MycoolFitz

I said something I thought was in jest and it hurt her. When will I learn to think first and act later? I know I'm too impulsive, probably part of my drinking problem. I've hurt people including myself, not through intent but unthinking action. Instant karma. Tonight I will not drink and I will meditate on my responsibilty as a human being. It was so easy to cause harm when I did not remember or think I had too much to drink, now its up to me to accept responsibility for me. My PTSD therapist would say soldier up. Never get a ex Marine DI as a therapist. they make you look at yourself. What a picture.

sissy07

Learn from it, but don't beat yourself up - it won't change anything. I have done the same thing - many times unfortunately. I am trying to think before spouting off one of my what-I-think-is-humorous comments. It was not an intentional action of hurt on your part.

tomsteve

if ya dont look at yerself, ya aint gonna get weller. after all, the problem is you.

MycoolFitz

You're a hard ass, which is a complement. You good be a Jarhead. Man if I wasn't looking I'd be sucking. I assume full responsibilty for my life but am interested in cause and effect. It's all good we can all make it.

Dee74

I think you're too hard on yourself Fitz - and I think sometimes you're way too ready to accept blame for things you may not be at fault with.

Noone's perfect - everyone of us has misspoke at one time or another.
Try to make amends, put things right - then let it go man

D

ReadyAndAble

Hey, Fitz.

I've had days like that, where I felt I blew it in a huge, horrible way. The crazy thing is, I'm having trouble remembering exactly what I did that was so horrible all those times...Hmmm... Makes me wonder if maybe they weren't such horrible mistakes after all, maybe they just seemed that way at the time?

Pretend for a second that some other guy made the same mistake. Unintentionally, just like you. Would you be yelling at the guy right now, beating him up over it? My guess is you'd remind him that at worst it's just a case of bruised feelings, and after all, everyone makes mistakes. Take it easy on yourself, OK? You've earned it.

tomsteve

my man, if that means im a hard ass, then so be it. when i got into recovery, i was a thick headed,stubborn man. i needed people to tell me like it is. if they babied me, they'd bury me.
i also agree with carol. throw out the arse kikin machine.
i was also very very good for taking accountability for things i had no part in. whne them hard asses broke out the crowbar and popped my head outta my ass, and i startted workin the steps of AA, i saw just how wonderful my self esteem was. in my mind i was a complete screw up. it didnt matter if i was involved or not, i caused everything bad to happen. it took a lot of work to change my thinkin and see i was only accountable for my part in this world and was/am powerless over everythig else.

heres a suggestion for ya. go into the bathroom, look in the mirror and tell yerself," i'm not a bad person, im a sick person, but i love myself and will put in the footwork to get weller."

nonblondechef

Hey Fitz - I've am down to 3 pairs of shoes because I have put my foot in my mouth so many times over the past decade. I understand how you feel but agree with everyone - we have to let go and not obsess over those human infractions. Apologize and move forward. You got this!

michelle01

I'm going to agree that nobody's perfect, we all make mistakes. Many alcoholics I think are perfectionists by nature. These days, if I do something wrong I will try to make the amends that I can, say sorry I may not have meant something that way, I may have been projecting something onto somebody else. But then I will let it go and put it down to a learning experience. Not really anything else you can do. I don't think that you have to pay debts or karma forever.