jaz06

Am I just fooling myself?? I want sooooo badly to quit drinking, I HATE what it has done to me. But yet, I managed to get 2 days under my belt & the first time stress hits me (dealing with a teenager), I poured a glass of wine. Now I'm on #3 (he's in bed). And I want to keep going..........

Dee74

You're only fooling yourself if you think you can't get sober Jaz

Don't beat yourself up - what's done is done.
My advice is tip the rest out and think about what to do now.

If stress leads you to want to drink, then perhaps it's time to work on ways of changing your reaction to the stress?

Think about some ideas on how to deal with stress in healthier ways...make a plan for next time you have to deal with a teenager...think about using the support nyou have here before things get on top of you...

the more tools we have in our toolbox the less likely we are to reach for our old Universal Fix It

D

jaz06

I know I can get sober (trying to stay positive)...still trying to figure it all out.

Thank you Dee...I just poured out the rest of #3 (although there wasn't much left).

Damn...have to start day 1 again.

blueshades

Hang in there, jaz. You can do this!

Soulprint

Hi Jaz,
Oh bless you I really feel for you.
I had been drinking constantly for 30 years and this year, due to various things, stopped eating and nearly drank myself to death. It is a horrid vicious circle you are in! For me I joined AA which I love and the wonderful support and encouragement I received along with a programme to change my life = has saved my life.

Quitting on your own also known as white knuckling, can be done but it is harder.

Good luck, be kind and gentle to yourself. Thinking of you.

SP x

canguy

Jaz,

No one's gonna 'give it' to you because there's no punishment here, only support.

instant

Have another go. I lost count of my day ones, and the ones I didn't even make a one, but started with good intentions.

MrsKing

Hi Jaz, I think it is time to start thinking of you. What do you love doing? What totally takes your mind off things and relaxes you? When we get sober we have to find other activities that give us that same 'zoning out' feeling that alcohol did. Since being sober I have found that baking, walking, playing badminton, swimming and reading are great ways of forgetting about the stresses of the day. The best thing is that none of them cause a hangover! Or regret! It takes time to get our bodies to associate relaxing with things other than alcohol but if you continue to use other activities rather than alcohol you will find that eventually you will not think of alcohol to help de-stress you, but other things instead.

Do you use a program to stay sober? It isn't necessary but I think when cravings hit, it's good to have ways to deal with them.

Hope today is a better day for you x

tomsteve

glad ya wanna stop,jaz, and yes you can. there is one problem though. you are trying to figure it all out and your thinking got ya where you are, so it aint gonna help ya figger out anything other than how to get drunk again. reading yer 2nd post in this thread, i think you can see how good yer thinking is at figuring it all out.
so, 1st, ya gotta want to stop drinking then ya gotta use someone elses thinkng.

so, heres what worked for me. the thinking of the fellowship and the program of AA. been workin great for a while now.

IndaMiricale

Like so many had many of those day 1's.. And you know that actually added up to great learning expierances..

Dont beat yourself up, put down the drink and do it again..

I love my life in AA now , maybe come check it out. I wouldnt be here without it.

SunnyFlower

Hey Jaz!

I've been trying to stop drinking on my own for two years. I bought self help books (non AA), self hypnosis dvd"s, anything I could find, as a "do it yourself quick fix".
I quit drinking 2 time's this year...once for a month...(thought all was good) then relapsed, once for 12 days...relapsed again. (both stress induced) Today I am 5 days sober. This time time I am not doing it alone. I've spent weeks researching to find the best recovery programs available for me. I found an AA program here that works for me, also a wonderful sponsor. Last night, I went to be evaluated at an Alcohol and Drug Rehab, and will be starting Intensive Out Patient Program on Friday.

Right now I feel good and excited about recovery...but, I know the hard times are coming...issues are gonna pop up and I'm gonna have to learn to deal with them without my bottle of rum. It's scary to think that I'm going to have to FEEL the pain and anquish, without drowning them out with liquor. That's where AA, Rehab, and SR step in. They are all here to help.

Anyways, What I am trying to say is that there are a lot of resources and support out there that we can use to help with our addictions. We just have to find the ones that best suit our needs.

I told my husband that for now, in order to remove my obession with drinking, I'm gonna have to become totally obsessed with my rehab programs. He is totally supporting me to do what I got do.

You Can Do It! Hang in there and never give up!

freshstart57

Jaz, there is nothing wrong with your thinking, not a thing. Your thinking brought you here, so it can't be discounted completely. You know that you need to stop this, so that is another right thought of yours. The only person that is going to stop feeding you alcohol is you, and the hand that poured the wine into your glass and tipped it down your neck is yours and it still does what you tell it to. One way or another, you will stop getting drunk when you stop drinking. That's it.

Is it time for you to make a plan for continuing to use alcohol? Does any plan like that include keeping wine in your kitchen? Here's the thing: you can make this commitment to quit and you can see it through. Life without alcohol is real true, and you can have it if you choose to. Make that vow to quit, and to do whatever you need to do to never drink again. Best to you.

doggonecarl

Great point freshstart. I saw another thread where someone what asking for examples of a recovery plan....

This is one. Get rid of the booze. Another is have something in place for the next time your teenager stresses you (and there will be a next time).

1. The next time I get stressed, instead of drinking, I will...

a. Take a walk
b. Go out into the backyard and scream
c. Watch an episode of Intervention
d. Call my sponsor

SOMETHING

but not drinking.

And do that for all the situations that you will encounter that in the past have led to drinking. Going out, being invited to parties, holidays, vacations, grief, etc.

jaz06

Doggone & freshstart, thank you. I had gotten rid of the stuff that I like, what I had left in my kitchen was normally something I don't care for. Get this...my twisted thinking was 'I'll leave it for guests'. Well, so much for that...it was what I had, so that's what I reached for last night. Didn't matter whether I liked it or not. I'm sabotaging myself before I even get started. Well, what better time than the present? Guess I got myself a project today.