FarawayFromCars

Have learned that alcoholic sister's crack-addicted boyfriend is abusive. He's beaten her up several times and broken bones. She called the police, he was arrested, and then she bailed him out. She asked me for advice. My advice was to stop seeing him and seek out counseling for abused women. She told me "I don't understand" and that she "loves him." I don't even know what to say to her. My feeling is much like with her alcoholism, I am powerless over this, also.

suki44883

Yes, you are. It's sad, but if she isn't willing to get and stay away from him, there's not much you can do.

blowfly

thats a really tough situation, i had similar with my sister although not as bad, i decided i either had to walk away as she would only leave when she was ready or be there for her. i couldnt leave her to it so i told her what i thought of him and made it clear that i was there for her every time things got bad. i had years of her turning up when things had got bad, being there for her, looking after her etc i hated to see her going through hell with him but i picked the pieces up every time. eventually she left him and she's sorted. hope this helps

theuncertainty

Hugs, Faraway, having been in an abusive relationship, I know that what helped me when I wasn't ready to admit anything was wrong was my sister reminding me that I wasn't alone, that if I needed anything, I just needed to ask her. If I felt like bouncing any events off some one, she'd listen and confirm that it wasn't my imagination. She also would provide information on local shelters and counseling and would have to just put it out there and let me decide what to do with it...

A quote I'd found on helping some one in an abusive relationship: Be there and never turn away. 'Be there and always show support. Don't ever give up.' --Heidi Markow, founder of Beginning Over Foundation

It may be (is) complicated by trying to maintain boundaries due to your sister's addiction... I'm sure it was hard enough on my sister without that... I don't know what else to offer, but wishing you peace and continued strength.