does anybody know if the police will help?

Old 09-02-2012, 11:57 PM
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does anybody know if the police will help?

Any experience will be greatly appreciated...
Im out of the country on vacation...coming home on Thursday... my recovering husband is in my house.... based on certain lying/hiding behaviors..(and he's cheated on me both using and sober) I've decided I've had enough and i want him gone...out of my home and my life....
He's been living with me since he got clean (100 days).
I rent... but he is not on the lease.... i live in a big building so nobody has noticed.
I only have access to email and internet until i come back... I've emailed him and asked him to be gone when i return and that i will call the cops if he is there.
I will have family with me to support me. can he stay because we are married? he has been violent before (usually physical intimidation) and laid his hands on me twice. im sorry im so confused. 5 years of my life down the crapper but not a second more.
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Old 09-03-2012, 03:49 AM
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In my state, if you are receiving mail at an address, it is considered your home. Perhaps if you are staying somewhere while not listed as an occupant on the lease, it would be easier to get him out. You don't have to tell them that you have allowed him to stay there. Are you legally separated?
Since he has been violent, might be a good idea to have the police there when you arrive, so they can make it safer for you.
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Old 09-03-2012, 04:30 AM
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In my state if someone has been living at a residence for a short amount of time (forget exact number but isn't long) it is considered their residence and they pretty much have to be evicted to get them out. Like the formal eviction process.

Here is to hoping and praying that he just leaves. Maybe if you did have the cops around that would just freak him out enough to leave.

I'm sorry you are in this situation. Good luck and stay strong!
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Old 09-03-2012, 05:01 AM
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Originally Posted by oneday66 View Post
Any experience will be greatly appreciated...
Im out of the country on vacation...coming home on Thursday... my recovering husband is in my house.... based on certain lying/hiding behaviors..(and he's cheated on me both using and sober) I've decided I've had enough and i want him gone...out of my home and my life....
He's been living with me since he got clean (100 days).
I rent... but he is not on the lease.... i live in a big building so nobody has noticed.
I only have access to email and internet until i come back... I've emailed him and asked him to be gone when i return and that i will call the cops if he is there.
I will have family with me to support me. can he stay because we are married? he has been violent before (usually physical intimidation) and laid his hands on me twice. im sorry im so confused. 5 years of my life down the crapper but not a second more.
i am sorry to read of your predicament, but also glad to read of your actions to get out of it.
you may want to contact the building manager/owner and explain the situation. they should know the laws of the state and what ya have to legally do to get him out.
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Old 09-03-2012, 05:49 AM
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California is one of those states where it is necessary to pursue a court order for exclusive occupancy/ eviction. The local police have no authority to remove anyone unless there is domestic violence.

If there is a Police record of prior domestic violence it , you may be able to obtain a restraining order.

Consult an attorney.
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Old 09-03-2012, 06:44 AM
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In my state, if you are legally married, you are partners.
They expect partners, to act like partners, not have a problem living together.
Or to work out, having separate residences, and treat each other with respect.

If you are legally separated, going through a divorce. Then they will get more involved.
Especially if you have the assets, for 2 residences. But usually it takes a sheriff's warrant, and a 30 day notice.

If you are afraid of your husband, go to a hotel when you get home. See an attorney, immediately. Find out, what your legal rights are. Keep in mind, you are legally married. Until you change that. There is not much they can do for you.
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Old 09-03-2012, 10:29 AM
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Thank you
im going to a hotel
he will leave... i just don't know when or how
but at the latest end of month
im glad i have clarity that this part of my life is over
someone here said i married a fantasy... its nice to wake up from this
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Old 09-03-2012, 11:47 AM
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Glad to see you are taking action to take care of yourself - I am sorry you need to be going through this! Being in CA myself I have a little bit of experience....I would suggest your first stop when home is an attorney or a service that will start divorce proceedings for you. Filing for separation will go a long way to giving you the ability to keep things financially and physically separate - police will be able to help out more too if need be.

Hang in there.....your life is about to get a lot calmer!
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