I cannot stress this enough!
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
I cannot stress this enough!
This whole thing is truly a singular journey!
Life is of course.... We are born and die singularly.
But being abstinent and staying that way is up to us and only us.
I woke up this morning rather proud of my sober Sunday and got so much done.
Groceries, cat boxes cleaned, laundry, even returned a dog that escaped from my neighbors yard.
And then.... And then.... HE got up.
With a miserable attitude.
Depressed nature.
Slept late... Chose to eat lunch at 9am in a dark bedroom watching inane tv shows. And asked for dinner to be early.
If you are getting sober with someone else, partner, husband, wife.... Make sure you have places to go and things planned that are yours alone.
Time to execute plan B today.... No make that plan K!
Sad when the one you love cannot be fixed on demand.
It is, after all, a singular journey.
Ken
Life is of course.... We are born and die singularly.
But being abstinent and staying that way is up to us and only us.
I woke up this morning rather proud of my sober Sunday and got so much done.
Groceries, cat boxes cleaned, laundry, even returned a dog that escaped from my neighbors yard.
And then.... And then.... HE got up.
With a miserable attitude.
Depressed nature.
Slept late... Chose to eat lunch at 9am in a dark bedroom watching inane tv shows. And asked for dinner to be early.
If you are getting sober with someone else, partner, husband, wife.... Make sure you have places to go and things planned that are yours alone.
Time to execute plan B today.... No make that plan K!
Sad when the one you love cannot be fixed on demand.
It is, after all, a singular journey.
Ken
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Hey Ken
It is a singular journey. I hope that you are able to detach from your partner a little so that you do not get affected by his mood. Plan K sounds good. I need to make sure that I have plans A through K set. Happy Holiday!
It is a singular journey. I hope that you are able to detach from your partner a little so that you do not get affected by his mood. Plan K sounds good. I need to make sure that I have plans A through K set. Happy Holiday!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
Hi Weasel,
Sorry you have to deal with the negativity. A long time ago when I became sober for an extended period of time my ex-husband was a raging alcoholic also, and he would not get sober - he had absolutely no desire to do so. It was a drag to deal with him being newly sober, but I actually used his negative behavior to positively enforce what I was doing. He was not only annoying, but he became an embarrassment - and as time went on, I began to see how reckless his behavior was, and how many unneccessary problems and hassles it was causing - as well as how dangerous and stupid it was. His drunken behavior mirrored mine to a T, and I did not like what I saw! He validated sobriety to me. I think you are already seeing it that way, but wanted to add my experience. Take care.
Sorry you have to deal with the negativity. A long time ago when I became sober for an extended period of time my ex-husband was a raging alcoholic also, and he would not get sober - he had absolutely no desire to do so. It was a drag to deal with him being newly sober, but I actually used his negative behavior to positively enforce what I was doing. He was not only annoying, but he became an embarrassment - and as time went on, I began to see how reckless his behavior was, and how many unneccessary problems and hassles it was causing - as well as how dangerous and stupid it was. His drunken behavior mirrored mine to a T, and I did not like what I saw! He validated sobriety to me. I think you are already seeing it that way, but wanted to add my experience. Take care.
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Sissy... Thank you. It is frustrating to have someone wake up in a mood completely opposite of yours.
I am stong today and can do this. But there are days I am not. And this does not help.
Thanks Mizzuno!
I am stong today and can do this. But there are days I am not. And this does not help.
Thanks Mizzuno!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
Weasel,
I know it is hard to be around it....kind of sucks the life out of you if you let it.
Once I respected myself enough to care, I realized that I had to save myself. No one could have made me quit drinking but me. Lord knows they tried....and my life was in shambles. I ended up leaving him. I do NOT advocate divorce, I am just saying that is what I had to do. It felt like letting go of an anchor, if you get my drift.
Just try to do some things that you can enjoy by yourself when you want or need to be at home. Cook something special, plant something, start a craft project, find a good book, watch a new movie, etc. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. Please keep us updated and know that we care and empathize. Take care. eidt - I wanted to add something: in the beginning I didn't feel like doing much of anything, so if you don't feel like "a new craft project" , etc., just go outside and enjoy being sober. Seriously.
I know it is hard to be around it....kind of sucks the life out of you if you let it.
Once I respected myself enough to care, I realized that I had to save myself. No one could have made me quit drinking but me. Lord knows they tried....and my life was in shambles. I ended up leaving him. I do NOT advocate divorce, I am just saying that is what I had to do. It felt like letting go of an anchor, if you get my drift.
Just try to do some things that you can enjoy by yourself when you want or need to be at home. Cook something special, plant something, start a craft project, find a good book, watch a new movie, etc. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. Please keep us updated and know that we care and empathize. Take care. eidt - I wanted to add something: in the beginning I didn't feel like doing much of anything, so if you don't feel like "a new craft project" , etc., just go outside and enjoy being sober. Seriously.
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