiction. I enjoy stopping by the Whiner's Anonymous thread and Post Your Mood with a Smiley. People around here have fantastic senses of humour!!
Sometimes I even post on the What's for Dinner thread....yum!
Sometimes I even post on the What's for Dinner thread....yum!
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
Life is pretty good at the moment for me. I'm making strides in therapy and focusing my time on my kids and hobbies.
I need to get out in nature more, because I love it and because it grounds me. The RAH and I are planning our first camping trip since he's been sober, and it's going to be a doozy. We're going to do a full primitive camping experience (RAH calls it "pooping in a hole" camping -- sorry if TMI
) and this will be the first time I've done it like this without camp showers and running water. I'm pretty excited.
We took the kids to the park today and had a ton of fun. The weather has been gorgeous and I'm grateful that we had that time today.
I need to get out in nature more, because I love it and because it grounds me. The RAH and I are planning our first camping trip since he's been sober, and it's going to be a doozy. We're going to do a full primitive camping experience (RAH calls it "pooping in a hole" camping -- sorry if TMI
) and this will be the first time I've done it like this without camp showers and running water. I'm pretty excited. We took the kids to the park today and had a ton of fun. The weather has been gorgeous and I'm grateful that we had that time today.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
Something else silly, just because, is that my 1yo is crawling around on the floor, panting like a dog, and my RAH is coming after her, and she's laughing like wild. Mind you, she's been walking since she was less than 9mos old.
:P So silly.
:P So silly.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 95
I spend most of my time here in this form, so I want and looked around. I found the Social Group forms. There are places in there to talk about non addiction related things. But I'm sure as the majority of the site is for the addicts them sells. It would be mostly addicts posting in them.
Here is my thought, could there be a form in the Friends and Family section just for off topic discussion? Somewhere we could talk about things in our life that don't include addiction? I don't know how we would go about getting that set up. I think I would enjoy posting and reading there.
Here is my thought, could there be a form in the Friends and Family section just for off topic discussion? Somewhere we could talk about things in our life that don't include addiction? I don't know how we would go about getting that set up. I think I would enjoy posting and reading there.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Originally Posted by android1
Here is my thought, could there be a form in the Friends and Family section just for off topic discussion? Somewhere we could talk about things in our life that don't include addiction? I don't know how we would go about getting that set up. I think I would enjoy posting and reading there.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Perhaps you would like to discuss some topic other than addiction or join the "whiners":
Café Central - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Perhaps you would like to take a break and play a few word games:
Interactive Word Games - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Maybe you would like to talk to others about various arcade games:
Arcade Discussions - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Are you a book fan? You can find those just like you right here:
The Book Club - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Maybe you would actually like to create your own social group on SR....start your thread here:
User-Created Social Groups - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Are you a poetry fan?
Inspirations, Thoughts, Poems, & Sayings - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Don't we all sometimes need a good joke?
Recovery Follies - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Many ways to get to know folks a bit better without ever having to mention addiction or codependency and without revealing any personally identifiable information!
Café Central - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Perhaps you would like to take a break and play a few word games:
Interactive Word Games - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Maybe you would like to talk to others about various arcade games:
Arcade Discussions - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Are you a book fan? You can find those just like you right here:
The Book Club - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Maybe you would actually like to create your own social group on SR....start your thread here:
User-Created Social Groups - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Are you a poetry fan?
Inspirations, Thoughts, Poems, & Sayings - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Don't we all sometimes need a good joke?
Recovery Follies - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Many ways to get to know folks a bit better without ever having to mention addiction or codependency and without revealing any personally identifiable information!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
Seek-
I am interested in this learning edge for me that you speak of. How to be in myself and how to be in relationship with another.
Being in myself is pretty safe for me (yay for therapy). I still regularly lose myself with others (especially in person). In part that is why this board works for me, healing, listening to ESH etc. Writing is a challenge for me though so that learning edge is there. It is also nice to know that support is there outside of support meetings.
I am in my mid-30s, live in the southwest (but am originally from the northeast), and live with my two dogs in my own home. One dog is getting ready to be tested to be a Pet Partner and go and visit patients at the local hospital.
I have been in recovery for an eating disorder for the last 12 years, so outside of traditional support networks for recovery I also do bodywork (Rolfing), a type of therapy known as Hakomi, and am actually taking a Hakomi two year training at the moment to learn how to incorporate that into my work. I have recently branched out into other interests, loved my MBSR class and this week am getting ready to try something called TRE (Tension Releasing Exercises).
Though recovery in my own being is pretty established, I still struggle in relationship...and as a result I am a little top heavy on recovery the last two years.
When not doing "formal" recovery stuff I enjoy the outdoors and live in world class hiking/biking areas. I also enjoy reading, and just realized I am going to have to take a wood working class soon so I can build bookshelves for myself.
I am grateful to SR for letting me participate, and offering so much ESH to me (and all of us).
I am interested in this learning edge for me that you speak of. How to be in myself and how to be in relationship with another.
Being in myself is pretty safe for me (yay for therapy). I still regularly lose myself with others (especially in person). In part that is why this board works for me, healing, listening to ESH etc. Writing is a challenge for me though so that learning edge is there. It is also nice to know that support is there outside of support meetings.
I am in my mid-30s, live in the southwest (but am originally from the northeast), and live with my two dogs in my own home. One dog is getting ready to be tested to be a Pet Partner and go and visit patients at the local hospital.
I have been in recovery for an eating disorder for the last 12 years, so outside of traditional support networks for recovery I also do bodywork (Rolfing), a type of therapy known as Hakomi, and am actually taking a Hakomi two year training at the moment to learn how to incorporate that into my work. I have recently branched out into other interests, loved my MBSR class and this week am getting ready to try something called TRE (Tension Releasing Exercises).
Though recovery in my own being is pretty established, I still struggle in relationship...and as a result I am a little top heavy on recovery the last two years.
When not doing "formal" recovery stuff I enjoy the outdoors and live in world class hiking/biking areas. I also enjoy reading, and just realized I am going to have to take a wood working class soon so I can build bookshelves for myself.
I am grateful to SR for letting me participate, and offering so much ESH to me (and all of us).
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: west coast
Posts: 1,068
Originally Posted by m1k3
Hi Seek, my turn.
I am almost 59, separated from my AW and in the process of a divorce. I am a former member of the Marine Corps and have been involved off and on in Marital Arts most of my adult life. What would you expect from a former jarhead?
When I first joined this forum I was a total mess and in a very dark place. Now I have my own apartment, a cat (so there you dog lovers, we cat folk have a place here ) and in a very good place right now.
Thanks to this forum, Al-anon and my return to Buddhism. As for my profile, the lack of information is due more to my laziness rather than any need to remain anonymous.
I hope you can find the same sort of community that I have found here.
Your friend,
I am almost 59, separated from my AW and in the process of a divorce. I am a former member of the Marine Corps and have been involved off and on in Marital Arts most of my adult life. What would you expect from a former jarhead?
When I first joined this forum I was a total mess and in a very dark place. Now I have my own apartment, a cat (so there you dog lovers, we cat folk have a place here
) and in a very good place right now.Thanks to this forum, Al-anon and my return to Buddhism. As for my profile, the lack of information is due more to my laziness rather than any need to remain anonymous.
I hope you can find the same sort of community that I have found here.
Your friend,
I am so happy for you that you are in a good place. That is so inspiring!
I have also studied Buddhism and use some principals in my life. That is somewhat of a dichotomy, no? A Buddhist Marine? Thank you for introducing yourself. I hope to get to know people over time.
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