bluegem

today is 4 weeks sober... i'm struggling so much today it's unreal... i literally don't know what to do with myself.. i just want to get blind drunk...

does this get any easier?

why is it so hard?

i'm tempted to just go to bed, it's the only thing that's going to stop me...

If anyone has any words of encouragement it would be much appreciated.. xxx

ru12

Hang in there. The urges do pass... sleep if you can. I find that helping other people lets me get outside myself and my problems. I've been sober a good stretch now and it does get easier. Are you using anything to help you stay sober? SMART and AVRT help me.

You can do this!

candi7

I got into the Alcoholics Anonymous program.. I've met supportive people, met my best friend there and also have a sponsor now for their 12 step program.

learn more and find meetings in your area:

Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) Great Britain

MrsKing

Hi bluegem, sorry to hear that you're finding today so tough.

Just remember that you don't have to act upon those thoughts. They are just thoughts and you can let them pass without doing what they tell you to do. Remember why you're sober, what you've achieved - 4 weeks is fantastic - and what you will feel like tomorrow when you wake up. 'Think the drink through' - is it really worth it?

You can do this.

Wishing you all the best. Stay strong. x

MrsKing

Oh and yes - it gets so much easier. I found the four week mark to be about the worst. After 6 weeks I very rarely wanted alcohol, and now (almost five months) when I do think about wanting alcohol, I'm very surprised. Hang in there... I promise that in time you'll not feel this way x

artsoul

Those strong cravings are so uncomfortable - sometimes you just have to take it a minute at a time. For some reason, around 30, 60, and 90 days can be extra challenging, but it really does get better.

Give yourself some extra compassion right now and know that you can get through this!

773niki

I understand your feelings. Is this a constant, daily battle or is today particularly hard? If it's today, screw it, go to sleep! If it's in general, I would recommend a counselor or some meetings or - read a book. Now, I'm not a huge AA'er at all, but I do enjoy reading books written by alcoholics about their lives. It's not preaching - it's real, you can relate, but you can also see how they struggled and turned their lives around. Some of these books are very entertaining and really makes you think.

Try:
--Augusten Burroughs - DRY
--Sacha Scoblic - UNWASTED
--A. J. Adams - UNDRUNK (though this is a little more AA-pushing than I would like)

But I really love the first two - they can help distract you and relate to you and keep you busy. I got alot out of both of them

benice

Oh I hope you don't give in! I know right where you are. At 4 weeks, the struggle was really big and last night I caved. (on day 32) I regret it.

Fight the fight - stay strong. You can do it!

bbthumper

I found my answers and end to my struggles in AA. Maybe look into it. The nice thing about it is not only does it offer a program of recovery, but in those beginning stages of sobrety when we just dont know what to do with ourselves, we can go to meetings to pass time. Before you know it, you will get through days and eventually weeks at a time where you are not thinking about drinking. And eventually through the work of the 12 steps, you get free from the obsession to drink and you can cease fighting it.

Wish you the best. I know it is not easy, but it can get better.

NoFireWater

Bluegem, definitely take a nap if you can if you feel that will help. When we're tired we're more likely to slip. Find something to distract yourself. It will get easier. I think the milestones are hard days because you feel like you can conquer it, so therefore you must not be so bad off, and away the inner voice goes, convincing you to cave. You can resist!!

bluegem

thanx for all the words of encouragement... it has really helped... i've had some dinner and am about to take some PRN to stop the anxiety that's creeping in...

it hasn't been a constant struggle, infact i've found the last week quite good and started to feel better about myself... it started last night when i went for dinner with friends and they were all drinking and then at the end they split the bill equally so i basically paid for their wine... and since then i've just really wanted to drink!!

just hoping i can make it through to next tuesday when i see my therapist again..

ZiggyB

I just started reading Unwasted and I agree it's very good!

bluegem

Thanx for the book suggestions... i have looked them up and added them to my wish list on amazon, when i have a little more money i will definitely get one of them xx

michelle01

I used to feel this way after 4 weeks, it was one of my most difficult times. 'Milestones' in recovery can make us feel more antsy and vulnerable too.

I think it's been said, keep working on the recovery and have hope... it started getting gradually better for me, not as fast as I would have liked it maybe but that's because we have to build ourselves back up again, relearn how to live our lives. Over time I had fewer cravings and they gradually diminished, I know however it is difficult in the beginning and how badly I needed support.

silly

I can see where the check thing would be irritating. How rude. But of course, it's probably more like ignorance.
Next time ask for your own bill right up front. If they give you a hard time, tell them you're trying to keep better track of your expenses so want a separate receipt.

Uninvited

The first week of my recovery was very hard. Then it seemed to get remarkably easy for about 3-5 weeks. Then it was suddenly really hard again. Now I'm back to fairly easy. But there are days when it is slightly harder than others, especially if I encounter any triggers.

Hang in there. It does get better and it's more than worth it.

Dee74

It definitely does get better bluegem - none of us would likely be here if it didn't
What kind of support system do you have?

D

scat143

Dont give in! I am on day 11 and its football tonight! Most parents tailgate and then go out for wings and beer. Well we will not be. I had a twinge of desire but stopped and thought about the consequences. I wish you all the best. : )

hypochondriac

Things will get better Bluegem When I find myself struggling I just do something positive for my recovery... either reading, going to a meeting, writing a journal. Doing positive things to help myself seems to make me feel so much better. I'd be annoyed at paying for other peoples wine too, especially at 4 weeks, but things like that have annoyed me less as time goes on x

bluegem

well i made it through the night sober ... so feeling pretty pleased with myself this morning..!

dee74 .. i have a therapist, but she is an emotional regulation therapist which i'm seeing because of my MH problems... she's not an addiction counsellor, but she has kind of been thrown into it... she's been fab, I can't fault her at all and definitely wouldn't have done it without her... i'm only seeing her for a few more weeks tho and then i'm on my own... i have a CPN tho that i see once a fortnight... but she doesn't really get the alcohol thing and just tells me to stop.. like it's really simple..

I am on a waiting list to see the alcohol team in my area... so hopefully that will come through soon.. i don't think AA is for me... from what i've read, i know people have really good experiences but i just can't see me going to meetings etc..

xx