akalacha

It's been one week since I went to the airport with my now exA to see him off as he left to move back to the U.S. I was a wreck for days, couldn't stop crying. As horrible as the last year was, I still miss him. And I'm worried about him. His health was bad and he was admitted to intensive care last week. I haven't had any news in days. I've been resisting the urge to email or call, but I may have to for my own peace of mind. (Yes, we are EX but parted on good terms. I still care about him and would like to know how he is.) And the little habits are taking time to go away. I knocked on his door a few days ago to let him know I was going to the market before I realized he wasn't there. I mean, I KNEW he wasn't there, but it was just one of those little things done without conscious thought. On the positive side, it is getting a little easier each day. I'm focusing on all the good things about having my life back and doing my best to push away the painful thoughts about how good things used to be, how much I love him, the future we were supposed to have together, blah, blah blah. I'm now concentrating on MY future and doing what I can to move forward little by little. It still hurts, but not as much. It's going to take time, but I think I'm going to be OK.

marie1960

I think you are going to be ok too.

Try and remember to do something nice for yourself each day.

The fog will eventually lift, and I am here to say there is a glorious blue sky waiting.

Take care.

SoaringSpirits

Thinking about you sweetie.
You and me both, we will be OK in the end.
Hang in there, I know how much it hurts.
You are not alone.

~Soaring Spirits

ZiggyB

Hi,
I know the feeling, of course you still miss him and what the relationship was when it was good. There is a grieving process to go through where you may feel sad for a while. It sounds like you are hopeful though and that's great. I bet you will be fine soon.

dollydo

Allow yourself time to grieve, this too shall pass.

Keep posting, it will help.

My best...Dolly

akalacha

Today I started cleaning out the room he was staying in for the past year. UGH! Too many empty liquor bottles to count, dirty clothes & towels all over, dirty cups, bowls, plates, etc. At first I was angry at the mess he left me to deal with. But then I remembered how sick he was the last few months- He was too sick to pack, I had to do it for him. He took one suitcase and I tried to pack the things that I thought he would want. It broke my heart seeing all the things he left behind-favorite shirts, hats, CDs, trinkets, guitar, etc. I will keep a few things in case he wants me to send them to him. Much had to be thrown out because it was too nasty. Some of his nice clothes that are still in good condition I will give away and a few things I will sell at the resale shop. This brought back all the sadness that I've been starting to get past. I guess that's just how it's going to be for awhile-up and down, good days and sad.