Back again :(
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 37
Back again :(
Hi all,
This is unfortunately not the first time I've tried sobriety, but hopefully it will be the last. I managed two weeks of not drinking earlier in the year (which is ridiculous) and then completely fell off the wagon and have been going off on benders every weekend. I have been doing this since I was around 17.
Last night was a real wake up call as I took things far too far. I freaked my brother out - apparently I was falling over and completely confused as to where I was and who he was. I don't remember anything as I always blackout for at least a few hours. I had been drinking all day and hadn't eaten. To make things worse I completely disgraced myself in front of my superior who came for a drink with me. She drank about 2/3 drinks whilst I proceeded to get completely bladdered despite my best intentions to keep it to a minimum. My lack of self control with alcohol is shocking and frightening. The regret/remorse/embarrassment today has been unbearable.
Thanks for listening, hopefully the saying 'third time lucky' will prove true...
Hope you're all doing well with your own battles,
Young 'un x
This is unfortunately not the first time I've tried sobriety, but hopefully it will be the last. I managed two weeks of not drinking earlier in the year (which is ridiculous) and then completely fell off the wagon and have been going off on benders every weekend. I have been doing this since I was around 17.
Last night was a real wake up call as I took things far too far. I freaked my brother out - apparently I was falling over and completely confused as to where I was and who he was. I don't remember anything as I always blackout for at least a few hours. I had been drinking all day and hadn't eaten. To make things worse I completely disgraced myself in front of my superior who came for a drink with me. She drank about 2/3 drinks whilst I proceeded to get completely bladdered despite my best intentions to keep it to a minimum. My lack of self control with alcohol is shocking and frightening. The regret/remorse/embarrassment today has been unbearable.
Thanks for listening, hopefully the saying 'third time lucky' will prove true...
Hope you're all doing well with your own battles,
Young 'un x
Hey Young'un ,
there's a whole armoury of ideas and people here to help, you are not alone . Drinking for me was always a loaded dice game i never won, i used to have blackouts more often than not . I'm an alcoholic and the only sure way of controling my drinking was to remain abstinant and to learn things to cope with the difficult emotions that left me dealing with,
Bestwishes, M
there's a whole armoury of ideas and people here to help, you are not alone . Drinking for me was always a loaded dice game i never won, i used to have blackouts more often than not . I'm an alcoholic and the only sure way of controling my drinking was to remain abstinant and to learn things to cope with the difficult emotions that left me dealing with,
Bestwishes, M
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 316
Hi Youngun! (lol-I call my kids younguns)... If you've had enough-and feel like you are ready-you can do this... forget the shame and all that and go after it... Don't forget to try a program like AA. That's what I'm in and it's saving my life for sure!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Harrisburg, PA
Posts: 37
I have on-again, off-again battles myself. That said, I have gone over a month for the first time probably since like 10th grade (I am 35). Trust me, I get the days where I "need" a drink. Not having any alcohol in the house helps. After all, that causes me to have to drive up and back thinking if I really want to do this.
All the other times, I always just wanted to cut back. Still, I inevitably reverted back to an everyday drinker. I have realized that I just need to avoid it. Hang in there! It's hard, but if I can do it I am postive you can as well.
All the other times, I always just wanted to cut back. Still, I inevitably reverted back to an everyday drinker. I have realized that I just need to avoid it. Hang in there! It's hard, but if I can do it I am postive you can as well.
Hi
Forget yesterday, it's been and gone. It's today that matters and what you do with it. You can change your life round starting now. You have all the support in the world from all on S.R so go for it.
Big hugs
Gxx
Forget yesterday, it's been and gone. It's today that matters and what you do with it. You can change your life round starting now. You have all the support in the world from all on S.R so go for it.
Big hugs
Gxx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Walking the plank of shame is what I have done on so many occasions while drinking. It's what I do while actively drinking. Maybe that was your last call? We are here for you. Sobriety is a 100% possibility for you.
Please keep posting and reaching out. One foot in front of the other.
Please keep posting and reaching out. One foot in front of the other.
Give AA a chance
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Everybody is scared...And always for no reason....These people want the same thing you want...And the ones that have have it...Want you to have it. It saved this hopeless...helpless alcoholics life...After 35 years of daily drinking I havent had a drink in 14 months....By the way....My first meeting.....I was terrified...LOL.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 37
Congrats Sapling that is an incredible achievement!
You're right, I am completely scared at my life at the moment. I am even more terrified that I have attempted this before and failed so miserably. I suppose this time I have extra motivation though as last night was the worst I have ever got probably. Things can only get better I suppose...
thanks again everyone.
You're right, I am completely scared at my life at the moment. I am even more terrified that I have attempted this before and failed so miserably. I suppose this time I have extra motivation though as last night was the worst I have ever got probably. Things can only get better I suppose...
thanks again everyone.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I was scared of everything...Fear of failure was high on the list...If you go with an open mind and do what these people do....Be willing to take suggestions...And to admit your way isn't working...It will change your life...I can promise you that. Be sure and stick around and let us know how you are doing...I love to see people make it.
Welcome back youngun
I remember being deathly scared too - make a plan, be determined to make changes in your life, find and use support regularly, and you'll find things get better
You need never go through those kinds of events again
D
I remember being deathly scared too - make a plan, be determined to make changes in your life, find and use support regularly, and you'll find things get better
You need never go through those kinds of events again
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 316
Congrats Sapling that is an incredible achievement!
You're right, I am completely scared at my life at the moment. I am even more terrified that I have attempted this before and failed so miserably. I suppose this time I have extra motivation though as last night was the worst I have ever got probably. Things can only get better I suppose...
thanks again everyone.
You're right, I am completely scared at my life at the moment. I am even more terrified that I have attempted this before and failed so miserably. I suppose this time I have extra motivation though as last night was the worst I have ever got probably. Things can only get better I suppose...
thanks again everyone.
For anyone interested, here is a great article on what you expect at your first AA meeting:
Your First AA Meeting
Your First AA Meeting
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