Applecrumble

I'll get out of the house asap this morning. I'll work out a bit and get my dad's birthday presents. I'll ignore all the voices of self hatred and remind myself that, although I've made mistakes, Im an ok person who can improve her behaviour and who is essentially nice and good. In the afternoon, I'll make the house spic and span and then I'll cook something healthy for tea. In the evening I won't just watch tv and think about going to get some booze and ruminate over my powerlessness because I will be empowered to do things that take some effort and skill and I'll read or paint instead.

I hope everyone here will do the same in their own way.

Scolova

Good post & good thing to stay somewhat busy... if\when you hit one of those little road-blocks just stop and take some deep breaths for as long as it takes and get right back with your plans.. if you run out of plans, make more or come back here for some good reading and sharing.
Best wishes.

Grace2

Hi

That's a lovely positive post AppleCrumble. I like your style.

Have a lovely day.

Gxx

Dee74

I hope you have a great day applecrumble - welcome to SR

D

TorontoGuy28

Great way to think ! I would also suggest getting into a recovery program, the more people on your sobriety team, the better !

Applecrumble

Thank you, everyone. I made it through the day, didn't drink and did a few productive things. Today Ill continue to micro organise the stuff in boxes from when we moved in (a year ago ha!) and face life. Hopefully throw loads away!!

I'm unemployed right now which is really frightening but doesn't mean I can't be a solid person and start constructing a new one who deals with stuff instead of dance around the edge of it. Drink allows me to pretend I don't need to take responsibility. If I drink, I my past with all its flimsy highs in work/social life and resulting crashes will be my future, getting worse with every mess and every regret. I can be a hundred times better without it and with working through the issues I have avoided. thanks

Hope you have good days!

Applecrumble

Today so far I've lived quite healthily (eating and exercising ok). For 16 years I was constantly running physically and metaphorically, using alcohol, caffeine and abusing prescription drugs to get through days and nights, I never felt my body really fatigue like this but now I've stopped all that and taken the adrenaline away, stuff hurts and I don't feel like moving like I did. Problem is I love running as a sport Guess I just have to just go with it and rebuild my body safely.

Had some massive panics and self loathing and dark moments but I don't want to drink tonight because tomorrow will be so miserable if I do - it will be difficult enough with a family event.

We don't have to drink on a Friday night!

Applecrumble

I don't want to drink today so I'm going to carry on organising, then go for dinner with my family and read before bed.

'Drugs or overeating or alcohol or sex, it was all just another way to find peace. To escape what we know. Our education. Our bite of the apple.' CHUCK PALAHNIUK, Choke

iWillBSobr

Well met.

I find reading to be very liberating of cravings. It stimulates the neocortex, the area of the brain NOT in charge of addiction, giving me advantage over primitive urges of self-destruction.

blueshades

Apple, it looks you have real insight into how you got here. That, coupled with a desire for a healthy life is a winning combination!

I am also finding that keeping busy, and engaging in physical activities like running, is helping me build a booze-free lifestyle.

Keep it up, you can do it!