I can fix this!
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
I can fix this!
The solution to the problem and the source of the problem are both in the same place.
My own mind.
Only I can pick that drink up.
Only I can go to the bar if I want to.
Only I can act like an ass or say hurtful things out of my mouth.
Flip that....
No one can make me pick up that drink.
No one can get me to the bar if I don't want to go.
No one can be falling down drunk for me.
Only I can.
Guilt, shame, self loathing.... They are all things I make up in my own head. They are not external to me. They cannot be felt by others because others are not me. They are solely mine to believe.
So if the solution and the problem are in the same place then I have to accept certain things if I want to get better.
Nothing outside of me can solve my addiction issues. I have to do the work.
Nothing outside of me can bring me peace of mind. I have to accept myself and all I am or am not.
But heres the thought that makes me so relieved.... So happy... That I am jumping up and down....
Then that means...
Nothing outside of my can hurt me.
I can solve my addiction behaviors and no one can force them on me again.
When I accept certain things about me no one can come along and change that.
I found my peace in my own self.
That puts me in the drivers seat.
Its certainly true I need to do this for myself. That with the tools of AA or AVRT I can do this. Be peacefully sober.
The solution to my problems are in me.
That thought gives me all the hope I need to solve them.
My own mind.
Only I can pick that drink up.
Only I can go to the bar if I want to.
Only I can act like an ass or say hurtful things out of my mouth.
Flip that....
No one can make me pick up that drink.
No one can get me to the bar if I don't want to go.
No one can be falling down drunk for me.
Only I can.
Guilt, shame, self loathing.... They are all things I make up in my own head. They are not external to me. They cannot be felt by others because others are not me. They are solely mine to believe.
So if the solution and the problem are in the same place then I have to accept certain things if I want to get better.
Nothing outside of me can solve my addiction issues. I have to do the work.
Nothing outside of me can bring me peace of mind. I have to accept myself and all I am or am not.
But heres the thought that makes me so relieved.... So happy... That I am jumping up and down....
Then that means...
Nothing outside of my can hurt me.
I can solve my addiction behaviors and no one can force them on me again.
When I accept certain things about me no one can come along and change that.
I found my peace in my own self.
That puts me in the drivers seat.
Its certainly true I need to do this for myself. That with the tools of AA or AVRT I can do this. Be peacefully sober.
The solution to my problems are in me.
That thought gives me all the hope I need to solve them.
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Thanks grace!
It's common sense really but I needed to remind myself that I can do this!
Each of us can. No one can give us our unique solutions but most importantly..... No one can take the solution away once we find it!
Ken
It's common sense really but I needed to remind myself that I can do this!
Each of us can. No one can give us our unique solutions but most importantly..... No one can take the solution away once we find it!
Ken
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
G... Sorry you feel you cannot fix this.
Going to meeting and drinking coffee is part of that fix.
Learning new ways to see ourselves and in turn make choices not to drink is the fix.
No one is going to those meetings and saying I am here for G. I will tell him what you say when I see him. NO... It's you doing the work.
You make that choice to go and NOT drink.
If that's not the fix and your not doing it then maybe we are all lost in this.
You can fix this!
Going to meeting and drinking coffee is part of that fix.
Learning new ways to see ourselves and in turn make choices not to drink is the fix.
No one is going to those meetings and saying I am here for G. I will tell him what you say when I see him. NO... It's you doing the work.
You make that choice to go and NOT drink.
If that's not the fix and your not doing it then maybe we are all lost in this.
You can fix this!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 164
Originally Posted by Weasel1966 
G... Sorry you feel you cannot fix this.
Going to meeting and drinking coffee is part of that fix.
Learning new ways to see ourselves and in turn make choices not to drink is the fix.
No one is going to those meetings and saying I am here for G. I will tell him what you say when I see him. NO... It's you doing the work.
You make that choice to go and NOT drink.
If that's not the fix and your not doing it then maybe we are all lost in this.
You can fix this!
Going to meeting and drinking coffee is part of that fix.
Learning new ways to see ourselves and in turn make choices not to drink is the fix.
No one is going to those meetings and saying I am here for G. I will tell him what you say when I see him. NO... It's you doing the work.
You make that choice to go and NOT drink.
If that's not the fix and your not doing it then maybe we are all lost in this.
You can fix this!
Think for today I'll just try to "un-break" this
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
I like that!
Then un break it until there ain't nothing else broke.
It will take forever for me to do that but not drinking and trying is a better result than what the hell I had been living.
And positives attract positives no?
Then un break it until there ain't nothing else broke.
It will take forever for me to do that but not drinking and trying is a better result than what the hell I had been living.
And positives attract positives no?
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Nothing much amazes more than how people can go through the same or very simmalar experiences and have completely different perceptions.
I think it shows how much of our lives and reactions to life are skewed by our own perception . when you think of something do you think of i, us, the human race as a whole, with respect to the 4 dimesions or the 10, 11 or 24 others people say might be there .
We can choose our perspective of events, build compassion for ourselves and others, When we look at someone do we see the person as they appear ? a representation of their self percption or lack of, do we see the crying baby, the abused child, their perception of the life experience they had.
In the end i thought darn all the trauma i was born of and my thoughts this way and that, I'm going to choose to be happy now and laugh, accept the pain and suffering and let it all go ..
learn to accept and let go of the "i want" of addiction , the "he hurt me" ,the "she abused me" , the "i deserve" of a self important ego ..
Sounds like you're having some quite profound thought there , maybe it will lead to a less tormented you , sounds positive ,
Bestwishes, M
I think it shows how much of our lives and reactions to life are skewed by our own perception . when you think of something do you think of i, us, the human race as a whole, with respect to the 4 dimesions or the 10, 11 or 24 others people say might be there .
We can choose our perspective of events, build compassion for ourselves and others, When we look at someone do we see the person as they appear ? a representation of their self percption or lack of, do we see the crying baby, the abused child, their perception of the life experience they had.
In the end i thought darn all the trauma i was born of and my thoughts this way and that, I'm going to choose to be happy now and laugh, accept the pain and suffering and let it all go ..
learn to accept and let go of the "i want" of addiction , the "he hurt me" ,the "she abused me" , the "i deserve" of a self important ego ..
Sounds like you're having some quite profound thought there , maybe it will lead to a less tormented you , sounds positive ,
Bestwishes, M
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Thanks M that was well said and it moved me.
I want to tell people that when I was in rehab it hit me and I did not like the answer. I was there and realized no one here was going to save me...... Just me.
That's what I am doing in all this. Letting go of one perception and grabbing pn to another.
Letting go of being a drunk and grabbing for being a sober person.
If I cannot see that a "fix" what ever the hell that is or how we get there is not possible.... Well then. What have we got?
Bupkis.
I want to tell people that when I was in rehab it hit me and I did not like the answer. I was there and realized no one here was going to save me...... Just me.
That's what I am doing in all this. Letting go of one perception and grabbing pn to another.
Letting go of being a drunk and grabbing for being a sober person.
If I cannot see that a "fix" what ever the hell that is or how we get there is not possible.... Well then. What have we got?
Bupkis.
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Drinking is a selfish thing we do. And I guess some choose to feel trapped. I have many times and do today in many ways. But trapped only means there is a way out. Otherwise I would be entombed.
I respect how hard this is for all of us. But when hope is all there is left I am not going to abandoned it.
Ken
I respect how hard this is for all of us. But when hope is all there is left I am not going to abandoned it.
Ken
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
I think for me being alcoholic means i was using something external to try and solve and deal with problems that were internal in nature .
There is no quick fix for a quick fix , stopping drinking certainly helps one get a handle on things , you've got to do the work though , stop running, take the pain, face the fear and deal with it . Takes you somewhere good tho'
Bestwishes, M
There is no quick fix for a quick fix , stopping drinking certainly helps one get a handle on things , you've got to do the work though , stop running, take the pain, face the fear and deal with it . Takes you somewhere good tho'
Bestwishes, M
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 604
Ken, it is SUCH a bummer when it finally gets through our thick skulls that there's not an easy button, no one can solve it for us, and it won't happen on it's own. WTF do you mean I have to do it on my own? 
Ironically, I think it's that moment that healing begins to start. No more denial, or blaming it on something or someone else, just the bare basics. It's my problem, I have to fix it. Simple is good these days for me. It's about all I can handle actually lol
It's so true, we are letting go of perceptions and exchanging them for better ones. I'd rather be known as a non-drinker than a drunk. I'd rather be the DD than the arrested one. I'd rather buy art supplies than Captain Morgan. I think we get trapped in the drinking mode for so long we feel there aren't other options for us. Yet, there are SO many other options. There is ALWAYS hope!
Ironically, I think it's that moment that healing begins to start. No more denial, or blaming it on something or someone else, just the bare basics. It's my problem, I have to fix it. Simple is good these days for me. It's about all I can handle actually lol
It's so true, we are letting go of perceptions and exchanging them for better ones. I'd rather be known as a non-drinker than a drunk. I'd rather be the DD than the arrested one. I'd rather buy art supplies than Captain Morgan. I think we get trapped in the drinking mode for so long we feel there aren't other options for us. Yet, there are SO many other options. There is ALWAYS hope!
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