Here I go....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Southern US
Posts: 14
Here I go....
Well, this time I'm going to quit. Even if I have to quit my job and go for inpatient treatment.
I have had a too long love affair with wine. For 7 years it has been my constant companion. I've gone from drinking a bottle a night for several years to now drinking a bottle three nights a week to try to excercise some "control". But the truth is, I'm beginning to lose control again. I've been sneaking a few extra glasses and have had two blackouts. I'm scared, I'm sick ALL the time and I'm done with it.....just done.
My last drink was 8pm Sunday. I have a benzo RX and I'm going to try to do this at home. So far it's going ok. I feel like I could sleep for a year and I'm anxious. But I am committed.
I'm sorry this isn't more eloquent, but I'm just feeling raw and not very focused.
I'm asking please, for your support.
I have had a too long love affair with wine. For 7 years it has been my constant companion. I've gone from drinking a bottle a night for several years to now drinking a bottle three nights a week to try to excercise some "control". But the truth is, I'm beginning to lose control again. I've been sneaking a few extra glasses and have had two blackouts. I'm scared, I'm sick ALL the time and I'm done with it.....just done.
My last drink was 8pm Sunday. I have a benzo RX and I'm going to try to do this at home. So far it's going ok. I feel like I could sleep for a year and I'm anxious. But I am committed.
I'm sorry this isn't more eloquent, but I'm just feeling raw and not very focused.
I'm asking please, for your support.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Southern US
Posts: 14
Thanks!
And yes I have talked to my Dr. about this before. We agreed on the benzo and to go to the hospital one block away if I had any extreme discomfort. So I just called her yesterday and told her I was trying again.
I also suffer from extreme anxiety disorder, which probably triggered my problem drinking and then drinking is probably making it worse actually!
So my symptoms may overlap. It's not going to be fun....but I'm going to do this.
And yes I have talked to my Dr. about this before. We agreed on the benzo and to go to the hospital one block away if I had any extreme discomfort. So I just called her yesterday and told her I was trying again.
I also suffer from extreme anxiety disorder, which probably triggered my problem drinking and then drinking is probably making it worse actually!
So my symptoms may overlap. It's not going to be fun....but I'm going to do this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Good for you Miss Lou....It's best to be safe doing this...Sounds like that is what you are doing....It may not be a bad idea to look into some kind of recovery program or method to assist you on this journey...Reading here you can see what is available...I wish you the best it what could be the best decision of your life. Be sure and stay connected and let us know how you are doing.
PS....I also suffered from terrible anxiety that was alcohol driven...I'm just saying for myself....Removing alcohol from the picture was the solution for me...As well as working a program and using the support from others.
PS....I also suffered from terrible anxiety that was alcohol driven...I'm just saying for myself....Removing alcohol from the picture was the solution for me...As well as working a program and using the support from others.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Southern US
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by Sapling 
Good for you Miss Lou....It's best to be safe doing this...Sounds like that is what you are doing....It may not be a bad idea to look into some kind of recovery program or method to assist you on this journey...Reading here you can see what is available...I wish you the best it what could be the best decision of you life. Be sure and stay connected and let us know how you are doing.
PS....I also suffered from terrible anxiety that was alcohol driven...I'm just saying for myself....Removing alcohol from the picture was the solution for me...As well as working a program and using the support from others.
PS....I also suffered from terrible anxiety that was alcohol driven...I'm just saying for myself....Removing alcohol from the picture was the solution for me...As well as working a program and using the support from others.
I've downloaded 6 books on recovery and I'm also seeing a therapist for my anxiety and now addiction issues. But I agree with you....I need a long range plan.
I'm praying my anxiety will go away. I never drank until the panic started. But I KNOW that now alcohol is making it worse. The hangover anxiety had become unbearable.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Just do whatever you have to do...I've been sober for 14 months with AA...Worked the steps with a sponsor and it changed my life....Some meetings are better than others...I hope you won't give up on it....I'll pray you find one you connect with....But if it's not for you...Keep trying till you find something that is...Glad you are here MissLou!
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
Welcome to SR MissLou. You have taken the most important step by admitting to yourself that you need to stop.
Everyone here has gone through a similar situation while trying to get sober so dont hesitate to lean on us for support.
I would suggest that you dispose of ANY alcohol in your house. You may need to distance yourself from friends that drink, at least until you are comfortable in your sobriety.
I have Anxiety as well and I have found that the best way to control it is to get up and start moving as soon as I feel it coming on. I go for a walk or clean the entire house and the next thing I know..... its gone.
Best Wishes
Everyone here has gone through a similar situation while trying to get sober so dont hesitate to lean on us for support.
I would suggest that you dispose of ANY alcohol in your house. You may need to distance yourself from friends that drink, at least until you are comfortable in your sobriety.
I have Anxiety as well and I have found that the best way to control it is to get up and start moving as soon as I feel it coming on. I go for a walk or clean the entire house and the next thing I know..... its gone.
Best Wishes
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Southern US
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by Hope4Life
Welcome to SR MissLou. You have taken the most important step by admitting to yourself that you need to stop.
Everyone here has gone through a similar situation while trying to get sober so dont hesitate to lean on us for support.
I would suggest that you dispose of ANY alcohol in your house. You may need to distance yourself from friends that drink, at least until you are comfortable in your sobriety.
I have Anxiety as well and I have found that the best way to control it is to get up and start moving as soon as I feel it coming on. I go for a walk or clean the entire house and the next thing I know..... its gone.
Best Wishes
Everyone here has gone through a similar situation while trying to get sober so dont hesitate to lean on us for support.
I would suggest that you dispose of ANY alcohol in your house. You may need to distance yourself from friends that drink, at least until you are comfortable in your sobriety.
I have Anxiety as well and I have found that the best way to control it is to get up and start moving as soon as I feel it coming on. I go for a walk or clean the entire house and the next thing I know..... its gone.
Best Wishes
All alcohol is gone. I even emptied the wine rack that had (probably) undrinkable wine in it.If I can get thru the next two weeks alright, I have lots of non drinking outdoor activities planned.
Right now it's hour by hour....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Southern US
Posts: 14
Well, here I am on day three of my at home detox. So far things aren't too bad.
I had my last drink at 8 pm Sunday.*
Mostly I just feel sick. Achey, tired, depressed, no appetite. But I AM surviving this. I'm taking a very low dose benzo which seems to be enough. I was drinking three days a week over a bottle of wine each time. But I was experiencing blackouts and miserable hangovers which were significantly worse than when I was drinking more heavily. So I believe my body just couldn't take the alcohol anymore.
I'm reading a lot about recovery, staying *close to these boards, and trying to decide what my long term recovery plan will be. I am leaning towards an intensive outpatient group and private counseling. AA did not appeal to me before. But I have not ruled it put completely!
So thanks to everyone who replied to this thread. It means a lot.
I had my last drink at 8 pm Sunday.*
Mostly I just feel sick. Achey, tired, depressed, no appetite. But I AM surviving this. I'm taking a very low dose benzo which seems to be enough. I was drinking three days a week over a bottle of wine each time. But I was experiencing blackouts and miserable hangovers which were significantly worse than when I was drinking more heavily. So I believe my body just couldn't take the alcohol anymore.
I'm reading a lot about recovery, staying *close to these boards, and trying to decide what my long term recovery plan will be. I am leaning towards an intensive outpatient group and private counseling. AA did not appeal to me before. But I have not ruled it put completely!
So thanks to everyone who replied to this thread. It means a lot.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Glad your here and doing this...
Take it easy on your body for its been thru so much.. Congrats day 3 if your anyting like me you start feeling much better in the next couple days. Specially with some the eating ..
Good love, Inda
Take it easy on your body for its been thru so much.. Congrats day 3 if your anyting like me you start feeling much better in the next couple days. Specially with some the eating ..
Good love, Inda
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