Weasel1966

In speaking with a friend I realized something.

I am in survival mode.

For me it's when everything on the sidelines is blurred out and I focus intently on what needs to be done.

People in accidents, abuse, military, any stressful situation really.

With my drinking this is an extended period of it.

I must wake with a single purpose.

Yes all those life things are there but everything is done with a heightened awareness. That's what i see exhausts people most on SR.

I have been in this mode two other times in my life.

As a child in an abusive alcoholic house and again in my early twenties when I was homeless for a short while.

My maturity and age have little to do with it. The work needs to be done regardless. And that's going to take some time to adjust to.

There are so many positive posts today about reaching a different plateau. I know my time is coming.

So for now... That heightened awareness of where to go, who to associate with, and what I can share will be what's needed to keep moving in a positive and fulfilling direction.

Happier

"Survival" mode. What an appropriate name!

FredG

Absolutely nothing wrong with surviving.

chrisinphx

Wow you are so right. You are very insightful. That mindset in myself and the understanding of people around me that that mindset was important for getting off my doc was definatly one of the keys. When your life truley hangs in the balance then you have to be selfish and focus. Using this disease as an excuse to due nothing is not what im refering to of course. If anyone out there is surrounding themselves with people who dont understand and or support this way of thinking then I would suggest a better support group. I dont why I posted this considering it was someone elses insight , I guess I wanted to hear myself talk.

mecanix

When i psycologically "battened down the hatches" to get through , the only relief i had was through drinking which in turn only increased the stress and anxiety , a negative feedback loop .

M

ph3314

This sounds a lot like Maslow's Hierarchy of needs theory. Not to go too deep into it, but the fundamentals seem pretty logical and basically where you said you are makes perfect sense. We must have that basic sense of security before we can truly work on and develop any kind of relationship with self and others. I think that is part of why they say to not make any major changes in at least the first year of recovery. Not to say I agree with that, I think the time period will be different for everybody. No one can say that everyone is ready for something at a certain time obviously.

Anyway, great insight and thanks for sharing it with us. It reminded me of all of this. I learned about this Maslow's Heirarchy in group therapy. Funny thing was, my son who was in 8th grade at the time brought home the same pyramid that the therapist had given us. HE was studying addiction at the time. Coincidence, I think not. hahaha.

Weasel1966

Great feedback. Seems that my thought process is common enough to not be crazy and still get the job done in my life. It is such a personal thing.

I even learned a little something today! Thanks.

Negative feedback loop? That's a possibility but if I don't focus on the drinking than
Most everything else will also be a negative feedback loop. No?

Guess we need to pick our loops wisely!


K

FredG

Doesn't matter what type of loop we experienc - negative - positive - all the same

As long as we don't get caught up in them and can learn from them.

NoFireWater

Great description Weasel, it truly is survival mode. Most of us are scared for our health, we want to survive, we want to avoid hospitals, and get healthy.
It's like a quiet determination from within, where you know you need to do this, but maybe this time you're really ready make the change. You know you're feeling different this time, you know it's serious. The excuses have been stripped away. The rationalizing isn't working anymore. The benefits of not drinking are outweighing the perceived "fun" of the lifestyle. We're in the trenches and there are landmines all around us but we're navigating them all together-safety in numbers?!