Thinking things through
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Eastern U.S.
Posts: 64
Thinking things through
At least we are trying to think things through. We have our grandchildren ...from our ASon who has been in jail since 3/26 and then went to rehab for past 6 weeks. He had court date 8/13 after returning to jail from rehab on 8/12. He was granted Bond. We weren't ask for money and he figured it out. His wife (do not have a marriage) is out of town working for two weeks. She scheduled the next two weeks out of town, and we have our two grandchildren. We love them, they are great, they love being here. So, now our son is out of jail on bond, he is in his home town. He called the kids yesterday, we heard nothing today. He doesn't have a license (we don't think) but we are thinking since he hasn't seen his kids since before 3/26 he would want to see them and figure a busy or plane ride to see the kids. We live a state away. We'll see...we are only at the end of day 1 being out of jail. Interesting though; he left jail and went home to his wonderful 'house' (not a home) where no one was. I don't think that is good...and wonder what the heck he is doing...but have to keep saying it is none of my business and he is 41. On the other hand..his two children are here. Hmmmm. Tell me something... why we should enjoy our grandchildren for the next two weeks and not thinkg about our son and what the heck he is doing... He has to go back to court on 8/23 and 824. He really made a mess for himself.
We enabled from the beginning of his arrest. We are really done. My husband hasn't quite gotten to 'being done'. I am ....because I am tired. My husband went to see the doctor and he suggested a counselor. My husband thinks I should go, but I really think he needs to go to figure his thoughts out first. What a mess...what a mess. I should be focusing on life today and retirement in the next couple years.
We enabled from the beginning of his arrest. We are really done. My husband hasn't quite gotten to 'being done'. I am ....because I am tired. My husband went to see the doctor and he suggested a counselor. My husband thinks I should go, but I really think he needs to go to figure his thoughts out first. What a mess...what a mess. I should be focusing on life today and retirement in the next couple years.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Eastern U.S.
Posts: 64
GettingBy
I have been to many Alanon meetings. I have an Alanon friend on the other side of the country. I have an AA friend a few states north (my old home state) of here. I haven't found an Alanon meeting that works so great, yet. I have been to many of them over the past 9 years... with a span of about 6 years of not going. I have gone to many open AA meetings in the area and they seem to be helpful so I can better understand alcoholism. Anyhow... I am having a bad day. My husband found my grandson walking down the all crying. He asked him (5 years old) what was wrong. He said, "I want my daddy." My granddaughter (8 years old) is going to call her dad. I asked her if she knows the #. She does. I avoided it yesterday, but today I am going to let her when she mentions it again. I am all wound up today. I wish my grandchildren had "ONE" sane parent. Unfortunately one unsane one and one alcoholic one. Very sad situation. We never expected any of this in our wildest dreams.
I have been to many Alanon meetings. I have an Alanon friend on the other side of the country. I have an AA friend a few states north (my old home state) of here. I haven't found an Alanon meeting that works so great, yet. I have been to many of them over the past 9 years... with a span of about 6 years of not going. I have gone to many open AA meetings in the area and they seem to be helpful so I can better understand alcoholism. Anyhow... I am having a bad day. My husband found my grandson walking down the all crying. He asked him (5 years old) what was wrong. He said, "I want my daddy." My granddaughter (8 years old) is going to call her dad. I asked her if she knows the #. She does. I avoided it yesterday, but today I am going to let her when she mentions it again. I am all wound up today. I wish my grandchildren had "ONE" sane parent. Unfortunately one unsane one and one alcoholic one. Very sad situation. We never expected any of this in our wildest dreams.
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
My life is not what I thought it was going to be. I had these dreams of a perfectly little family... Boy and girl children... Two successful professionals for parents... New beautiful house on 3 acres.... Golden retriever.
It was perfect. Happy. Family vacations. Family photos in front of the Christmas tree. Hosting parties.
It wasn't real or possible... My life was filled with alcoholism. And no matter hard I wished... It just wasn't going to happen. And the more I tried to make it match my dream... The more miserable I got.
It is what it is.
That one phrase saved my life.
I am a single mom. Not what I wanted but it is what it is.
I work for another engineering firm. Had my own, very successful business but couldn't keep it. It is what it is.
Accepting what is brings gratitude... And then peace.
It was perfect. Happy. Family vacations. Family photos in front of the Christmas tree. Hosting parties.
It wasn't real or possible... My life was filled with alcoholism. And no matter hard I wished... It just wasn't going to happen. And the more I tried to make it match my dream... The more miserable I got.
It is what it is.
That one phrase saved my life.
I am a single mom. Not what I wanted but it is what it is.
I work for another engineering firm. Had my own, very successful business but couldn't keep it. It is what it is.
Accepting what is brings gratitude... And then peace.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Eastern U.S.
Posts: 64
Gettingby
Thank you for your input/comments. Your dream (down to the golden) is what my son had...along a boy and a girl. Both professionals and upper middle class. Everything is what he would dream of. His alcoholism is bad... His wife is truly insane (she came to the marriage that way).
Today I found out he is at home... a 10 year younger client from the rehab came to visit him at his house (his wife is traveling two weeks for work and we have his children for two weeks). He was released on bond.
I am feeling used and abused. We have our grandchildren (don't get me wrong, i love them) while we are in our busy work season working 40-hour work weeks and juggling our time so we are home with them.
Oh... I am tired. My husband just came home and I have to go to work. I really appreciate your input. I have to write this down... Gratitude will bring peace. I just get so upset when I am tired, he is resting with his feet up...waiting for 8/23 court date. I hope he makes it...or maybe prison is on his plate.
You are a trooper. I just chuckled. I see "upstate NY". That is where we are from until 4 years ago.
Thank you for your input/comments. Your dream (down to the golden) is what my son had...along a boy and a girl. Both professionals and upper middle class. Everything is what he would dream of. His alcoholism is bad... His wife is truly insane (she came to the marriage that way).
Today I found out he is at home... a 10 year younger client from the rehab came to visit him at his house (his wife is traveling two weeks for work and we have his children for two weeks). He was released on bond.
I am feeling used and abused. We have our grandchildren (don't get me wrong, i love them) while we are in our busy work season working 40-hour work weeks and juggling our time so we are home with them.
Oh... I am tired. My husband just came home and I have to go to work. I really appreciate your input. I have to write this down... Gratitude will bring peace. I just get so upset when I am tired, he is resting with his feet up...waiting for 8/23 court date. I hope he makes it...or maybe prison is on his plate.
You are a trooper. I just chuckled. I see "upstate NY". That is where we are from until 4 years ago.
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