melberholtz

I have been sober for three weeks now. I can't tell you what a difference this has made in my life. First off, my relationships are so much better. I think this is because my relationship is better with myself. I have taken stabs at sobriety before, but always under the pretense of controlling it long enough (or abstaining long enough) to start back up and just have a couple of drinks at a time (be a normal drinker). This time I just feel different. I have accepted and internalized the fact that I am not a normal drinker. I am ok with that. That acceptance has really simplified things in terms of staying sober. Instead of trying not to drink with the thought of trying to control my drinking when I start again, I just focus on not drinking. It is much easier this way. When I have a craving, the dialog is short and sweet. I think "nope, I will not put that drink up to my lips because I know where it will lead me," not "well, I don't know if I can control it today, I may put down this craving and give in tomorrow, maybe I'll be ready then" (leaving a glimmer of drinking hope open.

As I said in previous posts, I was pretty physically active while drinking (yes madness at its finest). I am running a marathon in early October and a 31 mile Ultra in November. This has consumed a lot of my nervous energy. It also helps me to eat right, which has been a big factor in my drinking. I notice when I am hungry all bets are off.

I don't post here everyday, but I log on multiple times a day and read the stories of hope and stumbles. Thanks to everyone. We can all do this. Believe me, if I can, anyone can. Just three weeks ago I was living a complete lie and flushing my life down the toilet. Folks at the grocery store must be wondering where that nice baker is that used to come in and buy all that vanilla extract.

mecanix

Thanks melberholtz ,



Bestwishes, M

Anna

Yes, we can!

Congratulations, and good luck with your marathon!

Live2Run25

good luck!!! I have 4 races this fall!! it's exciting and something to focus on.

hypochondriac

Well done Melberholtz! And good luck with that marathon. You're making me feel positively lazy! x

jobei

You are really going to own those races now lookout!

jobei

Yes me too.. although I walked to the post office today! (from my car)

Pigtails

Hurray for you! This is great, thanks for sharing!

I too have had stints (my longest was nearly 8 months!) at sobriety before but this time I am realizing I just cannot drink ever, period, and that I need to change a lot of my actions and ways of thinking, more than just drinking. I want to run a half marathon for my birthday in December. I had just mentioned this to my boyfriend this morning and then I saw your post which cemented my decision. Thank you for inspiring me!

melberholtz

Thanks for the kind words everyone. The marathons are nothing compared to our sobriety.

Veggiejojo

Wow - congratulations, truly inspirational, x

TTBABP

I still have not quit. I went back to read your other threads and I see myself (as I am sure many others do) in your words. I do not want to put any uneccesary pressure on you but I have to tell you seeing that you have made it three weeks gives me so much hope.

I have no right to say that I am proud of you when I have not been able to do it myself but ---"I am so proud of you!"

Weasel1966

I have to admit that when I first read the vanilla extract post I had to take in that there are so many ways we can exploit this whole thing. I remember the post distinctly.

I am happy for you that you have come this far. It sounds like you, Being a marathon runner, should know best how to go the distance.

I certainly see you doing that with abstinence.

Congrats!

melberholtz

I really appreciate this. I did the same thing, and for a long time. By that I mean, reading other people's posts and seeing myself. It took me a long time to get to the point I was at. Drinking copious amounts of alcohol, in any form I could get my hands on, I might add. It also took me a LONG time to realize (1) how bad the problem was, and (2) how I needed to re-characterize my relationship with alcohol. Another thing I did, and one that sticks with me every day is to put myself in the shoes of the ones I love. I spend a lot of time reading on the Friends and Family of Alcoholics section and that is one place I see myself (hopefully my old self). Looking at it over the last three weeks has made me feel so bad about some of the crap I pulled while under the influence, and that has strengthened my resolve to stay sober. Friends drinking, work events, nothing will pull me into that relm where I will treat the ones I love like that again.

Keep chugging along and I will do the same. You have the intention. You have put out the thought to quit drinking. Sometimes it takes a bit of time to get traction, but when it does, hold on, because you are on for a great ride. Take care!

Dee74

congratulations on 3 weeks

D

Grace2

Very powerful posts Melberholtz. Thank you for sharing them and good luck with your marathon. You are amazing.

Big hugs

Gxx

CaiHong

Memberholtz,
Good job. I read the labels on vanilla essence very carefully now because of you pointing out the alcohol content, I buy vanilla beans.
You sound in a wonderful frame of mind.
Love
CaiHong