Weasel1966

I say that to myself on an almost daily basis. I seem to be easily surprised when someone says something from the complete opposite of what I was thinking and I always wonder why I did not see that.

In my job I have to come up with business solutions that get built into programs that get the problem solved. That requires that I think like every possible user of the system might think and account for that. Thats impossible right? Hell yeah it is. Tell my boss that!

When I think of my addictions...(would love that to be singular but it's not) ...I seem to think one way. True, there is only one way to say I am sober and that's not to drink but that does not account for the many emotions and "reasons" I make up to drink.

Take for instance my last 9 days. I have been struggling a lot so let's only go back 9 days (wink).

Out of the 216 hours in that timeframe I was sober all but 8. That's pretty damn good for me and I am happy with that.

But if I said I drank Sunday night yet again. Day 2 here ... again. I am not so eager to pat myself on the back.

What I am trying to say is that I can choose to spin this in my favor. It helps me to stay positive and keep going.

With the holiday weekend coming up I need all the confidence to be able to say no every time my AV presents itself.

I have said no to AV more times now than I say yes.

And that's a win in my perspective.

Jeni26

Keep at it Ken. And remember, I believe in you x

foodie1

How true that is. And how often I forget it! Thank you for the reminder to walk around my problems and check them out from all sides. Well done on your sober time, so what if it's not all in a perfectly straight line? It's still sober time, and you're still changing your life for the better, well done on that!

NoFireWater

Ken, I agree, putting a positive spin on it makes a difference. Hate to see someone give up entirely because of a slip or two. That's one reason I question the day counting sometimes. To have to keep starting back at day 1 can be demoralizing and make a person feel like they'll never be able to do it.
I like thinking along the lines of "sober for 59 out of last 60 days" better. For some, that might be a permission to slip though, so it's really each to their own.

The big picture is really what's important. If you're actively trying to stop, and make that effort every day you're going to see good results. Each day sober gives more reasons to stay sober. Each day you resist gives you more power to resist in the future. Planning ahead to stop the AV is very effective.

I'm with you on the holiday weekend coming up. It's going to be really hard. The AV is already raring to go. My friends are raring to go. I'm raring to go. Ugh! I think we have to focus on "it's just another weekend" and how many times we've been able to stay sober during temptation. We have been successful in this, that's the reality. The AV brings out the big guns, but we have to do the same.

Weasel1966

Glad you agree.... I have a hard time when people make a mistake after some considerable sober time and feel like all is lost.

This is a deadly serious issue for many... Me included. Nothing light about it. But consider we don't ask for perfection in other things we do. When we do seek pwrfection we often tell ourselves no one is perfect. But when it comes to being sober we ask for an absolute.

Again... Not a lot in my life on a daily basis is a life or death like this is. At least that's wht my liver tells me.

HitRockBottom70

Hey Ken, I'm glad you got right back on and are ready to fight. Be very careful with likening this problem to others. Remember it is not like other problems and for many it takes an absolute. You may be a lucky one that can fall and get right back up again. But I ask you, how many times are you sure you can do this. Each time we slip, there is a possibility we go back to our old ways. For many of us, I think it would only take 1 drink. That's why I am scared to death to slip... I know myself and I am afraid I would be unable to pull it back together. I cannot give myself this option. You know I write this with the best intentions because I care about. Have strength this weekend buddy!

Weasel1966

Hey rock!

Miss you on here!

Point taken... It is unlike anything. It is deadly serious.

Am I a lucky one? That's a question huh? I may be able to "get back up" but it take more effort each time.

I am in a good place in what I have learned.

I find it very troubling for me to still be hear posting of a slip when people like you and others have stayed stopped. That bothers me enough to give me strength.

I don't find that to be a tool to use but to solve. I want it too!

This weekend is well planned for and especially may time and where I failed the most... Sunday early evening.

I will do just fine this weekend and be able to post Tuesday morning about all I did to stay stopped.

Ken

mecanix

sobriety is a binary decision i do , i do not . Anything else is superfluous and over intelectualizing it . I tried to think my way out of drinking , it did'nt work i just had to stop no matter what, there is no gray for me .

Nice to think i've been sober for 22 years if we miss a slippy bit in the middle .

Weasel1966

M....

The fact you said the complete opposite of my thought process is the exactly what the post is about.

For me the view is different. Not better or worse... Just different.

olympia

Rock, I agree. This is what I've been telling myself: that the drinking is not like other problems. I can definitely see the issue with counting, though, too; in the past I've let a slip turn into a full-blown bender, telling myself since I'm starting over anyway I might as well go out with a bang.

Good luck with your weekend Weasel! Do whatever it takes to stay sober.

HitRockBottom70

Hey Ken, just realize there are some of us with major issues that are doing it and I truly believe you can too. I think you need to believe in yourself too. Just a thought but maybe over analyzing things might be leading you astray at times.
It really is as simple as never drinking again. The complex part is figuring out what you need to do to make this your reality.

Olympia, I agree, I'm not a counter either. It works for me. Others like it.

Weasel1966

I still find that odd.... Everyone says not to over think it.... Yet we need to plan the hell out of every second. Come to understand what gets us to that point and how do we deal with it.

If that does not require thought then I must be missing something. Everything about changing long set in patterns and feeling requires thought. A hell of a lot of thought.

I don't go to therapy to not think about things when there are things that need solving. I go to work through them.

I agree the act of not drinking is just that. Not drinking. A simple one to one will suffice. But the things around it all require a level of attention.

I am far from over thinking this.... But again... This thread is about the differences that all get us to the same place.

It's in the perspective.

HitRockBottom70

Ken, maybe you are misunderstood what I was trying to say, I am not great at getting my thoughts out...
Look forward and have faith in yourself.
Decide you are never drinking again.
Do whatever you need to do to make this happen.
This means staying focused on what is going on right now and planning for the near future.

One thing that I found that helped me the most is forcing myself to post when I am starting to feel weak. When I force myself to do this, just writing it can usually help. Also you will get support from people who are dealing with or have just dealt with the same thing.

You know that I do not believe this is easy. I will let you know where i am right now so you understand my mindset. I am at my mom and dads new place. They just moved so im helping them with repairs. They are drinking every night. I am stressed out and tired. Part of me wants to say F it... I've gone over 100 days sober...I can drink while I'm here. I certainly would be more social... I see posts of people who are able to drink and then jump back to it... What the heck am I really doing this for?

I started writing to you really trying to help you, but I think I made you mad with my last post. Certainly not my intent. I am as lost as anyone and sometimes I feel I am fighting a losing battle. But we fight on today.

Weasel1966

Rock... Yes... I get pissed when told I over think. That's me. I am a thinker... My mother called me "the deep one". Lol go figure...

I understand where you are at from your description. To be honest who the hell can convey who we really are and what we really feel in text. I hope we are all more than that. But we try and we do a very good job of supporting each other.

You wereone of the first friends I made on sr. I am sooo happy for your progress you have no idea... Dont drink... Now or ever. You know the formula that works for you...

I added a little to much of this or that to my formula and it blew up... But it gave me the clues I needed for the next batch.

Lol... Love ya... Let's all keep on...

Ken

ReadyAndAble

You did that already. Remember your Big Plan?

Seems to me that covers all the bases. Every second, and every circumstance, for the rest of your life.

Or what?

See how that's a form of self-doubt?

And you already know what I'm gonna say about self-doubt...

Weasel1966

Like is said in my last post... We can pick apart the posts we post to no end... Read into every word or line... But they cannot in a single swipe convey the level of understanding we each have or don't have for ourselves.

I know what I need to do... I don't post to be schooled. I post to express.

ReadyAndAble

Sorry, Ken, I didn't mean to upset you.

I thought you were following the AVRT approach, which in fact relies on reading into every word. Thanks for clarifying. I won't make the mistake again.

Weasel1966

No mistakes were made.... I am following AVRT... And I follow you and what you seem to always be able to say right. But sometimes an expression is simply that. It's a mix of AV... A mix of I don't know any better... A mix of oh sh!t.

But the beauty of SR is that you can...

All good here RAA

freshstart57

.

This can be about learning how to recognize your Addictive Voice, and this is what I am hearing. I am not hearing you, Ken.

Weasel1966

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