broken77

I have always noticed my AH's pinpoint pupils. I knew it was a sign of his addiction just never knew the extent of it or the money he was spending. Now that he has admitted his problem and is looking for help, I wonder if just looking into his eyes will be enough to know. Is there anyway around the pupil dilation or lack there of? I had a bad eye injury 2 yrs ago and was put on eyes drops that dilated my eyes. I am in such doubt now of his lies that I wonder if he could possibly be taking something to relieve the pinpoints? It sounds crazy even asking this question but that is where I'm at now.

broken77

Well NO I am not happy! I just learned of the extent of the bitter truth a few days ago. Of course I am going to doubt and second guess him. Do I just say screw you and walk away or give him a shot at recovery? I'm not gonna be on the roller coaster ride and he knows that. I will try to focus on his recovery and encourage him but I will also be monitoring the income now and how his eyes look.

hello-kitty

From the sounds of it, you are already on the rollercoaster ride.

Why don't you focus on your OWN recovery, and let him focus on his for a while. Do you attend meetings like alanon or naranon or codependents anonymous? Have you read any good co-dependency recovery books like Co-Dependent No More?

What are you doing to find your own serenity, so that whether he quits using drugs or not, you will have happiness and peace in your life?

Justfor1

Nothing beats a good quality drug test. You have to surprise him with it though. Sometimes when an addict is in denial a positive drug test can wake him/her into cold reality.

emptyshell

Broken- yes there are meds that can dilate pupils, but there are other ways to spot if hes hi. Think back to his actions, demeanor etc when hes hi& you will notice the difference in his actions, apperance etc. You did not say what hes using, but I am assuming opiates since you said pinpoint pupils. My AH does pills and this is what I see from him when using- pinpoint pupils, bloodshot eyes, excessive itching, nose rubbing, sweating, thirst, doesnt eat, decreased respirations, loud voice, erratic behavior (like walking very fast& the need to be busy, not being able to sit still), ranting & raving-talking non stop,excessive cursing, mood swings, saying weird things like hes seeing spots or his heart hurts or this body part is numb, etc etc, staying awake all night, then when hes starting to come down from the hi he starts "dipping out" (nodding to sleep& jerking awake), then when he does fall asleep I see leg& arm jerking, excessive sweating (like soaking the sheets sweating). Then when he doesnt have the drugs the next day he sleeps almost all day (continuously or off and on) and seems all depressed, doesnt talk much. I hope some of these examples help you. Best of luck to you, def keep an eye on your money!

broken77

He actually told me to do this!! I am planning on it.

Titanic

The paged Instructions were:

Put your oxygen mask on first. There is turbulence. Do It Now!

It'll be hard enough putting your mask on, let alone first putting on someone else's (who will not cooperate from the beginning in most cases).

supportforme

Broken-
Watching his actions are truly the only thing you can do. I know it sounds crazy - but; believe me you'll know. I've spent countless hours researching and trying to get answers of how I could tell if he was on the pills. Listening to his lies as to it's not the pills, it's suboxone - I started thinking I was the one that was crazy. It will make you crazy trying to figure this out. His actions will tell you. After living with this disease for so many years, I've learned that my gut is usually right. There's nothing I can do to fix it. Even with drug tests, playing detective, I was manipulated and lied to beyond comprehension. Get help to begin your recovery for you and your children to help you stay healthy through this. Even if he does begin recovery, a major component of opiate addiction is the emotional aspect. There is so much information on the web to educate you on the dysfunction of family and addiction along with opiate addiction and recovery. I know, I became the opiate expert while I was trying to figure out his addiction to fix him and to no avail all I did was drive myself crazy. This will be a rough ride even when he stops. All you can do is protect what you can - financially. Emotionally, try to get to a meeting or a therapist. The folks on this site are amazing. I actually just continued to read and work on myself for a couple of years with sober recovery and therapy and it saved my sanity in the end. I hope your husband finds the strength he needs. However, there is nothing you or the kids can do for him. All you can do is for you and your kids. You didn't cause this, you can control this or cure it. Please take care of yourself so you can stay healthy for what this horrible disease will do to your family.