I have the tools, just don't use them correctly
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Inbetween dances
Posts: 548
I have the tools, just don't use them correctly
I have all the tools I need, right at my fingertips. I just don't use them. I didn't pick up the phone yesterday when I picked up the wine. I know better. I'm not beating myself up, I guess I just thought since I screwed up two times this week, why not make it a third? Well, I need to use those tools properly. I have the biggest desire to quit drinking. I just had another moment of weakness, routine, patterns, blah. Blah blah! I know what I need to do- and on e again I'm doing it. Sitting with my kids at the park right now. Happy to be sober. And happy tht yesterday happened, so I know yet again why I wanting want to drink. Thanks for always encouraging and being supportive, lord knows I need it. Thanks again... Sarah 
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Inbetween dances
Posts: 548
its just absolutely ridiculous! i had such great momentum, hardly even thought about drinking, just was so elated at how well i was feeling, then boom three times in 4 days? its frustrating, but i am totally not living in last night or the other nights, i am living in the sober me. trying to convince myself that there is no real pressure here. its a choice. its my choice. no one can make that choice for me, but me. why is it when we are told no, wither by ourselves or someone else, we feel we need to play god and tempt fate? it is quite ridiculous! have a great sober night sr! im going to keep reading!
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
Chardonnay - I believe you will get there. I was the same way for quite a while, but finally this last time was it. I got tired of the game and just stopped trying to play. I lost every time. Glad you are here talking about it truthfully.
You can do it, we know that.
You can do it, we know that.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Inbetween dances
Posts: 548
thanks inda! yep! i am sober watching shark week and drinking water. getting sleepy.... thats something i love, getting tired on my own. not passing out. oh yeah, on a side note, my wedding ring is fitting better.. looser.... love it! cant wait to see what i can report next saturday! yay!
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
I look forward to what you might report tomorrow
That is awesome about your ring , I was one of the opposites and gained weight after quitting. But for me dont care , I take the couple extra pounds to just be free the the old daily torture.
Sleep well. And I love shark week. lol.
That is awesome about your ring , I was one of the opposites and gained weight after quitting. But for me dont care , I take the couple extra pounds to just be free the the old daily torture.
Sleep well. And I love shark week. lol.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Chardonnay, a trick that I find very useful is the idea that any thought about drinking or buying wine or beer comes from the addict inside me, but not really from 'me'. I can hear that you know this idea, since you talk about it here.
That voice you describe is both - it is us and it is someone else at the same time, it is the addiction voice inside our head.
I find that when I assign that voice away from me, it makes it so much easier to be separate from it. I recognize that voice whenever I hear, you deserve a drink after all that, it's ok to have one or two, you've already had two so why not three, you will never be able to do quit, all of these suggestions of self doubt and drinking are the Alcoholic Voice.
You betcha. You are in control just by identifying that voice and exposing it for what it is. You do have the power to make that choice. Just make that plan, that choice once and for all: I will never drink again. You can do it, you really can.
We are told no, wither by ourselves or someone else, we need to tempt fate (and have a drink).
I find that when I assign that voice away from me, it makes it so much easier to be separate from it. I recognize that voice whenever I hear, you deserve a drink after all that, it's ok to have one or two, you've already had two so why not three, you will never be able to do quit, all of these suggestions of self doubt and drinking are the Alcoholic Voice.
It's a choice. It's my choice. and no one can make that choice for me, but me.
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