itsmylifenow

So, last night I had 3 very, vivid dreams.

The first one was about the xH. Now, he was a decent guy, no A or issues, just a good guy that we grew apart from each other.

Our son was doing something he shouldn't have and I found myself upset and went up to him to comfort me. He held me, then later in the dream he was kissing me and it looked like we were going to get back together. I remember feeling like a huge burden had been lifted and I wouldn't have to worry about money or supporting us or anything. He was my comfort. (Which he had been for years.)

Second dream involved recent xabf. Someone had done something to him that he didn't like so he was being his usual spiteful self and just being a jerk. Telling them off and how they should have behaved, etc.

Third dream was a bit more scary. It involved an A who I dated for a few years way back in the late 90's. I haven't seen him in quite some time.

In this dream, A is at my house. My kids are right there, he is drunk and is horny and wants to have sex with me. At one point he pulls something out of his pants and starts waving it around. I am appalled by this and I physically lift him up and yell at him that I've been in 3 relationships like this and I'm not doing it anymore. I literally throw him out the door.

I call the cops to come get him. Throughout the dream I call them numerous times but they never show up.

He's outside trying to find a way back into the house. Someone leaves and he manages to get back in. I see him and I run out of the house and into a neighbors yard, hiding from him.

I can see he's angry and he's yelling that he loves me and he needs to find me.

From here, we somehow end up at this couples house where him and them are all wearing these masks and costumes. His role is like a butler or something to them and behind the mask they don't know he's not who they think he is. They go to make love and the A stabs the man and has sex with the woman. Meanwhile, in my dream, I am at the foot of the bed watching all this thinking how dangerous this man is and I'm scared.

I woke up after that, kind of feeling weird and a little freaked out by the intensity and violence in the dream.

But, for all the dreams I've ever had, this one wasn't crazy like you are walking one minute, then an elephant shows up, then you are in a plane.

I don't know if anyone puts any stock in dreams, but this one seemed to tell a lot about what I'm really feeling right now. And, since I have been really opening my mind up, I'm guessing my fears are coming out.

If I had to have a favorite part of the dream, it was when I knew I was not going to go through that again and threw him out of the house. I absolutely felt that very strongly.

ShootingStar1

Wow, itsmylifenow, what a doozy of a dream. Well worth probing it and seeing what it means.

I'll think about it, on my way to my flight home now.

BothSidesNow

itsmylifenow

Okay, I am a believer of symbols in dreams, so I decided to check a dream website just to see what it came up with.

A house represents ourselves. Having someone break into your house means you are feeling violated. It may refer to a particular relationship or current situation in your life. Alternatively, it indicates that some subconscious material is attempting to make itself known. There are some aspects of yourself that you have denied.

I looked up stab, but it only referred to the dreamer being stabbed or doing the stabbing. So, I looked up kill, since he did kill the guy. To see a killer in your dream suggests that an essential aspect of your emotions have been cut off. You feel that you are losing your identity and your individuality. Alternatively, this dream may represent purification and the healing process. You are standing up for yourself and putting a dramatic end to something.

Dreaming about ex's had a bunch of different things, but I believe they represent exactly who they are supposed to.

To dream that you are having difficulties contacting the police, suggests that you have yet to acknowledge your own authoritativeness in a situation. You need to take control and be in command of the direction of your life.

Pretty interesting.

Florence

I'm a lucid dreamer and I always remember my dreams.

There's a pretty well-accepted psych theory that we are every character in our dreams -- after all, a dream is entirely of our own creation made of our own experiences, fears, and feelings -- so we are both the bad and good guys, the children and adults, the perpetrators and the victims. When I have a particularly disturbing or anxious dream, it helps to see it through that lens.

Florence

Apropos of my comment above, I would say all of these things feel true to me based on your description of your dreams. I definitely identity with these feelings too. The need to feel in control of yourself and your surroundings, but feeling like you lack the authority or legitimacy to make decisions. Fear of my own irrationality and anger and feeling like I need to control it.

Dreams are interesting stuff. I think it's bad news to place too much emphasis on what we're dreaming because it can take you down a rabbit hole, but they're an interesting way to take the temperature on what you're feeling about yourself and your situation.

Katiekate

You have power and you are taking it back.

My take, simplistically.

You are working very hard, you are getting there.