Newbie Here(1st Post): Idk where to start, totally LOST & in a fog
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: new york
Posts: 8
Newbie Here(1st Post): Idk where to start, totally LOST & in a fog
Hello,
I have surfed this forum on and off for the past 6 months or so (while I was high, & planning my so called "End" to taking pain killers)...
My story is pretty much the same as the "usual suspects" when it comes to oxycodone. I was hospitalized in Nov. 2011 for a bad stomach infection (or collitis, not too sure). While being in the hospital, I was given 1mg dilaudid injections (my MY, were they amazing at the time
) every 4 hours for 3 days. Upon my release, I was prescribed 30 percocet 5/325 X every 4-6 hours. I knew what these pills were, and had seen and heard of a few of old friends having problems with these opiates, but NoWAY, not Me!! (yeah right, smh).
Of course, since they were prescribed by a Dr, I felt legitimate, and not like a "user" being that the old friends were getting them off the street, and taking "loads" like 250-350mg a day! (well, that's what it seemed to me at the time).
Of course, those 30 perks were gone within 7 days... And within those 7 days, I had fallen in love with them. I felt no pain (minor back & foot aches from golfing), I was peppy, chipper, & mult-MULTI-tasked at work. I felt unstoppable. Now, I work in a neighborhood where these pills are SO easily accessible (at a decent price).. It's like all the weed dealers turned into prescription pill dealers and that's all I heard on my way to and from work, everyday. "Yoyo.. I got those O's, I got those bananas, I got those blues" etc...
Without fail, as soon as I took my last 5/325, I was scouting out who to talk to and what I was looking to get (Oxy, the ones w/o APAP).
Being that I am well known in the "hood" and "knowing ppl", I had a middle man do my 1st transaction, and it happened in a matter of 2 minutes. I was GOLDEN. He was happy making a few bucks per "bunch", the dealers were happy to sell a "bunch" (instead of 1 or 2), and most importantly, I WAS HAPPY, being that I was set for a good while.. with a pretty much unlimited supply right outside my front door.
It started with the 10/325s, while stock piling some green 15mg, purple 20mg, and blue 30s. After about a month, I had a LOT of inventory to say the least. (Not good)
Dosage wise, by Jan 2012, I would say I was taking anywhere between 30-60mg a day, while taking a day off, here and there.
I was, and still AM, very conscious of how many mg's and at what time I was taking them. The problem is, as time went on, as the old story goes, I was taking more and more, just to feel normal (so to speak?).
I am not sure what "NOT NORMAL" would even be, because I have NEVER even given myself a chance to see what it would feel like to "NOT"take a pill for even 1 day since.
So I will cut to the chase and talk about my current "issues" or addiction... Ugh, I HATE that word, but sadly enough, I realize, even as I am typing this, that I AM a FULL BLOWN ADDICT
It has now been about 10 months since my 1st percocet, with gradual increases in mg's dosages every month or so....
Hence, as of now I am at anywhere between 80mg-120mg a day It's been at this level for the past month...
It's like clockwork. Set my alarm 30 minutes ahead (6:30am), so I can take my 1st dose (ugh, I hate that word too) without having problems in regards to getting out of bed on time(7am).. However, the doses have gone up, and now my 1st dose is 15mg, where it was only 5mg for the 1st 3 months- then 10...and now, 15
Then drink my morning cup of Joe, shower, feed my 3 year old son (wife is 13 weeks pregnant w/ 2nd child, and pretty much dibilitated from Hyperemesis which is severe morning sickness x10000, so that isn't helping.)
Then rush him off to daycare, and then off to my daily grind at work.
I am self employed and have a VERY demanding "must be there" job, tending to hundreds of customers a day, while supervising 12 employees, and running the "whole" business... it's too much to type.. In a nutshell, customers, more customers, emails, orders, maintain products, maintain quality of the physical business (inspections, cleanliness), expenses, taxes, payrolls, more taxes, paperwork, bills, more bills, more taxes (you get the idea)
Forgive me for rambling, I am just venting I guess...
By 8:30pm, it's time to go home-
And also by 8:30pm, I will have probably taken 70-90mgs (currently), and begin my commute home. Furthermore, I am NOT the once happy, perky, energetic person that I was back 10 months ago... which is leading me up to my point at this moment in time.
I feel helpless when it comes to these pills. I feel like "uh-oh, if I don't take it, how will I get myself out of bed? How will I get to work, or even if I get to work, how the HECK am I going to get through 10-12 hours of all the work? How and when am I ever going to stop?"
Not to mention on my way home?? Forget it... I am in a TOTAL FOG, I feel worn out, and can't really recollect what I did for the past 10-12 hours. It's almost like I am a zombie type robot, fueled by these effing pills, but breaking down internally as each day passes.
When I think about how my life was before I was hospitalized, I CAN'T even BELIEVE how fast these 10 months have gone by.. and it seems like ONE BIG HAZY FOG in my Life Timeline.
I want my life back. I was (and still am at heart) a loving, happy, sociable, focused, and determined person, husband, father, business man...
who is now at the mercy of these effing pills and don't know which FIRST step I need to take in means of getting off these pills and getting my life back!
If you've made it down to here with me, I want to thank you for even taking the time to read
thanks
But furthermore am open to ANY suggestions as to how to get myself off these pills while maintaining my demanding lifestyle...
I can't be out of work for more than 5 days or my business will completely crumble (I feel). I have a manager who I only trust to a certain extent (lots of money to handle) and he too, is only capable of so much. The rest, without me, will eventually fall apart if I don't maintain them...
I am in a real pickle.
I have recently told my wife the TRUTH, the WHOLE TRUTH, and as upset as she is, I have her full support, thank God. On the point of God, I am a devoted Christian who has FULL faith in God (although I know I am hurting Him everyday that I don't stop this madness) who goes to church every Sunday... I also have a very loving mother who is involved in my business, but has her own business to run, which is just as demanding, if not more.
And so on.. I honestly believe I had, and have SO much going for me (not in a cocky way at all) and it's such a shame to have to even share this about myself. I just don't want to lose everything I have, and while I am still functioning and have some sense left, I thought I would reach out to you guys, as a measure of trying to see what I am really dealing with, and what it's going to take to get my life back...
Maybe you don't have an exact answer, and again, I thank you for taking the time to read my personal story (i wish it was fiction)..
Sorry if I rambled and was allover the place, however IF, you can sort of see where I am coming from and what I am asking, then please tell me something to point me in the right direction, because as of right now, as I said in the title, I am completely & shamefully LOST right now.
(I could've gone on and on, but it's time to close up)
Many Blessings,
Me~
I have surfed this forum on and off for the past 6 months or so (while I was high, & planning my so called "End" to taking pain killers)...
My story is pretty much the same as the "usual suspects" when it comes to oxycodone. I was hospitalized in Nov. 2011 for a bad stomach infection (or collitis, not too sure). While being in the hospital, I was given 1mg dilaudid injections (my MY, were they amazing at the time
) every 4 hours for 3 days. Upon my release, I was prescribed 30 percocet 5/325 X every 4-6 hours. I knew what these pills were, and had seen and heard of a few of old friends having problems with these opiates, but NoWAY, not Me!! (yeah right, smh).Of course, since they were prescribed by a Dr, I felt legitimate, and not like a "user" being that the old friends were getting them off the street, and taking "loads" like 250-350mg a day! (well, that's what it seemed to me at the time).
Of course, those 30 perks were gone within 7 days... And within those 7 days, I had fallen in love with them. I felt no pain (minor back & foot aches from golfing), I was peppy, chipper, & mult-MULTI-tasked at work. I felt unstoppable. Now, I work in a neighborhood where these pills are SO easily accessible (at a decent price).. It's like all the weed dealers turned into prescription pill dealers and that's all I heard on my way to and from work, everyday. "Yoyo.. I got those O's, I got those bananas, I got those blues" etc...
Without fail, as soon as I took my last 5/325, I was scouting out who to talk to and what I was looking to get (Oxy, the ones w/o APAP).
Being that I am well known in the "hood" and "knowing ppl", I had a middle man do my 1st transaction, and it happened in a matter of 2 minutes. I was GOLDEN. He was happy making a few bucks per "bunch", the dealers were happy to sell a "bunch" (instead of 1 or 2), and most importantly, I WAS HAPPY, being that I was set for a good while.. with a pretty much unlimited supply right outside my front door.
It started with the 10/325s, while stock piling some green 15mg, purple 20mg, and blue 30s. After about a month, I had a LOT of inventory to say the least. (Not good)
Dosage wise, by Jan 2012, I would say I was taking anywhere between 30-60mg a day, while taking a day off, here and there.
I was, and still AM, very conscious of how many mg's and at what time I was taking them. The problem is, as time went on, as the old story goes, I was taking more and more, just to feel normal (so to speak?).
I am not sure what "NOT NORMAL" would even be, because I have NEVER even given myself a chance to see what it would feel like to "NOT"take a pill for even 1 day since.
So I will cut to the chase and talk about my current "issues" or addiction... Ugh, I HATE that word, but sadly enough, I realize, even as I am typing this, that I AM a FULL BLOWN ADDICT
It has now been about 10 months since my 1st percocet, with gradual increases in mg's dosages every month or so....
Hence, as of now I am at anywhere between 80mg-120mg a day
It's been at this level for the past month...It's like clockwork. Set my alarm 30 minutes ahead (6:30am), so I can take my 1st dose (ugh, I hate that word too) without having problems in regards to getting out of bed on time(7am).. However, the doses have gone up, and now my 1st dose is 15mg, where it was only 5mg for the 1st 3 months- then 10...and now, 15
Then drink my morning cup of Joe, shower, feed my 3 year old son (wife is 13 weeks pregnant w/ 2nd child, and pretty much dibilitated from Hyperemesis which is severe morning sickness x10000, so that isn't helping.)
Then rush him off to daycare, and then off to my daily grind at work.
I am self employed and have a VERY demanding "must be there" job, tending to hundreds of customers a day, while supervising 12 employees, and running the "whole" business... it's too much to type.. In a nutshell, customers, more customers, emails, orders, maintain products, maintain quality of the physical business (inspections, cleanliness), expenses, taxes, payrolls, more taxes, paperwork, bills, more bills, more taxes (you get the idea)
Forgive me for rambling, I am just venting I guess...
By 8:30pm, it's time to go home-
And also by 8:30pm, I will have probably taken 70-90mgs (currently), and begin my commute home. Furthermore, I am NOT the once happy, perky, energetic person that I was back 10 months ago... which is leading me up to my point at this moment in time.
I feel helpless when it comes to these pills. I feel like "uh-oh, if I don't take it, how will I get myself out of bed? How will I get to work, or even if I get to work, how the HECK am I going to get through 10-12 hours of all the work? How and when am I ever going to stop?"
Not to mention on my way home?? Forget it... I am in a TOTAL FOG, I feel worn out, and can't really recollect what I did for the past 10-12 hours. It's almost like I am a zombie type robot, fueled by these effing pills, but breaking down internally as each day passes.
When I think about how my life was before I was hospitalized, I CAN'T even BELIEVE how fast these 10 months have gone by.. and it seems like ONE BIG HAZY FOG in my Life Timeline.
I want my life back. I was (and still am at heart) a loving, happy, sociable, focused, and determined person, husband, father, business man...
who is now at the mercy of these effing pills and don't know which FIRST step I need to take in means of getting off these pills and getting my life back!
If you've made it down to here with me, I want to thank you for even taking the time to read
thanksBut furthermore am open to ANY suggestions as to how to get myself off these pills while maintaining my demanding lifestyle...
I can't be out of work for more than 5 days or my business will completely crumble (I feel). I have a manager who I only trust to a certain extent (lots of money to handle) and he too, is only capable of so much. The rest, without me, will eventually fall apart if I don't maintain them...
I am in a real pickle.
I have recently told my wife the TRUTH, the WHOLE TRUTH, and as upset as she is, I have her full support, thank God. On the point of God, I am a devoted Christian who has FULL faith in God (although I know I am hurting Him everyday that I don't stop this madness) who goes to church every Sunday... I also have a very loving mother who is involved in my business, but has her own business to run, which is just as demanding, if not more.
And so on.. I honestly believe I had, and have SO much going for me (not in a cocky way at all) and it's such a shame to have to even share this about myself. I just don't want to lose everything I have, and while I am still functioning and have some sense left, I thought I would reach out to you guys, as a measure of trying to see what I am really dealing with, and what it's going to take to get my life back...
Maybe you don't have an exact answer, and again, I thank you for taking the time to read my personal story (i wish it was fiction)..
Sorry if I rambled and was allover the place, however IF, you can sort of see where I am coming from and what I am asking, then please tell me something to point me in the right direction, because as of right now, as I said in the title, I am completely & shamefully LOST right now.
(I could've gone on and on, but it's time to close up)
Many Blessings,
Me~
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by ctown316 
But furthermore am open to ANY suggestions as to how to get myself off these pills while maintaining my demanding lifestyle...
That said, not everyone is willing to work the whole program. Of those that are, many try to mix and match what they want to do for what they're instructed to do.
I'll leave it at this..... 12-step is a spiritually based program of recovery. You don't need willpower, you don't need to understand every facet of your addiction, you don't need your friends and family to change, you don't even really need their support...... you do, however, need to follow directions and that's a toughie for most of us.
A way out? You bettcha.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((ctown)) - Welcome to SR!! I lurked here for quite a while before signing on, too. I read a LOT and realized that though my DOC (drug of choice) was crack, I could see a lot of "me" in other threads where people were addicted to something else.
Basically, I found an entire world of people who "get us" and who are more than willing to share ES&H (experience, strength and hope). Keep reading and posting. I have no personal experience on the opiate withdrawals, but there are a LOT of people here who do.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Basically, I found an entire world of people who "get us" and who are more than willing to share ES&H (experience, strength and hope). Keep reading and posting. I have no personal experience on the opiate withdrawals, but there are a LOT of people here who do.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: new york
Posts: 8
Hello again,
Thanks for reading and the replies...
I am home now and in bed anxiously waiting on replies (no pressure)..
Since I am down to about 4-5 days supply, I've decided to try and make a conscious effort to take my 1st BIG STEP and get off these pills...
That said, I have some questions flying around my head..
Mainly, do I just go full cold turkey after I have run out? Or do I cut the dosages and attempt to wean off, and then stop?
Should I call my Dr and ask about Suboxone?
I already know how difficult this will be, and already have read a LOT of posts on hard this will be. However, I see MANY MANY posts where people are 1,2,3,4,5 days CLEAN & actually dealing with it- which is very promising, and what really seems to help is the support of forum members
Given I go forth with this- I will definitely start a new thread and report my progress. Again, I am uncertain as to which way I should start this...
All I know is that enough is enough, and I'm sick & tired of feeling like this.
When I look at my wife and son, the guilt is almost too much to bear, so I must do something about this .. Now, not later-
So any further input as to what approach I should take would be great..
Thanks friends (May I call you friends?)
Blessings-
Me
Thanks for reading and the replies...
I am home now and in bed anxiously waiting on replies (no pressure)..
Since I am down to about 4-5 days supply, I've decided to try and make a conscious effort to take my 1st BIG STEP and get off these pills...
That said, I have some questions flying around my head..
Mainly, do I just go full cold turkey after I have run out? Or do I cut the dosages and attempt to wean off, and then stop?
Should I call my Dr and ask about Suboxone?
I already know how difficult this will be, and already have read a LOT of posts on hard this will be. However, I see MANY MANY posts where people are 1,2,3,4,5 days CLEAN & actually dealing with it- which is very promising, and what really seems to help is the support of forum members
Given I go forth with this- I will definitely start a new thread and report my progress. Again, I am uncertain as to which way I should start this...
All I know is that enough is enough, and I'm sick & tired of feeling like this.
When I look at my wife and son, the guilt is almost too much to bear, so I must do something about this .. Now, not later-
So any further input as to what approach I should take would be great..
Thanks friends (May I call you friends?)
Blessings-
Me
So tempting
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Yuma, AZ
Posts: 2
I had your problem, and the withdrawals are beyond belief...try seeing a Doc. and getting SUBOXONE or find that on the streets (lyk I did) I weaned myself off of those, and suffered MINOR compared to cold turkey withdrawal for about 3 weeks...mainly the first two nights were awful coming off subs even tho i had cut it into tiny pieces n every other day taking...I also had to MOVE and remove myself from any place I would have access to opiates. Its a big step to do alone. I DID IT and I have been off them for over TWO YRS. I was also a junkie, cooking and shooting, so if I can do it, so can you. I have lost MANY friends to this drug. If there not in JAIL or PRISON there on METHADONE. Do not go to the clinic...GET SUBOXONE...U wont withdraw much if you KNOW HOW to control it and wean OFF!!! Cuz they are addictive as well...N seriously ur situation and environment is not good if ur gonna be able to get off these. Consider moving if u want to live w.o the drugs.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome ctown -
You're probably familiar with the substance abuse forum, but here's a link just in case you haven't been there: Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
It's great that you're seeking out advice and help to get sober. I think having a place like this to come to can make all the difference.
You might want to Google "addiction doctors" in your area and see if you can work out the best plan for you. Even if you had to take some days off, don't hesitate to do it...... you don't want things to get worse.
You're probably familiar with the substance abuse forum, but here's a link just in case you haven't been there: Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
It's great that you're seeking out advice and help to get sober. I think having a place like this to come to can make all the difference.
You might want to Google "addiction doctors" in your area and see if you can work out the best plan for you. Even if you had to take some days off, don't hesitate to do it...... you don't want things to get worse.
So tempting
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Yuma, AZ
Posts: 2
Oh i forget to mention- cold turkey I tried 3-4 times and made it a week- I was anywhere from 120-400 mg a day...depending on my "job" that night....I banked on drugs- bcuz they made me do **** I COULDNT do sober...A week into withdrawal- I couldnt take the pain ne more...id give in...I'd lay in a bed day one sweating it out, sit in a shower sweating it out, tylenol, water, gatorade...even tried JACK DANIELS for restless legs...none of it worked...suboxone saved me...I was sober to cope, but not in withdrawal and the weaning off was much easier, as they are not as TEMPTING
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: new york
Posts: 8
Whoa Temptation- I don't think anyone could have made your point anymore STRAIGHT to the point than what you just said. Very encouraging, yet at the same time,
brutally honest (in a stern, yet good way).
I was reading your post aloud along side my wife & she was wowed as well..
Thank you- thank you thank you~
I truly thank Everyone who has just taken a few minutes of their time to read something that "I" (not knowing any of you, & any of you not know me at all) wrote- and even take it as personally to have the heart and compassion or concern to write back... I think this might have been one of the few times that I smiled with true emotion, let out a few tears, while clutching my son whose sleeping, & quivering while trying to type this before I goto bed...Now, THIS, or THESE FEELINGS, of sincerety and the goose bumps are what I've been missing out on for the past 10 months, & man... Does this give me even more of a drive to want to get back to normal life with REAL FEELINGS.. I am very deeply touched at how everyone comes together in a forum group like this one, to "do" exactly what you're doing! It's really amazing.. I would always be on the outside reading in, and always wondered how it would feel, or what words would be even spoken to me if I ever joined such a forum.. But I always negatively turned away thinking,"those members are long timers and you have to know people and build up friendships if you want to chat with and get support"
Sorry for misjudging the forum- and I wish I only joined sooner-
However being ever so thankful to have joined regardless, knowing, that there ARE a few, if not several, who can relate to what I am going through...
& for you or them to offer good real deal advice & share about yourselves with me is almost too much for me accept at once time :*)
*Exhaaaaaaaaale* again, thanks a lot! Idk what to say..
But-This night of August 15,2012 will be marked on my permanent biological calendar for life-
"joined SR forum today- and was probably the best thing that's haplended to Me, as a person (not family etc) just as a person since I left the hospital-
The rest is pretty much junk-
Now I already see myself getting Wayyyy ahead of myself.
So in closing, I shall search for some Suboxone Dr in my area- Along with some possible NA meetings- I think I can manage the beginning on my own, being that I am my worst enemy- nobody pushes these pills into my mouth, I do..
So being that, I guess that's a good starting point, while
Cutting down my dosages starting NOW. I am not taking my last 30 mgs to start.
And also tomorrow morning, cut my 1st 15mg (1/2 blue) down to 10/325..
The rest of the day? Well I took it off for wife's Dr appt so I will be running errands and keeping busy while with her and my son- believe it or not, when I'm home-
I take a lot less- for example last Sunday.. Maxed out at 60mg..
Ugh- sorry started RAMBLING again-
So. With this- I shall report back.. If that's ok to say?? I don't want to get kicked off for saying something I wasn't supposed to? Kind of just checked the terms of use to get right in ASAP... I just knew I wanted to be in here or maybe too early to say, part of SA??
Thanks again- you all are the best!! I have good vibes going on (for the moment)
And I'm running on them!!! : )
It was nice meeting you all and I am ALWAYS OPEN EARS.
Peace and Love-
Me~
brutally honest (in a stern, yet good way).
I was reading your post aloud along side my wife & she was wowed as well..
Thank you- thank you thank you~
I truly thank Everyone who has just taken a few minutes of their time to read something that "I" (not knowing any of you, & any of you not know me at all) wrote- and even take it as personally to have the heart and compassion or concern to write back... I think this might have been one of the few times that I smiled with true emotion, let out a few tears, while clutching my son whose sleeping, & quivering while trying to type this before I goto bed...Now, THIS, or THESE FEELINGS, of sincerety and the goose bumps are what I've been missing out on for the past 10 months, & man... Does this give me even more of a drive to want to get back to normal life with REAL FEELINGS.. I am very deeply touched at how everyone comes together in a forum group like this one, to "do" exactly what you're doing! It's really amazing.. I would always be on the outside reading in, and always wondered how it would feel, or what words would be even spoken to me if I ever joined such a forum.. But I always negatively turned away thinking,"those members are long timers and you have to know people and build up friendships if you want to chat with and get support"
Sorry for misjudging the forum- and I wish I only joined sooner-
However being ever so thankful to have joined regardless, knowing, that there ARE a few, if not several, who can relate to what I am going through...
& for you or them to offer good real deal advice & share about yourselves with me is almost too much for me accept at once time :*)
*Exhaaaaaaaaale* again, thanks a lot! Idk what to say..
But-This night of August 15,2012 will be marked on my permanent biological calendar for life-
"joined SR forum today- and was probably the best thing that's haplended to Me, as a person (not family etc) just as a person since I left the hospital-
The rest is pretty much junk-
Now I already see myself getting Wayyyy ahead of myself.
So in closing, I shall search for some Suboxone Dr in my area- Along with some possible NA meetings- I think I can manage the beginning on my own, being that I am my worst enemy- nobody pushes these pills into my mouth, I do..
So being that, I guess that's a good starting point, while
Cutting down my dosages starting NOW. I am not taking my last 30 mgs to start.
And also tomorrow morning, cut my 1st 15mg (1/2 blue) down to 10/325..
The rest of the day? Well I took it off for wife's Dr appt so I will be running errands and keeping busy while with her and my son- believe it or not, when I'm home-
I take a lot less- for example last Sunday.. Maxed out at 60mg..
Ugh- sorry started RAMBLING again-
So. With this- I shall report back.. If that's ok to say?? I don't want to get kicked off for saying something I wasn't supposed to? Kind of just checked the terms of use to get right in ASAP... I just knew I wanted to be in here or maybe too early to say, part of SA??
Thanks again- you all are the best!! I have good vibes going on (for the moment)
And I'm running on them!!! : )
It was nice meeting you all and I am ALWAYS OPEN EARS.
Peace and Love-
Me~
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: new york
Posts: 8
Thanks Artsoul and Sugarbear- every post helps me
Loads- just to know that you're listening...
And yes, I will go to my PM doctor ASAP-
He IS our family Dr, and I need him to get any referrals to other Drs if I want insurance to cover it, however I am considering just finding a Dr on my own and pay out of pocket- in the long run, the Dr charges will be nothing comPared to what I would've been spending on my next batch- the batch that I won't BUY- wife has full access to bank and all my cards and cash- if I'm gonna do this- gotta do it right-
Last,'I have 14 blues (30s) left and I'm handing those over as well...
She hasn't the slightest clue as to how much to give me, but neither do I?
I'm going to try 3 pills for day 1 spread out, 3 for day 2, and work my way to nothing- and when nothing hits, hopefully I will have a Sub Dr inline for when I am 24 hours opiate free?
24 hours is the threshold, no?
Thanks again! And a great evening to all : )
#SR!!!
Loads- just to know that you're listening...
And yes, I will go to my PM doctor ASAP-
He IS our family Dr, and I need him to get any referrals to other Drs if I want insurance to cover it, however I am considering just finding a Dr on my own and pay out of pocket- in the long run, the Dr charges will be nothing comPared to what I would've been spending on my next batch- the batch that I won't BUY- wife has full access to bank and all my cards and cash- if I'm gonna do this- gotta do it right-
Last,'I have 14 blues (30s) left and I'm handing those over as well...
She hasn't the slightest clue as to how much to give me, but neither do I?
I'm going to try 3 pills for day 1 spread out, 3 for day 2, and work my way to nothing- and when nothing hits, hopefully I will have a Sub Dr inline for when I am 24 hours opiate free?
24 hours is the threshold, no?
Thanks again! And a great evening to all : )
#SR!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: new york
Posts: 8
Good morning all,
I woke up late, aches, and pains, but nothing severe..
Took 1/2 my normal (7.5mg) and felt ok at best to function..
I have 2 & 3/4 left to last me the day- I shall stretch it out as far as possible & see what happens- again, thanks for all of your help. Also, I will be searching for a Suboxone Dr nearby me as well... Meantime, I will fight off each dose as long as possible (which I have never even tried before) I know most of you are probably reading shaking your heads like,"this guy has no idea what he's in for"...
Which is 90% true. However, Ive stopped drinking alcohol since 2006 after 8 years of heavy binge drinking (wasn't easy either) along with lots of coke to go with that- I've been around it many many many times since and haven't touched it..
That said, I do have SOME willpower when it comes to helping myself, I just have to really want it- where in lies my problem- how bad do I really want this-
Hopefully bad enough!!!
Jitterbugs: thanks for you input, but at this time, an inpatient detox clinic would be my last resort reason being my demanding job- I understand why you would suggest this, and it's advantages, however I can't even begin to think about taking a full week off of work..
Given this wean plan or subs don't help, I will have no choice & leave it in God's hands..
If I gotta go to inpatient- then so be it..
B4 I go, it's been about 3 hours, and YES, I'm feeling anxious about taking another dose, but hanging in there! Usually by now I'm at 30-40 mg.
Only 7.5 so far- nothing to brag about, yet something I never would've thought Id be doing even 24 hours ago-
Thanks SR Members!!! Have a blessed day-
I'll report back even though you're all prob sick of my rambling already...
Sorry!
I woke up late, aches, and pains, but nothing severe..
Took 1/2 my normal (7.5mg) and felt ok at best to function..
I have 2 & 3/4 left to last me the day- I shall stretch it out as far as possible & see what happens- again, thanks for all of your help. Also, I will be searching for a Suboxone Dr nearby me as well... Meantime, I will fight off each dose as long as possible (which I have never even tried before) I know most of you are probably reading shaking your heads like,"this guy has no idea what he's in for"...
Which is 90% true. However, Ive stopped drinking alcohol since 2006 after 8 years of heavy binge drinking (wasn't easy either) along with lots of coke to go with that- I've been around it many many many times since and haven't touched it..
That said, I do have SOME willpower when it comes to helping myself, I just have to really want it- where in lies my problem- how bad do I really want this-
Hopefully bad enough!!!
Jitterbugs: thanks for you input, but at this time, an inpatient detox clinic would be my last resort reason being my demanding job- I understand why you would suggest this, and it's advantages, however I can't even begin to think about taking a full week off of work..
Given this wean plan or subs don't help, I will have no choice & leave it in God's hands..
If I gotta go to inpatient- then so be it..
B4 I go, it's been about 3 hours, and YES, I'm feeling anxious about taking another dose, but hanging in there! Usually by now I'm at 30-40 mg.
Only 7.5 so far- nothing to brag about, yet something I never would've thought Id be doing even 24 hours ago-
Thanks SR Members!!! Have a blessed day-
I'll report back even though you're all prob sick of my rambling already...
Sorry!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: new york
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by sugarbear1
Please see that doctor and stop playing one.
When you keep saying Dr, are you talking about a Suboxone or my primary health care provider? He's just a plain old internal medicine general practitioner.
Idk if he has any experience with opiates. Thanks again, Sugarbear
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