answers /
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 60
answers /
Hi one and all
I'm new here
Its true the only answer I can find is from myself but being over thinking so much the last week or so would be nice to gain some feedback. so thank you in advance.
So I had a blowout 3rd August , first week was fun , kissed my pretty neighbour , went sailing in winds capsized and was generally bouncing around the pubs having fun , came home kinda drunk but mainly sleepy , i never really pass out or go to oblivion , but did wake the house up (brother and father), stealth is not my strong point or concern when drinking , my home life kinda sucks , close proximity living space , an extremely depressed brother , a nice caring but sometimes difficult father, its not Ideal,and I'm sick of playing housewife , the start of this blowout a doctor had to be called out for my brother who was going through a serious episode , smashing things roaring and sucide threats , few days before that he misplaced a serious letter regarding a college place which i lost as a result , it was my ticket away, my new life and felt if this college thing does not work out I really wanna be in a coma for a year until chance for next year , but hey I got another placement and its prob better than previous.
so we go into week two
waking up drinking wine , going back to sleep , getting more for the night , more the next day , money being taken off me so I'm facebooking people to drop me out wine , doors of house locked to keep me in and pubs called to be told not to serve me , shoes being taken away so I cant go out and at this stage I,m totally strung out , puffy face feeling like a loaded gun is placed at my head with trigger ready to be pulled at any time and I just want to ease that pain with " A cure" went to my doctor who prescribed me lots of librium at lunch time so its into the pub 2 pints and 2 librium then off to supermarket to get 6 litres of cider (didnt hide them too well they got poured down the sink 
) but managed to source some wine that night by calling into people i know to borrow a bottle , horrible act !!!, some success some met with a terrible look and a no and some a "no sorry".
so week three off it 2 days stressed out with college grant applications in town and the result of my place, and had a confrontation with a man who i really helped out last few months but he used me, popped into my friend who is chronic ( half a bottle of whiskey) gone at 3.00 , i took a few swigs ,
missed my bus went to the pub 2 pints cider and 8 cans strong cider for the night , next day woke hungover of course , walked beach cleaned , laundry and at 5 o clock town for 9 cans , during my third i got my college course felt elated drank more cans and then down to golf club for 2 pints , remember feeling so tranquil smoking a cig looking out at sea and mountains and such a relief from the pain of the last few weeks , so last night (Im not drinking tonight nor do i feel any need or thought although jittery and tough day) nine cans last night , drinking them and thinking this is kinda **** and looking forward to feeling awesome hopeful happy optimistic clear and energetic ( 3-4 days)
these blowouts or crashes occur exactly every 6 months with always a big trigger , in between these i can go out , drink 8-10 every three weeks , or chill at home listening to music buzzing so im confused , I know i have a problem , these blowouts could destroy jobs college , being to AA 6 times , it ****** sucks but I'm really thinking about the no control over alcohol and life being unmanagable as a result , which held so true during this period , I spent a lot of money that i could have done with , missed deadline for insurance documents , policy cancelled , never met my beautiful ex girl to which she wanted me to stay with her for the weekend and im kinda the gossip of the village i live in ("J has gone apeshit again")!.
not good I know in these periods its a serious problem but all okay 6-7 months in between?.
Sorry long one ,
many thanks
I'm new here
Its true the only answer I can find is from myself but being over thinking so much the last week or so would be nice to gain some feedback. so thank you in advance.
So I had a blowout 3rd August , first week was fun , kissed my pretty neighbour , went sailing in winds capsized and was generally bouncing around the pubs having fun , came home kinda drunk but mainly sleepy , i never really pass out or go to oblivion , but did wake the house up (brother and father), stealth is not my strong point or concern when drinking , my home life kinda sucks , close proximity living space , an extremely depressed brother , a nice caring but sometimes difficult father, its not Ideal,and I'm sick of playing housewife , the start of this blowout a doctor had to be called out for my brother who was going through a serious episode , smashing things roaring and sucide threats , few days before that he misplaced a serious letter regarding a college place which i lost as a result , it was my ticket away, my new life and felt if this college thing does not work out I really wanna be in a coma for a year until chance for next year , but hey I got another placement and its prob better than previous.
so we go into week two
waking up drinking wine , going back to sleep , getting more for the night , more the next day , money being taken off me so I'm facebooking people to drop me out wine , doors of house locked to keep me in and pubs called to be told not to serve me , shoes being taken away so I cant go out and at this stage I,m totally strung out , puffy face feeling like a loaded gun is placed at my head with trigger ready to be pulled at any time and I just want to ease that pain with " A cure" went to my doctor who prescribed me lots of librium at lunch time so its into the pub 2 pints and 2 librium then off to supermarket to get 6 litres of cider (didnt hide them too well they got poured down the sink 
) but managed to source some wine that night by calling into people i know to borrow a bottle , horrible act !!!, some success some met with a terrible look and a no and some a "no sorry".so week three off it 2 days stressed out with college grant applications in town and the result of my place, and had a confrontation with a man who i really helped out last few months but he used me, popped into my friend who is chronic ( half a bottle of whiskey) gone at 3.00 , i took a few swigs ,
missed my bus went to the pub 2 pints cider and 8 cans strong cider for the night , next day woke hungover of course , walked beach cleaned , laundry and at 5 o clock town for 9 cans , during my third i got my college course felt elated drank more cans and then down to golf club for 2 pints , remember feeling so tranquil smoking a cig looking out at sea and mountains and such a relief from the pain of the last few weeks , so last night (Im not drinking tonight nor do i feel any need or thought although jittery and tough day) nine cans last night , drinking them and thinking this is kinda **** and looking forward to feeling awesome hopeful happy optimistic clear and energetic ( 3-4 days)
these blowouts or crashes occur exactly every 6 months with always a big trigger , in between these i can go out , drink 8-10 every three weeks , or chill at home listening to music buzzing so im confused , I know i have a problem , these blowouts could destroy jobs college , being to AA 6 times , it ****** sucks but I'm really thinking about the no control over alcohol and life being unmanagable as a result , which held so true during this period , I spent a lot of money that i could have done with , missed deadline for insurance documents , policy cancelled , never met my beautiful ex girl to which she wanted me to stay with her for the weekend and im kinda the gossip of the village i live in ("J has gone apeshit again")!.
not good I know in these periods its a serious problem but all okay 6-7 months in between?.
Sorry long one ,
many thanks
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Welcome to SR Jfire....Sounds unmanagable to me....I'd be careful taking the librium with alcohol...I don't think that's what the doc gave it to you for....I got to ask you....Do you really want to stop for good?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Jfire
Even as an every day drinker I had periods where I could claim my drinking was 'manageable' but then there were the inevitable times when the sh't hit the fan where it would become out of control... I don't think it really matters what happens inbetween, fact is alcohol sounds like your no.1 coping strategy.
Maybe head back to those AA meetings, or check out one of the other recovery methods... I'm sure SR will be helpful to you x
Even as an every day drinker I had periods where I could claim my drinking was 'manageable' but then there were the inevitable times when the sh't hit the fan where it would become out of control... I don't think it really matters what happens inbetween, fact is alcohol sounds like your no.1 coping strategy.
Maybe head back to those AA meetings, or check out one of the other recovery methods... I'm sure SR will be helpful to you x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 60
wow quick replies , thanks ,
yeah week one I didnt care , was not out to control my drinking , no cares just happy , week two dark dark hole territory, yes I drink during those six months , maybe 10 beers every 2-3 weeks , in that time thinking though , drinking alone is kinda sad and boring , and that night out in pub/club was a bit of a waste of cash and being disapointed with that night . and you know really thinking drinking was a bit of a waste of time , I produce music so my Muse totally takes off 4 four days , a little apathy follows.
Librium with alcohol has a dual effect combined with alcohol and a serious impact on ones nervous system but my thought process of the time was to get out of it ,
Do I want to give up for good ?, you know during the 6 months okay drinking alcohol did not play a huge role in my life, I could easily do without to be honest I guess I want to understand myself and how I get into these dark Holes and I guess answer that really hard question that everybody doesnt like to answer
yeah week one I didnt care , was not out to control my drinking , no cares just happy , week two dark dark hole territory, yes I drink during those six months , maybe 10 beers every 2-3 weeks , in that time thinking though , drinking alone is kinda sad and boring , and that night out in pub/club was a bit of a waste of cash and being disapointed with that night . and you know really thinking drinking was a bit of a waste of time , I produce music so my Muse totally takes off 4 four days , a little apathy follows.
Librium with alcohol has a dual effect combined with alcohol and a serious impact on ones nervous system but my thought process of the time was to get out of it ,
Do I want to give up for good ?, you know during the 6 months okay drinking alcohol did not play a huge role in my life, I could easily do without to be honest I guess I want to understand myself and how I get into these dark Holes and I guess answer that really hard question that everybody doesnt like to answer
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Hi and welcome to SR
I drank sporadically... sometimes once a month, sometimes twice a month, sometimes twice a week. There was no pattern, really, but I probably averaged twice a month. When I drank, I drank until I could drink no more. I never drank the next day but looking back now, I may as well have done for all the thinking I did about it. I don't think it matters how much you drink. What matters is what alcohol has taken away from you (seems like for you that's quite a lot) and how you react when you take that first drink. If you can't control your drinking or you cannot stop even though you want to, you probably need to consider being sober for a while, at least. Even if it's just to test yourself.
Going on benders like that is probably going to cause a lot of issues when you start college. If you deal with stress through drinking and you become stressed by work load, etc, it really isn't going to help if you drink instead of work. You can be sober. It's not easy, but it's simple. All you have to do is stop putting alcohol inside you.
If you want it, you can have it. Believe in yourself and remember that if you ever need any support, we here at SR will be here.
All the best to you!
I drank sporadically... sometimes once a month, sometimes twice a month, sometimes twice a week. There was no pattern, really, but I probably averaged twice a month. When I drank, I drank until I could drink no more. I never drank the next day but looking back now, I may as well have done for all the thinking I did about it. I don't think it matters how much you drink. What matters is what alcohol has taken away from you (seems like for you that's quite a lot) and how you react when you take that first drink. If you can't control your drinking or you cannot stop even though you want to, you probably need to consider being sober for a while, at least. Even if it's just to test yourself.
Going on benders like that is probably going to cause a lot of issues when you start college. If you deal with stress through drinking and you become stressed by work load, etc, it really isn't going to help if you drink instead of work. You can be sober. It's not easy, but it's simple. All you have to do is stop putting alcohol inside you.
If you want it, you can have it. Believe in yourself and remember that if you ever need any support, we here at SR will be here.
All the best to you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 60
Originally Posted by MrsKing 
Hi and welcome to SR
I drank sporadically... sometimes once a month, sometimes twice a month, sometimes twice a week. There was no pattern, really, but I probably averaged twice a month. When I drank, I drank until I could drink no more. I never drank the next day but looking back now, I may as well have done for all the thinking I did about it. I don't think it matters how much you drink. What matters is what alcohol has taken away from you (seems like for you that's quite a lot) and how you react when you take that first drink. If you can't control your drinking or you cannot stop even though you want to, you probably need to consider being sober for a while, at least. Even if it's just to test yourself.
Going on benders like that is probably going to cause a lot of issues when you start college. If you deal with stress through drinking and you become stressed by work load, etc, it really isn't going to help if you drink instead of work. You can be sober. It's not easy, but it's simple. All you have to do is stop putting alcohol inside you.
If you want it, you can have it. Believe in yourself and remember that if you ever need any support, we here at SR will be here.
All the best to you!
I drank sporadically... sometimes once a month, sometimes twice a month, sometimes twice a week. There was no pattern, really, but I probably averaged twice a month. When I drank, I drank until I could drink no more. I never drank the next day but looking back now, I may as well have done for all the thinking I did about it. I don't think it matters how much you drink. What matters is what alcohol has taken away from you (seems like for you that's quite a lot) and how you react when you take that first drink. If you can't control your drinking or you cannot stop even though you want to, you probably need to consider being sober for a while, at least. Even if it's just to test yourself.
Going on benders like that is probably going to cause a lot of issues when you start college. If you deal with stress through drinking and you become stressed by work load, etc, it really isn't going to help if you drink instead of work. You can be sober. It's not easy, but it's simple. All you have to do is stop putting alcohol inside you.
If you want it, you can have it. Believe in yourself and remember that if you ever need any support, we here at SR will be here.
All the best to you!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
But you can already not drink quite easily for lengths of time right? Where would be the challenge in stopping for a bit?
There's a guy in my AA group who always says 'Any idiot can stop... it's staying stopped that's the problem'. I have always been a bit offended by this because I never could put it down (daily drinker), but I think he has a point. So many people stop for periods of time thinking they're okay now but end up going on the same old benders time and time again, even with different environments and even decades down the line.
There's a guy in my AA group who always says 'Any idiot can stop... it's staying stopped that's the problem'. I have always been a bit offended by this because I never could put it down (daily drinker), but I think he has a point. So many people stop for periods of time thinking they're okay now but end up going on the same old benders time and time again, even with different environments and even decades down the line.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome Jfire
I've been a binger and I've been an all day everyday drinker.
In reckon if I mess up my life even twice a year that's still two times too many.
I've had 5 years now of not messing up my life at all - I really *really* prefer that way
D
I've been a binger and I've been an all day everyday drinker.
In reckon if I mess up my life even twice a year that's still two times too many.
I've had 5 years now of not messing up my life at all - I really *really* prefer that way
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 206
Originally Posted by hypochondriac
But you can already not drink quite easily for lengths of time right? Where would be the challenge in stopping for a bit?
There's a guy in my AA group who always says 'Any idiot can stop... it's staying stopped that's the problem'.line.
There's a guy in my AA group who always says 'Any idiot can stop... it's staying stopped that's the problem'.line.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 60
Originally Posted by Dee74
Welcome Jfire
I've been a binger and I've been an all day everyday drinker.
In reckon if I mess up my life even twice a year that's still two times too many.
I've had 5 years now of not messing up my life at all - I really *really* prefer that way
D
I've been a binger and I've been an all day everyday drinker.
In reckon if I mess up my life even twice a year that's still two times too many.
I've had 5 years now of not messing up my life at all - I really *really* prefer that way
D
yup twice is more than enough hehe
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