backbeat

This morning I opened up my journal and for the first time I looked at the month mode, seeing little blurbs of what I've written the past 4 weeks. I seem to only write when I'm feeling something and I guess I often write when I've let myself down again with alcohol.

Anyway it was the first time I realized that I had missed work 5 times in 4 weeks due to drinking. That doesn't count the days I dragged myself in feeling sick, it's just the times I couldn't get out of bed for half the day at least.

That's just this month. It's not new. I don't know how I've kept this job. I've said I was stopping and failed again and again.

This time, though, it feels different. I'm only 2 days in but I've known it was coming to this. And while I'm hopeful, I also feel very sad and want to cry and I just realized it's because I'm already grieving the friends I've had for the past 5 years that I need to part ways with. That's not easy to do.

Sapling

I found that the longer I have lived without alcohol....How little I really had in common with the "friends" I parted ways with....They are still doing what I was doing....And I don't miss that a bit....I think you'll come to see that.

mecanix

You now have the opportunity to attract wonderful new sober friends into your life, such people do exist . Just have to be open and aware .

Bestwishes, M