cateyt

Ok so I decided to give up drinking about two weeks ago. I am not an alcoholic but when I drink I will drink the whole weekend consume a vast amount of alcohol and be quite ill the next day. I also tend to say and do stupid things when I drink. So I made the decision to quit drinking and partying all together. The problem is my group of friends are alcoholics and I dont tend to do anything with them bar drinking and taking drugs.
I vowed to myself that I would not see them again. I had been pretty good and stayed in and spent time with other friends shopping and going for lunch. But yesterday when my friend phoned me she begged me to come out. I gave in due to the fact I did want to get out of the house as I currently am unemployed. I ended up drinking alot of alcohol.
I feel really disapointed that my will power is so bad and that I cant say no. I feel like I have let other people down and myself.
Does it get any easier?

MrsKing

Welcome to SR. I'm glad you're here.

Alcoholic or not alcoholic doesn't really matter, in my opinion. If alcohol is causing you issues in your life/mind then it's best that you no longer drink. Or at least stay sober for a good period of time (3 months plus)

What worries me is that despite not wanting to not drink, you drank. This is usually a warning sign - or at least it was for me. I told myself I did not want to drink and that I wouldn't do it, and I drank anyway.

It does get so much easier. But you only truly stop having cravings/desires for alcohol when you have a good amount of sobriety under your belt.

Wishing you all the best x

2granddaughters

Your whole post describes me and I'm an alcoholic... what do you think an alcoholic is ??

All the best.

Bob R

Anna

If you can't control your drinking, then you are likely an alcoholic.

This is a good place to come for support. As you have found, stopping drinking involves making a lot of changes in your life and some hard choices. I couldn't be around people who were drinking for a long time. I think it will get easier when you make some different choices.

DayTrader

AA works great for ppl who don't have the ability to just stop. It's designed for the type of alkies who, for whatever reason, just can't stop and/or stay stopped.

People who don't have the same problems with alcoholism that I have don't get it - no matter how many times or ways they tell me to stop, I couldn't do it......couldn't pull it off.

I found a whooooole lot of ppl who had the same problem, found a solution, and were more than happy to help me get through it.

IndaMiricale

Well I hope you look into yourself for real, and not looking at the label..

I dont know what your defination of alcoholic is , but you described it to me..

You can be free, after you get honest with yourself..

bbthumper

As mentioned, honesty is crucial here. There are two statements in the Big Book of alcoholics anonymous that I find to be really helpful for people trying to figure out if they are alcoholic. "If when you honestly want to you find you cannot quit entirely OR if when you do drink you find you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic."
So maybe ask yourself these questions dealing with choice and control. If you honestly wanted to quit for good, can you? And when you do drink can you always predict how much you are going to have? If you answer no to either of these you may be dealing with a bigger issue than will power can handle.
Best wishes to you.

justhadenough

For me,the first part in staying sober is to stay away from people who drink.Not sure what you define an alcoholic as, as in you aren't one but your friends are. I don't concern myself with definitions,just what happens to me when I drink. If it causes you problems that you want to stop yet can't then it may well be problem.This site is great for help and support in gettingsober

cateyt

I agree. This is why I have decided to stop my drinking habits. I used to have fun while drinking but lately it just isn't worth the hangover and the cringing in the morning. Thank you for your advice it is really appreciated. I think it is time to start trying harded and learning to say no!

cateyt

I have been under the illusion that an alcoholic is someone who drinks everyday and all the time. But obviously after browsing through this forum this is not true and everyone is different. Thank you.

cateyt

I think after many years I have come to realise that it is best to stop now before I develop a serious problem which could happen if I carry on drinking. The change is hard to adapt to even though it has only been a few weeks. I'm trying to distract myself and get some hobbies although so far its just involved watching tv with my family! Thank you for your advice I really appreciate it.

cateyt

I have considered this, but the idea of sitting in a group speaking about myself in front of loads of people TERRIFIES me when Im not drinking im quite shy and suffer a little bit from social anxiety. Thank you for your advice anyway

cateyt

I am trying its just difficult when there is nothing to do all day and the issue of having no money to really do anything apart from drinking. But yes you are right it is time to be honest with myself and make some changes. Thank you for your advice.

cateyt

I have answered the questions to myself and have answered no to one of them. I do not have a control over how much drink I consume and I can never say to myself it is just one or two it always ends up being more.
I think that I can quit for good, but I don't know how to deal with social situations such as new year, birthdays etc. But after a few months I will come to that I suppose. Thank you so much for your advice though.

cateyt

Yes, I am going to have to disconnect myself from my friends who drink. It is a shame but they can do something else that doesn't involve drinking with me and if they don't want to then they are clearly not true friends I suppose...
I have been reading through the forum and have seen there is some great help and support from the users which will make this easier hopefully. Thank you for your help.

Butterfly74

You can do it!
Stay strong...

Dee74

Hi cateyt

The problem with willpower for me was that a lot of my will still wanted to drink.

It wanted to go out with my mates, it wanted to have fun, it wanted to be happy with one or two drinks....it just didn't want all the negative consequences - and when you drink like you or I did - that's just not possible.

I believe I was just as much an alcoholic when I was binge drinking as I was later when I drank all day everyday....but if you don't want to accept the label of alcoholic that's your call.

I think what you do have to accept tho is that you cannot drink and have the life you want - and that you're going to have to make changes in your life, if you want to stay sober.

I know that can feel like a punch in the stomach - but you're not alone - there's a lot of support & ideas here

D

hypochondriac

I hope this doesn't come across as harsh cateyt but what I hear in your post is a lot of excuses. I'm not being critical, I was exactly the same... but it is not your willpower which is at fault here but your thought patterns. There is actually a lot of help available in the UK... if you have a chat to your doctor or speak to someone at drinkline (0800 917 8282), they should be able to sort you out with a counsellor who can help you x

Butterfly74

It will feel like several punches in the stomach like Dee said.
Worth it....punch back!

Keep getting the support!

cateyt

Thank you!