Mizzuno

I sat down and Big Planned it. I thought there was going to be lightning or thunder or something dramatic. I was hoping that the sky would open up and angels would be singing the most beautiful song the world has ever heard. The flash cards were all intense as I read AVRT........Out loud I spoke the words "I will never drink again and I will never change my mind!". The End.

tjololo

are you an addict? i mean you do drink and may be you hate it. but do you feel that you are in control of substance or is it like you are in controll of bad mind which does know what to do nut can't execute that.

Mizzuno

I have serious issues with Alcohol Not everything has to be so heavy. I've gone around and around with Alcohol. I took it seriously when I made the big Plan. Not everything regarding drinking and my choosing to not drink has to have heaviness to it. So, if this offended you my apologies. There is room here to be lite hearted.

ReadyAndAble

Good for you Mizzuno! Welcome to the other side of the Big Plan—it's nice over here, isn't it?

freshstart57

That is great news, Mizzuno. The beauty of this simplest of plans is that it leaves the beast nowhere to hide. Anything at all that suggests other than your BigPlan is the beast.

Tjololo, Mizzuno is working on a specific plan to stop drinking called Addictive Voice Recognition Technique. It is about learning how to identify the urge to drink and separating from it, and thinking that it comes from the 'animal part' of you. Mizzuno knows that she doesn't need to do what this voice says, and that she is more powerful than this Addictive Voice because it really can't do anything by itself. Making a promise to never drink again and never change her mind, the Big Plan, is a part of this AVRT.

I think you described the conflict we have in our minds - part of us wants a drink, and part of us knows better. This AVRT is a way to listen to the good mind, and ignore the bad mind, if you want to put it that way.

You can see more discussion about it in this forum, and by googling AVRT. If you have any questions, bring em on! Hope to see more of you around here, tjololo.

Obladi

Mizzuno,

I am glad for you. In a quiet, non-lightning bolt kind of way. Which is really how life oughta be 99% of the time, no?

Best wishes to you on this new journey.

Mizzuno

This decision feels powerful. The statement in itself that " I will never drink again and I will never change my mind" gives resolve to something that was a major struggle. There is something to be said about taking charge of your own life. When the voice of doubt comes in ( I have already experienced it) I know that it is and only me that will feed that doubt. Im very content in this.
Thanks for all the support and kind words of encouragement. I feel blessed.

Dalek

This is in no way meant to imply that your Beast is "doing pushups in the parking lot", getting buff while you sit on a folding chair eating doughnuts, getting out of shape and weaker (whether in real life or in front of a computer), but just as you will inevitably re-organize around your new non-drinking/using mandate, so will your Beast re-organize in response to your Big Plan. The Beast is a survival drive, a living, feeling thing, and no living thing wants to die, so it has no choice but to do this. Expect a few curve-balls, knuckle-balls, and slider-balls from your Beast.

So, set your confidence for lifetime abstinence arbitrarily at 100%, and recognize all self-doubt as AV, as your Beast talking. Treat it as any other AV, and you'll do fine.

BillyWeaver

That easy huh?


Interesting

freshstart57

Maybe you might say, 'It's that simple', instead. It really is simple, and it's only as difficult as we choose to make it. It's simple because the whole idea of AVRT comes from the collected wisdom of thousands of people who 'quit on their own' as the recovery-ists like to call it. At the very lowest level, we really are simple creatures. At the higher level, we have a brain and free will, and we can make things into what we choose by deciding how we are going to think about them.

There is more info on AVRT if you google Rational Recovery. It might ring a bell for you too.

freshstart57

That brand new knowledge gave me a feeling of immense relief, of achievement, of pride. It gave me the feeling of finally being free.

Now THAT'S a buzz!

onlythetruth

Yes, that's now it was for me, too.

What happened with me was that I was addicted to alcohol for 25 years. During that time, I never seriously tried to quit. For a long time I didn't want to, and then when I did, it seemed like I "couldn't". But then the strangest thing happened, after an embarrassing incident: I woke up one morning and said: "I am done. I am going to quit drinking or die in the attempt."

Melodramatic as that probably sounds, that was my EXACT thought and it was indeed incredibly freeing. I had identified the problem, stared it in the face and made my decision. I felt a sense of purpose and freedom immediately, from the very first day.

This is not to be confused with it being "easy". It was not. There were a few times when that "die trying" notion seemed like it was maybe going to come into play, particularly during the very early time when the AV was still strong and I was trying to make sense of a different recovery philosophy. There was also the fact that I was quite a mess psychologically and had a lot of growing up to do. But no matter what, I never wavered from my decision: that was a done deal from day one.

That all started just about 14 years ago--and it's worked out. I quit drinking for good, and I did not die trying.

Mizzuno

@onlythetruth
When you said "this is not to be confused with being easy" that rang home for me. It is not easy. My struggle will inevitably creep in, like it always has, trying to take me down. My AV is doing pushups close by. My AV is going to come and scream at me sometime soon and i need to be armed and ready for it.
I do however feel a resolve and I feel less burdened. The other approaches that I took (many many many times) have felt heavy and almost like I was on a cliff. Ive never been one for heights. Im not that big of a risk taker (funny how I was risking my life every time I picked up....Hmmmm)
Its all new right now. Practice makes perfect.

freshstart57

Mizzuno, struggles for me get tiring very quickly. A simple mindful awareness is what I have learned to do. That mindfulness lets me rise above that level of thought, it really almost is on the subconscious level anyway so I don't have to go far. But anyway, try to let the noise be, leave it alone, because that is all it really is - noise.

Mizzuno

@ freshstart
Yes, its just noise. Mindful awareness. I like it. I'm going to think hard about that. I'm digging this approach.

aeo1313

It is simple- don't drink and ignore the voice that tells you it's ok to drink. Last night I ran my first 5k. While chatting with friends before the race I thought "I should have a beer when we are done". The race started and I ran...and kept running. Every step I took I thought about how I am beating the Beast. It doesn't want me running and "high" on life. At the end when I realized I hadn't walked it at all I almost cried. I won!! The Beast LOST!!!

tjololo

oh no , your post did n't offended at all. actually i'm very happy with your thoughts , i was just little curious about you so i asked. sorry to made you felt that way. and hey , have a nice time.

Mizzuno

Sorry tjololo. I was wondering if I took that the wrong way??