hypnosis?
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hypnosis?
My RABF truly hates AA. He was in an outpatient program and it worked for a bit but he despised it. He is a big homebody and hates talking to strangers about what is going on. It didnt help that one of the women in the IOP program is known as the town gossip. after hearing she told several people about him i ended up calling the head of the program and letting them know...he does not know she did that, nor does he know that i called, i just felt it would compromise his recovery.
Anyway, I was wondering if anyone knows someone that has tried the hypnosis route? Did it work? Help at all? He is determined to get better so he would be going in at a great place. I have also seen hypnosis for stress management which is where i think most of his drinking stems from. Anyone know someone that tried?
Also, is it wrong to go in the alcoholics section and ask if anyone has tried hypnosis? I know people should stick to posting in their own section, but I thought maybe if someone there tried i could get some feedback. I know i have seen some alcoholics post in here sometimes.
Anyway, I was wondering if anyone knows someone that has tried the hypnosis route? Did it work? Help at all? He is determined to get better so he would be going in at a great place. I have also seen hypnosis for stress management which is where i think most of his drinking stems from. Anyone know someone that tried?
Also, is it wrong to go in the alcoholics section and ask if anyone has tried hypnosis? I know people should stick to posting in their own section, but I thought maybe if someone there tried i could get some feedback. I know i have seen some alcoholics post in here sometimes.
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I have never heard it discussed, but, a google search might turn up something.
My thoughts are that hypnosis can help for stress---but, the person has to be very motivated, because no one can be hypnotized against their will. I have heard that even A's who are willing to begin AA are still partially resistant because that inner battle with the compulsion to drink is still present.
dandylion
My thoughts are that hypnosis can help for stress---but, the person has to be very motivated, because no one can be hypnotized against their will. I have heard that even A's who are willing to begin AA are still partially resistant because that inner battle with the compulsion to drink is still present.
dandylion
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well--i honestly am very confused by what he is. i do not believe he is an alcoholic. He has problems with his pancreas. Problems where whenever he drinks he ends up in the hospital. anyway, he hadnt drank since june but i found out he had one beer at a wedding we went to, and a glass of wine at his friends tasting for his wedding. But that was it. My understanding of alcoholism is that one drink would lead to more. I don't believe alcoholics could stop at one beer and not drink any more that night or the days after? Maybe I am wrong. I believe his problem stems more from wanting to hang with his friends and be able to get drunk. the only time he has drank since deciding to become sober is when a drink is placed directly in front of him-basically begging him to drink it. Now i know it is his decision to drink it, believe me i know that. and he is an idiot for drinking it, i know that to. but I have trouble figuring him out. he owns several businesses so i know he is crazy stressed, so i was thinking maybe a mixture of hypnosis for stress management/alcoholism might help? I mean heck what could it hurt right?
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He is lying to you, mutiply what he has told you by 4 you maybe a little closer to the truth.
This is his problem to resolve, not yours. Take some time to work on you, your codependency.
He is not an RA if he is still drinking and not in a solid recovery program, his babble about hating AA and any other structured recovery program is all BS, I have heard that a thousand times on this board...it is all an excuse, if he wants recovery there is a program out there for him, and, it is his responsibility to find it...not yours.
This is his problem to resolve, not yours. Take some time to work on you, your codependency.
He is not an RA if he is still drinking and not in a solid recovery program, his babble about hating AA and any other structured recovery program is all BS, I have heard that a thousand times on this board...it is all an excuse, if he wants recovery there is a program out there for him, and, it is his responsibility to find it...not yours.
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Dolly do-if he had more than one beer or more than one glass of wine he would have been in the hospital. its pretty hard for him to lie when it comes to how much he drinks. and he does want recovery-i know he does because i have seen the pain he endurs when in pain with his pancreas. I am sorry for whatever you dealt with or went through, but your negativity is really not needed. I feel like I can no longer come here to get support or vent. I find that very sad. This is supposed to be a place for support.
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Dear Kate, I will share with you what I know about pancreatitis and alcohol. I was the medical co-ordinator for an alcoholism program in a major HMO for several years. I first met many of my patients when they were admitted for pancreatitis---many of them were writhing in pain and vomiting non-stop. You are right--it is VERY painful. When we got to the bottom of it, the pancreatitis invariably was triggered within a few days of binge drinking--more than just one or two drinks. When I would first ask them, "have you been drinking any alcohol", they would almost invariably say that they "had a couple". Not unlike the person who tells the cop--"yea, I had a couple of glasses of wine with dinner"--=when, in reality, they blew several times the legal limit...LOL.
It is also quite common that alcoholics can "white knuckle" it for certain periods of time. Like, when they are trying to convince themselves that they can control it---or when they are in public for fear of scrutiny by others.
Of course, there are other causes of pancreatitis besides alcohol. But, in an otherwise healthy, fairly young (early middle age or younger) person, it is by far the most frequent cause.
Kate, many people here, on the board, have a long history of dealing with alcoholism, and have accumulated a great deal of knowledge about the patterns as a result of their own painful experiences of dealing with their loved ones. They don't intend to be mean to you---it is just that they are trying to give you the honest truth---straight up. Just like if you were to talk to a recovered alcoholic from AA---they won't mince any words. They will, most likely, figure that if you cared enough to ask, you deserve the unvarnished truth.
I, personally, know from dealing with my own A's (loved ones), that we are so desperate for them to get treatment that we will bend over backwards to cater to their particular whims or objections. Once we catch on to the real nature of the disease we realize that we are just playing into their hands (without knowing that).
Kate, you will find so much support and education from the people on this board, if you just hang in---because we hve all been in your shoes in one way or another.
This disease is so tough and there is soooo much to learn. I know I did,
dandylion
It is also quite common that alcoholics can "white knuckle" it for certain periods of time. Like, when they are trying to convince themselves that they can control it---or when they are in public for fear of scrutiny by others.
Of course, there are other causes of pancreatitis besides alcohol. But, in an otherwise healthy, fairly young (early middle age or younger) person, it is by far the most frequent cause.
Kate, many people here, on the board, have a long history of dealing with alcoholism, and have accumulated a great deal of knowledge about the patterns as a result of their own painful experiences of dealing with their loved ones. They don't intend to be mean to you---it is just that they are trying to give you the honest truth---straight up. Just like if you were to talk to a recovered alcoholic from AA---they won't mince any words. They will, most likely, figure that if you cared enough to ask, you deserve the unvarnished truth.
I, personally, know from dealing with my own A's (loved ones), that we are so desperate for them to get treatment that we will bend over backwards to cater to their particular whims or objections. Once we catch on to the real nature of the disease we realize that we are just playing into their hands (without knowing that).
Kate, you will find so much support and education from the people on this board, if you just hang in---because we hve all been in your shoes in one way or another.
This disease is so tough and there is soooo much to learn. I know I did,
dandylion
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Choublak, I just gotta say---I have heard of hypnosis tried for just about everything under the sun---but, to quit cheating---that is a new one on me!!
Not to minimize the pain of your family situation, of course.
dandylion
Not to minimize the pain of your family situation, of course.
dandylion
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Originally Posted by dandylion 
Choublak, I just gotta say---I have heard of hypnosis tried for just about everything under the sun---but, to quit cheating---that is a new one on me!!
Not to minimize the pain of your family situation, of course.
dandylion
Not to minimize the pain of your family situation, of course.
dandylion
Yeah, I don't know either.
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Originally Posted by Freedom1990
I'm curious as to what alcoholism looks like to you, or just what you think an alcoholic is. 
Let me just say it for you though since I know what everyone will say anyway-"he didnt just have one. He had several. Your an idiot that cant see what is right in front of you. leave him."
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Originally Posted by Kate5858
I dont know but I wasnt under the impression that they could have one glass of wine and stop. I thought the nature of the disease was that they were unable to stop.
Let me just say it for you though since I know what everyone will say anyway-"he didnt just have one. He had several. Your an idiot that cant see what is right in front of you. leave him."
Let me just say it for you though since I know what everyone will say anyway-"he didnt just have one. He had several. Your an idiot that cant see what is right in front of you. leave him."
I do appreciate you answering my question.There were times I did have just one while still an active alcoholic, although that was few and far between.
Actually, I couldn't even make it through a six-pack in one sitting. I was a lightweight who certainly didn't need much to be intoxicated and impaired.
I didn't drink every day. I didn't drink till I passed out. I didn't drink out of a brown paper bag, I was never homeless, I never had a DUI. The list could go on and on.
There is a guy in AA my former sponsor knows who only drank once a year. He's been sober and in AA for over 20 years now. He has blossomed. Sounds crazy, doesn't it, once a year and an alcoholic?
This guy is like me, his disease is threefold...physical, emotional, and spiritual.
He addresses all three of those areas in his recovery, just like I do.
My disease lives right between my ears, not in a bottle or glass of alcohol. My best ideas damned near killed me. I was told more than once by AA members early in my recovery that I just might be one of those people who are just too smart to stay sober.
As for hypnosis, I can't arrest my alcoholism through hypnosis anymore than I can arrest my diabetes through hypnosis.
Since your boyfriend isn't an alcoholic, I'm confused as to why he did IOP? I hope you do find something helpful for you, whatever it may be.
BTW, I briefly dated a gentleman a few years ago who was previously a hard drinker, but after almost dying from pancreatitis in the hospital, he quit cold turkey.
It didn't take me long at all to realize everything was about him, him, him. A casual date to Pizza Hut one evening left me sitting there listening to him talk non-stop for 45 minutes, and most of it was whining about the problems in his life.
That was the end of any time spent with him ever again.
Was he not alcoholic because he was able to stop cold-turkey due to a life-threatening medical condition? I don't know.
What I do know is people like that add nothing positive to my life.
It seems to me you are more concerned about his methods of abstaining (which still confuses me if he's not an alcoholic) than he is.
At any rate, I really do wish you the best. Sending you hugs of support!
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[QUOTE=Kate5858;3560041]I dont know but I wasnt under the impression that they could have one glass of wine and stop. I thought the nature of the disease was that they were unable to stop.QUOTE]
Kate5858-
My husband's problem drinking was of the binge drinking variety.
He drank most nights, but most nights it was two drinks and all was okay. Honestly now that I look back on it, this behavior was a way to show me and him that he did not have a problem.
Once a month or so though he would drink and I could see it in his eyes that he had gone past the point of no return. He would have six, eight, ten, twelve, really the numbers did not matter. It did not matter what I did in that moment, he would not stop until he blacked out/passed out. The fear I experienced over his behaviors during that time was terrifying though, he punched windows, kicked dogs, got out of vehicles, drove (and almost hit our home), would hurt himself, and would not remember it the next day. Thus to him, he did not believe the stories I told him the next day.
One of the things I have learned here is that "functional" alcoholism is a description of a stage of alcoholism, not necessarily where a person will stay. My exAH did not drink the first year we were together to excess at all. Actually I did not even realize the extent of the problem until we were married (two years in), in part because when we were dating we were both trying to be on our best behaviors.
Even though the problem was only occasional I lived in constant fear of his drinking (mainly for him).
I was not ready to leave, until I was. I don't think that you are dumb or an idiot (and I don't think any here think that either).
My exAH spent a lot of energy minimizing his drinking, I spent even more energy minimizing how his drinking impacted me. To me that is a red flag for me....minimizing how another's behavior illicits an emotion in me.
Kate5858-
My husband's problem drinking was of the binge drinking variety.
He drank most nights, but most nights it was two drinks and all was okay. Honestly now that I look back on it, this behavior was a way to show me and him that he did not have a problem.
Once a month or so though he would drink and I could see it in his eyes that he had gone past the point of no return. He would have six, eight, ten, twelve, really the numbers did not matter. It did not matter what I did in that moment, he would not stop until he blacked out/passed out. The fear I experienced over his behaviors during that time was terrifying though, he punched windows, kicked dogs, got out of vehicles, drove (and almost hit our home), would hurt himself, and would not remember it the next day. Thus to him, he did not believe the stories I told him the next day.
One of the things I have learned here is that "functional" alcoholism is a description of a stage of alcoholism, not necessarily where a person will stay. My exAH did not drink the first year we were together to excess at all. Actually I did not even realize the extent of the problem until we were married (two years in), in part because when we were dating we were both trying to be on our best behaviors.
Even though the problem was only occasional I lived in constant fear of his drinking (mainly for him).
I was not ready to leave, until I was. I don't think that you are dumb or an idiot (and I don't think any here think that either).
My exAH spent a lot of energy minimizing his drinking, I spent even more energy minimizing how his drinking impacted me. To me that is a red flag for me....minimizing how another's behavior illicits an emotion in me.
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There are many paths to recovery for an acoholic. Individual therapy, AA, Smart, LifeRing, Rational Recovery.... many paths your bf can take that don't necessarily involve talking in a group.
None of us here can tell you or him whether or not he is an alcoholic. But it seems to me that if he becomes violently ill when he drinks, and yet he still drinks, then that might be a red flag.
I hope that your bf finds a program that works for him.
None of us here can tell you or him whether or not he is an alcoholic. But it seems to me that if he becomes violently ill when he drinks, and yet he still drinks, then that might be a red flag.
I hope that your bf finds a program that works for him.
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I've never heard of hypnosis as treatment for drinking, but I did successfully use it to quit smoking.
Luckily my therapist was a good friend that I felt very comfortable with so we were able to dig deep & really address the issue. He warned me very strongly at the time though - if I did not in my heart-of-hearts really WANT to quit, there was no amount of therapy he could give me to MAKE me do something against my will. He taught me that hypnosis is about bypassing locked doors & climbing firewalls we've built in our minds to break into the central computer & rewire it from the inside. He said it was just a tool, that without the desire to quit & stay quit it was useless on it's own.
Just thought I'd share my experience! Good luck!
Luckily my therapist was a good friend that I felt very comfortable with so we were able to dig deep & really address the issue. He warned me very strongly at the time though - if I did not in my heart-of-hearts really WANT to quit, there was no amount of therapy he could give me to MAKE me do something against my will. He taught me that hypnosis is about bypassing locked doors & climbing firewalls we've built in our minds to break into the central computer & rewire it from the inside. He said it was just a tool, that without the desire to quit & stay quit it was useless on it's own.
Just thought I'd share my experience! Good luck!
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Kate, one of the most important lessons I learned here and at Alanon was:
I didn't cause it.
I can't control it.
I can't cure it.
I didn't have the power to make my AW stop drinking anymore than I did the power to make her drink. That choice was her's and her's alone.
I try very hard never to give advice even when someone asks for it. All I can do is share my experiences.
You are not an idiot. You are just in a very tuff place right now.
I know that I found tons of support and wisdom on this site and in the rooms of Alanon. I got the tools that allowed me to become more sane and to make more skillful life decisions.
The choice to stay or leave is yours and yours alone. I wish the best for you and your husband.
((((hugs))))
Your friend,
I didn't cause it.
I can't control it.
I can't cure it.
I didn't have the power to make my AW stop drinking anymore than I did the power to make her drink. That choice was her's and her's alone.
I try very hard never to give advice even when someone asks for it. All I can do is share my experiences.
You are not an idiot. You are just in a very tuff place right now.
I know that I found tons of support and wisdom on this site and in the rooms of Alanon. I got the tools that allowed me to become more sane and to make more skillful life decisions.
The choice to stay or leave is yours and yours alone. I wish the best for you and your husband.
((((hugs))))
Your friend,
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