myheartaches

First of all, I want to say thank you to anyone at all who decides to read this. Secondly, I ask for no advice but welcome any comments you may have on anything I write. Thirdly, I hope to be able to provide some legitimate contribution to your threads as well.

I am in love with a recovering addict.

He is currently in a rehabilitation center somewhere far away from me. We have been apart since he got us evicted from our apartment and I had to leave town or face homelessness. :rotfxko

He had tried to kill himself on a number of occasions before this, had been hospitalized, worked full time but lived only for getting high.

I am not sure now how many times he has been in the hospital as inpatient, and has been in rehabilitation.

We write letters to each other, and he has recently said that somehow, he has discovered a new found faith, which is exactly the opposite of how he was feeling before. He said he will do whatever it takes for us to be together again.

I believe him.

I have prayed to God every night for him, and for us. It has been months since we have seen each other. Since I left.


People have said I am like a rock. That my life is more than to just love another person. That I should never talk to him again.

I still can't let go.

Dee74

Hi myheartaches - welcome

I understand both sides of this - I understand wanting to believe he's changed - and I also understand the very real fears and genuine concern of your friends and family based on this mans past behaviour.

I won't try and talk you out of staying by this man, but I don't think there's anything wrong at all with you building a life for yourself thats not dependent on this man being in it either.

I think those who said yr life is more than to just love another person were right. Some of us can love too much - me included, in the past.

If you're determined to go with your heart, think about what acceptable boundaries would be for you - if they are crossed again, you have your answer.

D

Hevyn

Welcome myheart. I hope it helps you to have a place to discuss this. We want to help. (You may find the 'Friends & Family' Forums to be helpful too.)

I agree with what Dee said. I've been on both sides of it too. Wanting desperately to believe I could put the pieces back together, yet knowing I couldn't go down with the ship if things went bad again.

I hope you'll continue to post here and let us know how it's going for you.

katrinka

I have to admit, if you were my daughter, I'd be horrified and tell you to dump the loser. That being said, maybe if you believe so strongly in him, you could wait and see how things go after rehab but maintain your own life and apartment just in case. People do change, many on SR certainly have!

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR!

love & hugs to you,

candi7

Welcome to SR! I found love before I found sobriety...I had to put my sobriety before everything, I've lost my last job (in sobriety) and I've had to put harder effort into doing what I have to do to get better. I was soo used to depending on "The Man" to rescue me.. Now I'm learning to stand on my own two feet (because I have a man who has been where I am-he forces me to face it), but I have to go after it with all my heart and regardless of whether or not he's with me or he isn't. Whether or not I lose everything in the process... I can't lose myself and my sobriety.. I've been suicidal and I tell you what... everyone gave up on me in life (or that's what my perspective was-and was wrong with some) but I be d@mned now if I EVER give up on myself... I think of that little girl who wanted attention-well-she's got my undivided attention and I fight like a bulldog to keep my sobriety and sanity... It's something a person has to go after-all by themselves with the help of a program, other recovering alcoholics and a higher power...

myheartaches

I appreciate all your kind words everyone.

Today I have decided I no longer want substance abuse in my life.

I want to take my life back. There is so much more to live for!