In a tight spot
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Philly
Posts: 17
In a tight spot
I can't stop drinking. I need help. If only it were that easy.
I've done a sickeningly good job at keeping my drinking secret from the people closest to me. Nobody has a clue.
I am a high functioning alcoholic. Good job and all that. No arrests, money problems, relationships destroyed, etc.
I drink myself to sleep every night.
If I go to rehab, I WILL lose my job, and probably my professional licenses. Getting a new job in my field would be nearly impossible. Let's just say I've sunk a lot of time and money on my education, and my field does not look kindly upon people in recovery.
I can probably keep my job while doing a week or so of inpatient detox (I need it). I'm willing to do IOP and/or meetings afterward. I've called programs and they all expect a much longer inpatient time commitment than I'm willing to do. I just want to kick the physical dependency and do what I need to keep sober on an outpatient basis.
To those who say "you'll lose it all eventually": maybe so, but I'll lose my livelihood and more if I go to rehab.
To those who say "your employer should be more understanding" or "that's illegal because it's a medical condition": I agree, and no, it isn't.
I understand that AA has been the magic bullet for many people on this board. But I need more than that to quit, at least at first.
I want help but don't want to lose everything in the process.
So yeah, I'm in a tight spot.
I've done a sickeningly good job at keeping my drinking secret from the people closest to me. Nobody has a clue.
I am a high functioning alcoholic. Good job and all that. No arrests, money problems, relationships destroyed, etc.
I drink myself to sleep every night.
If I go to rehab, I WILL lose my job, and probably my professional licenses. Getting a new job in my field would be nearly impossible. Let's just say I've sunk a lot of time and money on my education, and my field does not look kindly upon people in recovery.
I can probably keep my job while doing a week or so of inpatient detox (I need it). I'm willing to do IOP and/or meetings afterward. I've called programs and they all expect a much longer inpatient time commitment than I'm willing to do. I just want to kick the physical dependency and do what I need to keep sober on an outpatient basis.
To those who say "you'll lose it all eventually": maybe so, but I'll lose my livelihood and more if I go to rehab.
To those who say "your employer should be more understanding" or "that's illegal because it's a medical condition": I agree, and no, it isn't.
I understand that AA has been the magic bullet for many people on this board. But I need more than that to quit, at least at first.
I want help but don't want to lose everything in the process.
So yeah, I'm in a tight spot.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 1,225
Have you tried AA before and it didn't help? You are limiting your resources by not reaching out for help.
There are other ways to recovery that you will read on these boards, but you need a plan for your recovery,
I went the traditional way - straight from the drinking to AA with no rehab so I cannot advice you alternatives out there.
There are other ways to recovery that you will read on these boards, but you need a plan for your recovery,
I went the traditional way - straight from the drinking to AA with no rehab so I cannot advice you alternatives out there.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Welcome spicymustard 
I think, if we want change, we need to make changes - there's no short cuts there.
If you're convinced going to rehab will lose you your job - why not look at other options like recovery programmes (AA SMART etc)
you could start on those right away
You could see your Dr right away too - make a clean breast of things...they may have other suggestions and ideas for you
you'll find a lot of support and encouragement here
D
I think, if we want change, we need to make changes - there's no short cuts there.
If you're convinced going to rehab will lose you your job - why not look at other options like recovery programmes (AA SMART etc)
you could start on those right away
You could see your Dr right away too - make a clean breast of things...they may have other suggestions and ideas for you
you'll find a lot of support and encouragement here
D
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 328
First of all, welcome!
Second of all, many of us found they hadn't done nearly as good a job of hiding their drinking as they thought they did (for those who hid it). You might be surprised how many around you might have a hunch.
Third of all, could you tell us what your field is. There could be some who have been in a similar situation who could be able to give you more precise ideas on how to deal with it.
If you feel AA would be insufficient and rehab too public, maybe you could look into therapy or counseling. In any case, I wish you good luck.
Second of all, many of us found they hadn't done nearly as good a job of hiding their drinking as they thought they did (for those who hid it). You might be surprised how many around you might have a hunch.
Third of all, could you tell us what your field is. There could be some who have been in a similar situation who could be able to give you more precise ideas on how to deal with it.
If you feel AA would be insufficient and rehab too public, maybe you could look into therapy or counseling. In any case, I wish you good luck.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 117
Spicymustard, I feel you. I am also very high functioning--married, kids, great job. Have been drinking heavily, daily for close to 20 years and no one has any idea of the extent. A lot of us have gone to great lengths to keep our alcoholism a secret.
I finally, finally admitted to my doctor that I have a drinking problem (no, not my spouse, children or best friends) and she is helping me. Actually, it felt really good to share my secret, face to face, with another human being. I won't be doing rehab, but I am supposed to check in with her toward the end of the week, or she will check in with me. She also has me on meds for the anxiety I will be experiencing.
At this point, I will still not be sharing with my loved ones or my job. I may have to at a later date though and the thought of that is really scary. I am just trying to take one day, this day, at a time.
If you think you need more than AA but can't do rehab, at least visit with your doctor. I was surprised at how supportive and non-judgemental mine was about the whole thing. Why not give it a try?
I finally, finally admitted to my doctor that I have a drinking problem (no, not my spouse, children or best friends) and she is helping me. Actually, it felt really good to share my secret, face to face, with another human being. I won't be doing rehab, but I am supposed to check in with her toward the end of the week, or she will check in with me. She also has me on meds for the anxiety I will be experiencing.
At this point, I will still not be sharing with my loved ones or my job. I may have to at a later date though and the thought of that is really scary. I am just trying to take one day, this day, at a time.
If you think you need more than AA but can't do rehab, at least visit with your doctor. I was surprised at how supportive and non-judgemental mine was about the whole thing. Why not give it a try?
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,964
We have specific meetings just for lawyers in the Washington DC area. Go see your doctor, detox in the hospital or by doctor's supervision and go to AA. Those steps will save your life. listen to xa-speakers.org.
You aren't alone anymore.
Love & hugs,
You aren't alone anymore.
Love & hugs,
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,498
Hi,
It's not at all necessary to tell us what field you work in, so please feel certain that your anonymity is safe here. You can divulge as much or as little as you like.
That said, I hope that you will do whatever you need to do to stop drinking. I know how scary it is when you don't know how to manage. I did a home detox which I don't recommend, and it's good that you're looking at getting medical supervision.
It's not at all necessary to tell us what field you work in, so please feel certain that your anonymity is safe here. You can divulge as much or as little as you like.
That said, I hope that you will do whatever you need to do to stop drinking. I know how scary it is when you don't know how to manage. I did a home detox which I don't recommend, and it's good that you're looking at getting medical supervision.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 328
I didn't mean to pressure you into divulging more information than you wanted to. Sorry about that. Taking a week off for in-patient detox would be a good idea if you feel you need it. Better safe than sorry.
Perhaps by talking to the detox people in person and explaining your situation to them they would be more flexible on how much time you need to be interned. I doubt you'd be the first guy they meet who can't take more than a week off work...
Perhaps by talking to the detox people in person and explaining your situation to them they would be more flexible on how much time you need to be interned. I doubt you'd be the first guy they meet who can't take more than a week off work...
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome...
The Salvation Army offers free short term de tox facilities
in many areas. I've dropped off many alcoholics who wish
to be anonymous.
That way your insurance will not be notified if that is a concern.
The Salvation Army offers free short term de tox facilities
in many areas. I've dropped off many alcoholics who wish
to be anonymous.
That way your insurance will not be notified if that is a concern.
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