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Abstaining from alcohol, but taking a prescription med

Old 08-24-2012, 09:14 AM
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Abstaining from alcohol, but taking a prescription med

Hi all,

This has me in a bit of a spin as it's 2am and I can't sleep :/ My sponsor has said to me that because i'm taking a prescription medication (strictly AS prescribed, sometimes less than) to level out my mood slightly, i'm still using that as a crutch to help deal with everyday emotions and she can't take me past step 2 as that's not been her experience. That part is fair enough, but we haven't even begun on step 1 and i've been in touch with her every day for the last 2+ months. The fact that this is taking forever to make even a shred of progress is excruciating.

Contrary to what she may believe or think, i'm still riding an absolute rollercoaster; fear and anxiety that can't be alleviated (unless i'm sitting in a meeting, funnily enough), horrific lows and loneliness, psychosomatic symptoms, you know....the works. I have no doubt in my mind for a second that i'm powerless over alcohol. I fully accept this & can identify where and how-internally and externally-my life had become unmanageable. I don't know if it's supposed to be that simple, or a little more complex?

Anyway, my Dr's opinion is that i'm doing "marvelously" at the moment and actually encouraged me to keep taking this medication (valium, up to 5mg per day). I broached the idea of setting up a tapering schedule as I feel that in some ways, i'm a fraud in this whole process, but he actually ignored that request. He voiced that coming off the medication completely and the subsequent withdrawal would be unwise as i've got enough on my plate right now.

There's a lot of internal conflict going on, but i'm not sure if this stems from my interpretation of a guilt trip from my sponsor, or if I do feel like i'm not being 100% honest with myself. If anyone would care to share their experience, it would be greatly appreciated

xx

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Old 08-24-2012, 09:56 AM
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It sounds like you want to be sober but feel guilty due to mixed messages from your doctor and sponsor.

The ONE thing I think you should remember right now is only YOU can say if you are an addict or not. Do you feel that you are using the medication as a crutch? There are a lot of people who legitimately use prescription drugs, I suppose you could say that all of them are using those drugs as a crutch, it depends on how you look at it and that's what's important to see here, this is not a fact it is a matter of opinion.

You know your patterns of use, you know the addictive voice, look at this situation and decide for yourself if taking these drugs is a problem. I don't know that the steps are the most important thing for you right now. In my opinion going to meetings and being with other sober people is the most important thing you can do, and if your sponsor doesn't want to take you past step two, maybe that's okay right now. The steps are something to feel proud of but they are definitely not the only measure of progress.
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Old 08-24-2012, 09:57 AM
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I'd highlllly recommend you post AA questions down in the AA "room" - 12-Step Recovery. There you'll get advice from ppl who've successfully worked the program and have positive experience to share with AA. Specifics like what to do in the program, sponsorship questions, step questions, etc......they're probably best answered by ppl who've done all the work and can tell you what pitfalls to avoid to successfully get through them for yourself.

As for your sponsor, she can't transmit what she doesn't have. Good of her to be cognizant of that and to be honest about it. Is it possible her opinion is correct? I know I've had plenty of diagnosed this and diagnosed that....got some pretty cool meds as a result too. To ask my Doctors......they'd tell you I was doing fabulously too and that I absoooolutely needed those meds. Deep down though, I didn't know if I needed them so much as I just wanted them.

Anyway, what you do re. meds is your business. It's not my call. If I'm your sponsor though and you're doing something I have no or negative experience with, it's important that I share that with you and/or possibly not sponsor you. I've got guys on meds........all I can share with them is the direction of the AA program and my experience. You may or may not LIKE my experience but that's on you, yanno? Just because something is my experience, that doesn't make it fact.....not for everyone and not every time.

On a final note......perhaps your sponsor was someone you identified with at meetings and thought was a great person. Fair enough. Is it also possible though, that they aren't really an AA participant but an AA observer......an audience member? Someone's who's recovered as a result of working/applying the steps knows that their own recovery is largely contingent upon helping other ppl through the same work. If you picked a sponsor who stays sober buy their will power, making up their mind (choosing/deciding) to not drink, and attending meetings......then that's all they can convey to you. Just understand.....what I just described is not AA.....

If this is the case.......and will/choosing/and meetings isn't working for you any better than it worked for ppl like me.......then it's time to have a serious conversation with your sponsor and maybe even look for another.
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Old 08-24-2012, 10:07 AM
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Your sponsor is not your dr.

I take antidepressants because of a chemical imbalance in my brain. That's a medical issue and it has no bearing on my sobriety.
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Old 08-24-2012, 10:14 AM
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Originally Posted by Quinne View Post
Hi all,


Contrary to what she may believe or think, i'm still riding an absolute rollercoaster; fear and anxiety that can't be alleviated (unless i'm sitting in a meeting, funnily enough), horrific lows and loneliness, psychosomatic symptoms, you know....the works. I have no doubt in my mind for a second that i'm powerless over alcohol.

Anyway, my Dr's opinion is that i'm doing "marvelously" at the moment and actually encouraged me to keep taking this medication (valium, up to 5mg per day)
---
not being 100% honest with myself. If anyone would care to share their experience, it would be greatly appreciated
My experience -- I listen to myself, take into consideration what my doctor says, definitely know when I am using something as a crutch, throw out what I consider not relating to my own life. You sound like you have a really good grasp on the 100% honesty. I relate to internal conflict part of your post. It's difficult to meet everyones expectation so you should just try meeting your own for now. Early sobriety is shaky ground which you described very well!

I'd never go off a medicine that was helping me during a difficult time, especially against the advise of my doctor to placate a sponsor/a friend/my spouse/whoever. Only when I felt ready to. Usually we know what we can handle. When I was ready, I made changes that helped with any internal conflicts.

Were it me, had I been 100% honest with my doctor and myself, I'd continue to do what works at that time.
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Old 08-24-2012, 10:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Quinne View Post
Hi all,

This has me in a bit of a spin as it's 2am and I can't sleep :/ My sponsor has said to me that because i'm taking a prescription medication (strictly AS prescribed, sometimes less than) to level out my mood slightly, i'm still using that as a crutch to help deal with everyday emotions and she can't take me past step 2 as that's not been her experience. That part is fair enough, but we haven't even begun on step 1 and i've been in touch with her every day for the last 2+ months. The fact that this is taking forever to make even a shred of progress is excruciating.

Contrary to what she may believe or think, i'm still riding an absolute rollercoaster; fear and anxiety that can't be alleviated (unless i'm sitting in a meeting, funnily enough), horrific lows and loneliness, psychosomatic symptoms, you know....the works. I have no doubt in my mind for a second that i'm powerless over alcohol. I fully accept this & can identify where and how-internally and externally-my life had become unmanageable. I don't know if it's supposed to be that simple, or a little more complex?

Anyway, my Dr's opinion is that i'm doing "marvelously" at the moment and actually encouraged me to keep taking this medication (valium, up to 5mg per day). I broached the idea of setting up a tapering schedule as I feel that in some ways, i'm a fraud in this whole process, but he actually ignored that request. He voiced that coming off the medication completely and the subsequent withdrawal would be unwise as i've got enough on my plate right now.

There's a lot of internal conflict going on, but i'm not sure if this stems from my interpretation of a guilt trip from my sponsor, or if I do feel like i'm not being 100% honest with myself. If anyone would care to share their experience, it would be greatly appreciated

xx

I'm in the aa program and I'm sorry you have a bad sponsor.. That's none of her d@mn business! I have a sponsor who studied under a well know person in AA and she tells me that she's not my doctor and what I take is between me and my doctor (I'm not taking a habit forming med) and I'm taking anxiety meds for now, I will be formally diagnosed when I'm around 6 months-it's leaning toward bipolar disorder. She's a hard core Sponsor-she learned from one of the best! She's supportive of me, my doctors and counselor-she even is willing to drive me to the hospital if I feel suicidal (thankfully not as bad as I used to be). BUT PLEASE consider getting another Sponsor.. you deserve that much.. and it sounds like she has you doubting so much.. Don't feel bad about firing her-YOUR SOBRIETY comes FIRST! I had to let go of 3 sponsors to find her..

DO NOT come off meds if you are getting positive results, your mind needs that as much as someone needs diabetic meds or even heart meds... your mind is just as precious! YOUR doctor told you the way it is-don't let a non professional person tell you different! Believe me, having someone supportive has helped me greatly. See I couldn't go numb anymore with alcohol-but I found it unbearable dealing with my mental health issues and was suicidal (as I had been self medicating for YEARS). When I went on meds, it did make dealing with the mental health much better-sobriety is still a fight-but I have to do whats best for me and no one else!

When it comes to your sobriety, you may find that you have to step over people to get there-you go right ahead and step right over the top of her.. When you do find another-remember to thank her for what she has done for you and that you found someone to help you. What you can do is take phone numbers of the ones with years of sobriety-look for the ones who share a strong message of experience, strength and hope- and call them, you may find strong support, friendship and among them a great sponsor... try to venture out of your immediate town-I went one town over (was having a really bad day-feeling suicidal and wanting to pick up (one month ago) AND I found her! It's been great since-the unconditional love I have from her Makes me feel so good about myself and keeps me fighting everyday-she's got what I want-and if she can do it-I can do it! Good luck Girl, don't give up!
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Old 08-24-2012, 11:12 AM
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This issue of sponsors overstepping their area of influence in this area is so common that there is an AA published pamphlet describing its position on prescription drugs. The AA Member: Prescriptions and Other Drugs. If it comes from your Dr. and she knows your history, ditch anyone who tells you other than to follow your Dr's care advice.
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Old 08-24-2012, 11:23 AM
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I am going to post this as a new thread, and I have no idea where you stand on religion, but I am an alcoholic and am a secular humanist. Therefore, the AA model does not work for me. Instead, I am joined a group called SOS, Secular Organization for Sobriety, or Save Our Selves. I've found relief from the guilt and self-loathing that some feel with AA. Please do not get me wrong, I know MANY people who have benifited from AA and that is wonderful, but there is something else out there. The SOS philosophy borrows heavily from AA, but the higher power is not a religious one and it actually empowers you. I AM powerless against the EFFECTS of alcohol on my body. I am not, however, powerless against the call of drink.

If you're interested please Google Secular Organizations for Sobriety. There will be a meeting somewhere close to you.

Peace~
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Old 08-24-2012, 11:38 AM
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Quitting drinking is a very emotional time for many... it's my understanding that valium is not that uncommon for people who are trying to come of off booze due to the increased anxiety. It is habit forming though so you should not try to not become dependent on it for the long term. I got a one month scrip for klonopin recently as I am trying to quit drinking at the same time as ending a relationship. Do I feel guilty about that, no way!

I'm not that familiar with AA but it's my understanding that there is no timeline for the 12 steps and how fast you choose to approach them. It sounds like your sponsor might be adding to your stress levels, maybe you should find someone else who is a little more understanding and not so pushy... just my two cents

or find another program like SMART recovery or Life Ring. No steps.
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Old 08-24-2012, 12:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Quinne View Post
Hi all,

This has me in a bit of a spin as it's 2am and I can't sleep :/ My sponsor has said to me that because i'm taking a prescription medication (strictly AS prescribed, sometimes less than) to level out my mood slightly, i'm still using that as a crutch to help deal with everyday emotions and she can't take me past step 2 as that's not been her experience. That part is fair enough, but we haven't even begun on step 1 and i've been in touch with her every day for the last 2+ months. The fact that this is taking forever to make even a shred of progress is excruciating.

Contrary to what she may believe or think, i'm still riding an absolute rollercoaster; fear and anxiety that can't be alleviated (unless i'm sitting in a meeting, funnily enough), horrific lows and loneliness, psychosomatic symptoms, you know....the works. I have no doubt in my mind for a second that i'm powerless over alcohol. I fully accept this & can identify where and how-internally and externally-my life had become unmanageable. I don't know if it's supposed to be that simple, or a little more complex?

Anyway, my Dr's opinion is that i'm doing "marvelously" at the moment and actually encouraged me to keep taking this medication (valium, up to 5mg per day). I broached the idea of setting up a tapering schedule as I feel that in some ways, i'm a fraud in this whole process, but he actually ignored that request. He voiced that coming off the medication completely and the subsequent withdrawal would be unwise as i've got enough on my plate right now.

There's a lot of internal conflict going on, but i'm not sure if this stems from my interpretation of a guilt trip from my sponsor, or if I do feel like i'm not being 100% honest with myself. If anyone would care to share their experience, it would be greatly appreciated

xx


You are judging and contradicting your sponsor and your doctor. If you think you know better then go for it at your peril. Your best efforts are what got you here

Ask some of the other oldtimers in your group what they think if you must, I don't know you, your sponsor or your Dr. ... You don't want/need a stranger's advice.

My sponsor was almost 15 yrs sober when I joined him and I followed his direction as best I could. I ask my Dr for advice and help and I do what he tells me. I'm coming up on 24 yrs sober and 70 yrs old... both are working well for me .

All the best.

Bob R
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Old 08-24-2012, 12:35 PM
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Your sponsor is not your doctor... cut and dry. End of discussion. If your sponsor wants to be involved in your health care, or does not agree with your doctor, maybe find another one...

That said...

Please be totally honest with your doctor about your concerns regarding alcoholism and the possible issues that Valium may have, for you.... Then stay close to him or her and follow their professional advice.

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Old 08-25-2012, 04:24 AM
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Thank you to everyone for your responses-there's a lot of food for thought
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