lonewolf68

you know for a site for drunks they sure make you jump through enough hoops to get on this damn site! anyway this is the longest Ive ever been on a binge. this morning I missed a court date for a dui so now I have a warrant out for my arrest. My wife kicked me out not just for the drinking, but during this bender I cheated. I think I love this girl but she has a safe environment with a house and a boyfriend that she says she isnt happy but I think she plays me up to what I want to hear. Ive seen my 7 year old son maybe 3 times in this binge, and I cant seem to stop... This morning was the worst, I shook and shook, there was no way I could go to that court date, i tried to call but they just said get your ass here now. This time is the hardest Ive ever tried to stop... I lost my job, cant pay my rent or bills. Im running out of options, actually one night I almost just took a whole bottle of pills but the girl I cheated with talked me out of it. I have a VERY important interview tomorrow at 4 that I just dont know Im going to make. My eyes are bloodshot, I look like ****, my apartment which was pretty nice is a pig sty now. Im just lost and dont know what to do....

stairs

Go to the hospital and ask for help. This may be your best move right now.

TorontoGuy28

1. Seek medical advice/help for your detox.
2. Go to an AA meeting ASAP.

Area 23 » Area 23 Home Page


Things will get better for you, but you have to want to stop and do the work.

Sapling

They talk about hitting a bottom...Where you are at is pretty close to mine....A bottom is when you just stop digging....I'd seek some place to detox safely...Get in a rehab if at all possible...If not...Throw yourself into AA and get busy...That's what I did. Glad you made it to the site.

Timeisnow

Wow Sapling, I really like that- "A bottom is where you just stop digging."

Thanks, I've never thought of it that way. Sometimes I get caught up thinking I really wasn't *that* bad. But why wait until I am.....

Sapling

I guess the true bottom is death....Sounds to me like you've had enough.

Dovie0212

Lone Wolf~

Like the above mentioned, I think you have hit bottom, but only you can really know, however, by reading what you posted you have seem to hit it.

I would highly suggest getting to as many AA meetings as you can. Also, I hate to say it but you may need to forgo the job interview unless it's some high profile job. You should probably turn yourself in too. That is just a nightmare waiting to happen for. Do you have a lawyer??? Maybe get a public attourney!?!? Also, ditch the girlfriend and focus on your family!!!!!!!!! She will be yesterday's news tomorrow. AND pray to a higher power like you have NEVER prayed before!!!!!

I will pray for you!!! You need some serious help!!!!!

lonewolf68

Well now its a 3 week binge, things keep getting worse. I have to fix myself. Ive tried to do this on my own but its very lonely since my wife kicked me out. I didnt get the job, no wonder. I have to do something. The only rehab in the area is the local hospital and Ive been there. Its like prison, and yes I know its all rough but they put you on lithium and after your fine they say well you have to come off the lithium now. BS they just want my money. I was fine after that for years. Yes I need AA, and have been before but I cant do this anymore. Its to much by myself. I have a script for klonipin and an anti seizer med for bi polar. But doing this by myself is just to hard.. at my wits end

lonewolf68

oh and its gone from vodka to beer, at least a 12 pack a night, I just cant to this anymore. I had to sell my Mustang convertible and buy a beater to pay my bills. Im done with this crap...

Grace2

Lone wolf, hi. I'm fairly new to this, day 19 today. Just one thing, you are not doing this alone, we are doing this with you, holding hands along the way. We are all in this boat together. Get to an AA meeting, get whatever medical help you can, post on here at every opportunity, join the chat room, p.m any of us, we are all here for you.

Big hugs

Gxx

Dee74

Sorry to hear you're struggling lonewolf...

I've been in that spiral - the only way out is to stop drinking and find help, man

I agree with the advice here - see a Dr.

The 10778 clinics in this database are free, low cost, low cost with a sliding scale based on income, or offer some type of financial assistance:

Free/Low-Cost/Sliding-Scale Clinics

It's a much better bet to have professional medical advice that it is to try and self medicate with various meds you have lying around.

I think you could also get a lot of benefit out of going to meetings daily rather than drinking for another week, lonewolf.

what have you got to lose?
D

Veritas1

Gathering in the Pines -- Richmond

When: 09-08-2012 9:00am to 3:00pm

Where: First Church of the Nazarene
1600 Chester Blvd.
Richmond, IN 47374


Details: An all day event of Al-Anon and AA leads, fellowship, and food -- for only $15.00

Speakers:

Tim H. AA -- Louisville, KY
Angie P., AA - Cincinnati, OH

Sherry H. Al-Anon -- Louisville, KY
Tom P., Al-Anon -- Richmond, IN

Flyer URL: http://area23aa.org/tmp/GatheringInThePines2012.pdf

Hope you can get to Richmond

discTosser

Get yourself to a meeting dude, seriously listen to the above posters.

1: We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable

There is only 1 requirement for membership, the desire to stop drinking/using

sugarbear1

Go to the ER and detox properly. Then turn yourself in. The job will come later when you are alert and sober. Save your life now!!

Love & hugs,

instant

It sounds like somewhere is better than where you are?

lonewolf68

Ive been told if I go to the sheriffs dept and pay my new bail, they will set me up a new court date, its just a bench warrant. the problem is they will test me while Im there, part of the reason I didnt go in the first place I would of showed up positive for drinking, same as now. I have to quite, I just have to, but its so hard, when its so easy to just spend $6 on a bottle and all the pain goes away, I can function again, do things, and forget the pain, and all Ive done. now dont get me wrong, I know its all a fantasy and its ruining everything in my life and I have to stop its just very hard

hypochondriac

It is hard Lonewolf... I think sometimes the beginning of sobriety it gets worse before it gets better. Did you go to AA yet or ER? You don't have to do this by yourself x

choublak

Postponing the pain won't make it go away...

lonewolf68

ive been to the er before, once they filled me full of fluids sent me home and charged me $1500. the next time I went they didnt even do that said my bac wasnt that bad just sleep it off, charged $1500. I could try to sleep it off with the drugs I have but thats scary and I just cant. My landlord will be here tomorrow for the rent which I have but Im not even sure I want to stay here. he screwed me cause Im like 5 feet from a rail road track that the said I wouldnt even notice but its right by a crossing. I get the horns at least 7 times a night. my son wont stay here it scares him to death but the guy gave me lease out option that no one else would. I have no one else to stay with. When this would happen before my wife would help me through but she wont this time. Im so depressed

choublak

You can do it. You're capable.