Vall

Hello everyone.

This is my very first post, my first time on any such forum, so I am rather nervous but I googled "how to stop drinking" and I found this place and have read and read and read and see how many great, motivating people there are on here.

I live in England by the way so sorry if I sound slightly weird with my words sometimes (Hi Mrs King

My brother is a recovering alcoholic and I am afraid I may be following in his footsteps.

But when I read over Paul's story (Hi Paul) I wonder if I am an alcoholic or if I just sometimes "Drink Too Much"?

My drinking does not impact on my daily life/work. I never drink before 12pm and I don't have hangovers, YET! I do like it and it is my only vice BUT I know that my AFD (alcohol free days) are getting less and less and I am worried. My lovely Dad died after a painful illness a few months ago so I have had some rough months (don't we all) and I feel that I am drinking more. I have a very supportive family who know nothing about how I am coping because I don't want to worry them (don't we all)

My question is to all of you very brave people, is this how dependency on alcohol starts? Are there any clear cut signs?

Thank you.

Fandy

welcome Vall;

i think you will find a wealth of information and support here. (you don't sound funny at all).

keep reading and don't be afraid to post or start your own thread.

doggonecarl

Welcome, Vall. I think you should start your own thread here in the newcomer's section.

That being said, I will repeat what I said in another post...

Most of us, on day one, want to believe we are just "problem drinkers." You will gain a lot of insight about your "problem" as you go through the quitting process. Good luck.

justhadenough

welcome Val

wow04

Welcome!

Something brought you here. Being worried about your drinking is a sign that you feel you have a problem. If you feel you have a supporting family, talk to them about it. If your brother is a recovering alcoholic ask him to help you as much as he can.

Good luck!!

heath480

Welcome to SR vall.Glad you are here.

doggonecarl

This is what I believe about dependence:

"Some people have a genetic predisposition to addiction, but because it involves these basic brain functions, everyone will become an addict if sufficiently exposed to drugs or alcohol."
--Dr. Nora Volkow, director of NIDA

Drink long enough, in sufficient quantities, and you risk getting hooked.

That's it in a nutshell. What are the signs of dependence? Quit drinking. You will either succeed, or you will struggle. The answer is in the struggle.

soberjim

Hi Vall....Yep that is how it starts... You are concerned at that is a start. Coming here even better. Only you know if it is a problem. Stop for 30 days and see how you feel.

Thats how I knew I had better be concerned.

Lots of good people here and loads of good advice (Even if you are weird with words!) I am just kidding of course.

Keep posting!

Jim

nonblondechef

Welcome to SR. You have made a wonderful decision to address your alcohol consumption and will find lots of wisdom and support here. I hope you learn as much as I have from those who have vast experience.

Sasha4

Hi

I'm in the UK and there are quite a few of us here.
Welcome to you.
I don't know if you are an alcoholic.
I don't know if I'm an alcoholic.

All I know is drinking makes me very unhappy.
It makes me do ridiculous things.
It makes me ill.
It saps my energy.
It makes me paranoid and shaky.
It makes me lazy.
It makes me not like myself.

Coming here, to my little family who understand makes things a lot easier to cope with. I am a lot wiser than I used to be about drinking, addiction and alcohol.

I hope you stick around xxxx

stormyclouds

hi and welcome, im from the UK too.

x

Fandy

there is a lot of information here, not just textbook, but people's experiences which give me both sides to consider.

justhadenough

I'm in the UK too.As Sasha says,there are many of us!

Mark75

Lots....

Regularly drinking when you swore you wouldn't.

Drinking at inappropriate times. (Like before driving your child to soccer practice)

Drinking a lot more than you planned to.


Those are just three off the top of my head.

Vall

Thank you so much everyone.

It really does feel nice to be around people who are there/have been there.

In answer to the question about talking to my brother - at the moment he is still struggling - goes to AA twice a day and has just got a new job. I live away and am his stable helper, his rod, his big sister, and I am v good at helping others, but when it comes to me I am rubbish...so I can't possibly confide in him.

I will keep reading and learning from you all. Just trying to get to grips here - I can't seem to post an avatar that appears on my posts for some reason?

Thank you again.

pauladmits

Two years ago I had a pretty normal life. Had an 8-5 job, which I never missed work, making good money, had a lot of friends that would come over on weekends or we would go out. I did drink heavily on weekends though. Then the company I went to work for collapsed and I ended up losing my job. I had 4 months of severance though, so I decided to take some time off. Year and a half later I realized I had turned in to a full on alcoholic and have been trying to change those habits since.

It creeps up on you slowly. It doesn't happen over night. One drink here, one drink there, then before you know it, you have a drink planned for the entire day and you can't stop. If I could jump back in the past I would never have taken that break from work and just went straight back to a job.

Best of luck to you. It's good you are aware of signs even if you aren't an "alcoholic" yet. Never hurts just to be around using some preventative maintenance measures so you never do get to a rock bottom point.

bbthumper

I like the way the Big Book of AA aproaches this question. It states that
"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely or when drinking you find you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic."

So its choice and control. Can you make the choice to quit for good and do it? And when you drink, can you always control the amount you take?

Average temprate drinkers can do these things. I cant.

best wishes to you. Hope you get some answers

Vall

Can I please ask what you all consider to be "drinking heavily"?

and if you are dependant on alcohol, does this mean that you would drink absolutely anything?

I (at the moment) only like wine (but it's almost a bottle when I do - I stop before I finish it leave an inch in the bottom of the bottle that makes me feel better about myself....and it takes about 5 hours, with lots of water imbetween but..I still know it's not good) and an occasional Wit Bier (Hoegaarden) when it is hot.

justhadenough

This happens to me too easily -it's scary

Feeling ill in the morning,so regularly that it is normal

Anxiety

Starting to drink just that little bit earlier,especially on Saturdays, Sundays,oh and Fridays, oh go on then-any day with a Y in it........

Forgetting wht it feels like to have an evening not drinking

The constant thinking/planning-when can I have the first drink/do I have enough wine at home? Shall I buy more/don't want to run out-all the planning

If you have to constantly plan and control drinking you are out of control

bbthumper

IMO Amount and type dont matter much.
what matters is can you quit if you wanted to and can you always control how much you take once you start.