MycoolFitz

I've been having strange dreams and flashbacks. It may just be me but sometimes I can't let the past go. It just comes up. Today I took a nap, hot holiday, and dreamed I had a bottle of booze in bed that I was sipping. I used to do that. When I woke up I could taste it and smell and looked for it. I got up and had a fruit drink but it was so real it stayed with me. So I'll try to let it go but it clings.

DAB

I have had dreams that I was drinking that seemed very real too.
I would wake up feeling really guilty, like I blew it. Then I would realize it was just a dream and feel so relieved.
I've been sober over 10 months now and still get them from time to time.

Grace2

Hi

this happens to me all the time. I'm only on day 17 but the flashbacks are constant, they pop up from no-where, I can be driving, working, anything and they just pop up into my head, filling me with shame. I dreamt last week that I was drinking and woke up in a sweat panicking.

Apparently, they do stop eventually, but I tell myself that they are just little reminders of how bad things were.

Big hugs

Gx

sugarbear1

Fitz, you are strong, you can get through all of this. Keep going to AA and work those steps. Find your patterns of dealing with your fears, you'll find relief and freedom in those steps!

Love & hugs,

GirlFromCO

I've often wondered that myself, Fitz. Time heals <3

Butterfly74

How ironic.

Just this morning I woke up from a dream ..shook my husband awake and asked him "why in the hell did he give that pill to me!?"
I quickly apologized when I realized it was a dream.

I guess it doesn't matter the addiction.
The mind plays the same games.
We can get through all this....Stay Strong!

Blessings and hugs.

Caledonia1

I'm sorry you're experiencing these dreams but thank you for sharing as I too have experienced similar dreaded drink dreams.

Apparently they do disappear graduallly as we get stronger.

Well done you. Stay strong.

flutter

My counselor was the first (and only) person in my life to acknowledge and bring up how traumatic being an active alcoholic was for me (all of us). I was like.. wow, I really hadn't though of that, I spent so much time shaming myself, guilting myself, regretting choices I had made, etc.. I really had never thought of how horrible it was to live through that experience. He also helped me work through it, I sure couldn't have done that by myself.

penny74

Not everything...

havfaith

I have brought this same thing up in an AA meeting. That I read about PTSD, and my dad has it from Vietnam(which of course is not comparable really....) and the manic anxiety attacks, and such things like the dreams...the symptoms are spot on with PTSD. I do believe we all who hit rock bottom with any addiction must have some type of this.
Thank you for posting this, I got bizarre looks from some people at the meeting when asking if it's possible. And to see people post here in agreement is awesome.

Lenina

Fitz,

I do think theres a point where our addictions are traumatic. The stupid stuff we say and do. The dangerous places we go, the bad things we do. DUI, jails, fights, all that crazy stuff. I think women are especially victims to this. We have extra stigma, the drunken woman. We get into shady situations that are totally against our own moral codes.

So, yes I do think there is a good deal of PTSD with addictions. Good point for discussion,

Love from Lenina

MycoolFitz

I wouldn't disvalue it from In Country. I lost brothers but in drinking I lost my family. I think its all about healing but I still don't like to sleep at night. I am getting treatment but I think my therapist should too.

sugarbear1

Focus on you, Fitz, that is enough for now!

Hugs,

tomsteve

i dont think i have heard of PTSD being a part of recovering from alcoholism, but i am sure i could have rationalized it into existance if i wanted it to be. not letting the past go is a choice. however, i couldnt let my past go until i looked at it and used it to see what made me tick.
the dreams are common. for me, they were more real than any other dreams i would have. as i put in the footwork to see what made me tick and the footwork to change me, the dreams deminished. i stilll get em once in a while, but i wake up with gratitude that they are only dreams. i am poweress over what i dream.

Lenina

If you look at the Steps, you can see (anyway,I do) the way to heal from our past of drinking. We list the wrongs we've done, we make things rights, we forgive and let go. Sometimes it's harder to forgive ourselves, I think, for the absolutely insane stuff we did under the influence. I know I used to hold myself to a higher standard of behavior than others.

it's been helpful for me to set things right with myself as well as the others I harmed in my disease.

love from Lenina

MycoolFitz

Its a choice and process, I work on it daily. I'm not a victim, I,m recoverying. My only point was the connection between my drinking and my experience. I don't have an answer or an argument just a curiosity.

GirlFromCO

My bad. I thought this was the place we all come to share our experience, strength, and what was that other one....? Oh yeah, where we come to share our HOPE with other members who might be struggling. Guess I was thinking about that OTHER website all those people go to find a reason to keep going when it seems like the hell they're living in now will never end. Oopsie!

MycoolFitz

Dang I don't mean to raise conflict, To quote a song, love peace and understanding but above all sobriety and acceptance, I have been drinking for 50 years, I just want peace and acceptance. I don't care how hard it is I want to die sober. My dad died at 82, 7 years sober, My hero.

Zee

I sometimes have drink dreams (where my liver is fixed and I'm allowed to drink) for me, I'm guessing its because I think about alcohol everyday, about my condition, being here on SR, other people around me drinking etc etc... I'm just an alcoholic who took it too far. Our dreams are just our subconsious. I don't worry too much about it... I'm usually grateful I can raise my head from the pillow! x

TTBABP

I get your reason for this post GirlFromCO but maybe Penny just needs a little sympathy and/or understanding. If that is the case Penny - whatever you haven't healed from I hope you can learn to live with it the best you can and have some peace.

Don't want to take focus from you Fitz - this is your thread. I quit smoking about 7 months ago and still have dreams of hiding behind a shed smoking pack after pack - I wake up feeling so guilty until I realize it was a dream. We spend so much time on and with our addictions that I guess it just takes times to completly wean ourselves away even when we have stopped the actual act of our addiction

Take good care of yourself and your needs and hopefully it will get better.