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3 months, getting harder??

Old 09-04-2012, 09:30 PM
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3 months, getting harder??

Hi all,

Welp, just passed the 3 month mark. All in all it was fairly easy with the exception a few really hard times and days here and there. I even got through a vacation with my still drinking husband. That was the second and thrird week of August. My husband flew home and I ended up staying another week with a friend. Really had no urges to drink once he was gone. Since I have gotten back home, it has been another story. We have a friend who we have not seen in a while staying at our house. In the past, we would spend many a night hanging with this friend, while getting wasted. This friend doesn't even really drink, but smokes pot and will have a few beers with us. Anyway, unexpectedly, this guy is a huge drinking trigger for me. Add to that my husband has been drinking more than usual since our friend is here. I have smoked pot 3 times now since giving it up along with drinking. It is not even getting me high nor making me feel good, in fact, I have just been tired and gotten a headache. I have been wanting to drink pretty badly and been trying to convince myself that it is ok to drink for various reasons. I am especially getting annoyed and angry with the fact that it just seems like my husband and I are not on the same page with how we want to live. I've been feeling like "if you can't beat 'em join 'em" lately, but I know deep down that will not make me happy. I don't even want to deal with or see my husband drunk, it just pisses me off. I'm trying to do what is right for me, but still I feel horrible about life.
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Old 09-04-2012, 09:38 PM
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Don't smoke pot, it will trigger you, using any drug will bring you back to drinking. Pot was my original drug and if I drank I would immediately want pot and the feeling would stick for days, it goes the other way too.

People have said that it does get easier over time, but the cravings will come and go, they won't leave forever. Three months is a pretty long time, if you drink now it will be a long road of guilt and disappointment. I always ask myself "If I don't say no this time, then when will I?" The answer is never, next time will never come and only once is one times too many. We've all heard that voice before and it's an outright lie, don't listen to it.
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Old 09-04-2012, 11:12 PM
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^What Admiral said.

It seems that taking up the pot can only help to reinforce patterns of behavior that you've worked hard to change over these several months. I think you need to talk to your spouse, both about the presence of his friend and how their behavior is influencing you. Also, it seems that your husband's alcohol use could be an issue, at least in terms of making it tougher for you to get some space from your old life. If you were to bring these things up, do you think that he would be supportive? I do hope so.
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Old 09-05-2012, 07:44 AM
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Yes, Thank you Amiral. I think that I haven't broken down and had a drink because I know that it is a slippery slope and I will end up right where I was 3 months ago, and the other 2 months before that when I quit. Fortunately, smoking pot just isn't effecting me the way it use to, I really have no explanation as to why. Maybe because I don't really want to do it in the first place, like a psychological block.

In regards to talking to my husband, I have done this both calmly and in an angry rage. He does alright for a bit, and has good intentions, but he always winds up (surprise) going on a binge every 3 or 4 days. I guess the "binges" have just become more often since our friend is around. I suppose he is a trigger for my husband as well. Last night I just ended up eating dinner alone, (because they were outside drinking) and then doing my own thing, since hanging out all night really has no appeal for me anymore. I have a therapist now, and see her today so i will talk about it. I'm just proud of myself that I didn't drink this past week.
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