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What's in my craving?

Old 08-20-2012, 12:47 PM
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What's in my craving?

I want to understand what happens to me and my mind at the moment a craving becomes a conscious thought.

It's important for me to ask that question of myself so I can identify the feelings better or maybe see them coming more easily.

My physical reactions include racing heart, perhaps it even skips a beat in more intense situations.

My mind tries to close down on rational thought. It blocks out many of the processes that I have when not craving such as thinking through issues, taking a moment to determine the reaction, or allowing myself to reach out for help.

There is a certain amount of excitement that comes to me in the moments before I would drink. The anticipation of the sweet oblivion I was about to enter. I may even perspire some in anticipation.

My hearing is not effected other than to say I don't want to hear anything other than "yes ken you can go drink if you want" and that message comes in so many forms. Both silent and spoken. the mere suggestion or insinuation that a drink is near is all I need.

My personality changes. I become argumentative and can sometimes lash out with words unprovoked in order to remain deaf to my thoughts and deflect the true intent onto something undeserving of my focus.

I suspect I am not uniques in any of this. I can see things coming way further back in the process than ever before. I saw what was happening yesterday. I should have cancelled the plans I knew would put my in harms way. But perhaps I wanted to be able to point a finger at something or someone once I drank.

I know these things will change or become less intense as time goes by. I know I will be able to stop and do nothing with them but observe them from a vantage point.

Each day I am learning and growing and I am great full for this growth.

I am grateful for so many things about getting sober. Just being sober is a gift.

Thanks for all the support I get here.

Ken
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Old 08-20-2012, 12:53 PM
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In my opinion, a craving is your body telling you that it requires something its missing.

When low on energy, you'll most likely crave something with sugar. If you've been doing lots of sweating etc. you may or may not crave salty potatoe chips. A pregnant woman, ice cream to help with low calcium etc.

With me, getting sober, my body required alcohol because it had gotten so used to it, so I craved it, but just because my body says it needs it doesn't make it a good thing.

Being able to decide whether to give in, as in pregnancy, or deny, as in alcoholism is what counts.
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Old 08-20-2012, 01:00 PM
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Well, I think a mental craving is your mind telling you that it needs something from outside of you, in order to feel okay. And, it doesn't. You have everything within you that you need.
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Old 08-20-2012, 01:14 PM
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For me learning how to deal with the craving was key, understanding why is a whole new chapter .
As afterall if you deal with a trauma that sets you off drinking what would happen if you solve that and then a new trauma occours ? For me if i'd have not learned how to deal with things differently i'd have gone down that same old path, drinking ...
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Old 08-21-2012, 01:10 PM
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My cravings generally seem to come out of nowhere but if I really think about it they are usually a delayed response to stress or some other situation I am not coping well with. Keeping a journal really helps pin point exactly what.

Hyperactivity is my main immediate response trigger. If I am hyper/worked up/anxious, then the cravings come on strong. I get this weird feeling in my head or stomach which I think will go away if I drink. I can't wait til that one dies down!

This is a really good thread Ken. I think if we are aware of what is actually 'in' our cravings then they will lose their power somewhat
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