Using son as designated driver - Ugh!!
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 84
Using son as designated driver - Ugh!!
I'm too angry to go into the long version now, the short is: Ah promised kids ice cream for doing chores all day (you know that was fun.) Well, by ice cream time AH is crap faced and pass-out on the sofa. I thought ice cream was off. Next thing I know is I hear the door. DS 16, coming in to get his LEARNERS PERMIT!!! They are going for ice cream and he is driving, kids all already in the car. I just said a few prayers and am sitting with the phone. Just needed to vent.
I hope you have your children in therapy, having an active alcoholic in the home. Do you go to Al-Anon with them or have them in Alateen? If not, I suggest you do so as soon as possible. Children don't ask to be brought up in these kinds of homes, and the damage can be lasting. How well they do at reversing it depends on a lot of things.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 84
Thanks for the replys. I have had to wait to check the thread. The night only got worse after AH and kids returned from Ice cream. The night spiraled down to AH and I having a bit of slap fight. He touched me and I pushed him away. He grabbed my leg (we were sitting next to each other) and I pushed him away hard. Then he grabbed me again, this time I layed my nails into his arm and moved away. He had never done anythig like this before in 19 yrs of marriage. Just proves the addage 'they progress.'
My kids have been to therapy, didn't work for them. I talk to them alot about ah's drinking. I'm not sure what I'm going to do at this point. The man-handling me thing is crossing a line. I'm still not to a point that I can leave. I can't work. I'm hoping that I can start my own buisness to generate some income.
My kids have been to therapy, didn't work for them. I talk to them alot about ah's drinking. I'm not sure what I'm going to do at this point. The man-handling me thing is crossing a line. I'm still not to a point that I can leave. I can't work. I'm hoping that I can start my own buisness to generate some income.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Bartonsville, Pa
Posts: 24
Should have done it sooner
I have lived through the same thing. My AH had our 13yr old drive home in a snow storm with a snowmobile trailer on the back. I did not find out about this until my son was 18 and had enough of his father using him as the driver. I am just fortunate that nothing ever happened. My AH has escaped all consequences of driving drunk but I finally said enough and had him leave. We have been separated for almost a year and he is still driving drunk,does not understand why I want him off my insurance and just found out the other day he drove my older son 22 who does not have a license due to uncontrolled type 1 diabetes home. Next time my son is to call me to get him and his dad can do what he will. It took me years to stand up for my children, please do it now tell them never to get in the car when their father has been drinking, you will never forgive yourself.
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